Headmaster: Well… Well… Well, it’s all got to do with the library, you see. We’ve had a lot of trouble recently with boys taking out library books without library cards. Your son was caught, and I administered a beating, during which he died. But you’ll be glad to know… You’ll be glad to know that the ringleader was caught, so I don’t think we’ll be having any trouble with library discipline. You see, the library card system…
Mr Perkins: I’m sorry…
Headmaster: …was…
Mr Perkins: You beat my son to death?
Headmaster: Yes, yes, so it would seem. Please, I’m not used to being interrupted. You see, the library card system was introduced…
Mr Perkins: Well, exactly what happened?
Headmaster: Well, apparently, boys were just slipping into the library and taking the books!
Headmaster: Well… Well… Well, it’s all got to do with the library, you see. We’ve had a lot of trouble recently with boys taking out library books without library cards. Your son was caught, and I administered a beating, during which he died. But you’ll be glad to know… You’ll be glad to know that the ringleader was caught, so I don’t think we’ll be having any trouble with library discipline. You see, the library card system…
Mr Perkins: I’m sorry…
Headmaster: …was…
Mr Perkins: You beat my son to death?
Headmaster: Yes, yes, so it would seem. Please, I’m not used to being interrupted. You see, the library card system was introduced…
Mr Perkins: Well, exactly what happened?
Headmaster: Well, apparently, boys were just slipping into the library and taking the books!
Mr Perkins: No, during the beating!
Mr Perkins: This is preposterous!
Headmaster: Yes, it is. Or at least, it would be…if it were true.
Mr Perkins: …What?
Headmaster: I’ve been joking, Mr Perkins. Pardon me, it’s my strange academic sense of humour. I’ve been pulling your leg.
Mr Perkins: Oh, thank God!
Headmaster: I wouldn’t cancel afternoon school to bury that little shit!
Classic sketch from Rowan Atkinson!