- tried to stay positive, then misfortune strikes
- tried making friends, ended up ghosted
- tried looking for better job, then scammed
- tried save money, inflation happens
- tried sell product online, fees and tax cut, also less buyers.
- tried theraphy, the solution only dont think about it, its okay (if only it was that easy)
- tried being nice, taken advantage of
- tried being honest, get hatred
- tried religion, yet god let million of nice person suffers
- tried sleep, need regular medication
- tried work hard, ended up surgery and years of rehabilitation
at this point, i am so tired with whatever i do, it always doesnt work.
right now i can relate why some people choose to become evil person, because being good and nice person in this world is just not as rewarding as bad people does. even those people who ghosted and bullied me ended up becoming rich and succesful, and here i am struggle everyday. life is really unfair world.
I’m late but as others have said, your logic is a little wonky. I would prescribe a dose of philosophy. Start with Plato.
So a bunch of the things you wrote have nothing to do with being nice. I wonder if you could provide a clear definition of what being nice actually is. Religion? Sleep? That’s got nothing to do with niceness.
But look clearly you need to think about who you’re being nice to. If a person treats you like dirt, there’s no good reason you should try to be nice to them… So I’m trying to figure out what your framing is, because maybe you took some advice somewhere and applied it recklessly and thought you would get good results.
Modern people in my experience work under the idea of “everyone’s dirty so it’s fine if I’m doing amoral acts”, if you’re doing the opposite you are showing them that there’s a way, integrity, goodness or whatever you wish to call it. They will hate you for it, but that’s not a fault of your own, it’s just their psyche trying to defend themself, not quite extensional threat but to their eyes it’s an eye sore.
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You can be nice, but establish boundaries. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
i do set boundaries, i stopped once i was taken advantage of but still i feel that i am just wasting my effort of being nice which is frustating.
Most of these posts assume that the goal for being nice and good is FOR the rewards. Like, “I donate to my homeless shelter all the time, and do I get any thanks? The HELL with them!” That is where it usually fails. The real trick is being strong enough to stay nice DESPITE the lack or rewards, or even inconvenience. You are nice and good because it’s a core of who you are, not just for flattery and incentives.
Yeah, getting to be nice and spreading smiles and just happiness around is all anyone can hope for.
You win some and lose some. Careerwise or monetarily it’s tougher but not inherently. Just capitalism. And I’d rather lose there and win in warmness and having nice and amazing people around
I’m nice because it makes me feel good. That’s the only reward I need.
Same. But another thing I add when I don’t feel like being nice is “be nice out of spite.” Spite is against a universe trying to make me mean and bitter. “Oh the Universe is cold and uncaring,” yeah well, fuck the universe, then. I’m not doing for the universe, I am doing it for me.
Right, you shouldn’t expect to be rewarded for it.
I expected also more negative things or at least people taking it for granted but to my surprise I got very positive reactions from a few basic kind acts.
When I hear people told my GF I’m always there for them and one of the few people they can count on that means a lot.
Try to consider being kind as it’s own reward, rather than something you do to gain another result
I was going to say this same thing exactly.
The benefit of being nice is living in a nice place with nice people, not winning some zero sum game of immediate gratification
i cannot understand being kind as its own reward, even people that donates and helps people in the street do monetize their content to get rewarded in form of attention and money which is another result
Most people helping in the street are not monetizing it as content. Only the ones you see on YouTube
Why are you treating this like it’s transactional?
Your character is a reflection on you and not a ticket to preferential treatment.
because i prefer that nice person is fairly rewarded, they deserved good treatment but in fact it often happened backward instead.
This just sounds like life. You sound like you’re in a depression slump because I start to view things the same way when I get in these slumps.
Being a helpful person is actually more rewarding to your well being than being a scammer. Read or listen to the YouTube audiobook, “The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama”
Being a genuine good human doesn’t make life easier, but it gives you peace of mind, because it’s the right thing to do.
And if people feel, that you mean it genuinely, they are much more likely to help you back.
i still doubt that “they are much more likely to help you back” when i done plenty of right thing yet either much more likely betrayed or taken advantage of.
It’s less financially rewarding because most of the developed world exists in the context of late stage capitalism and / or oligopoly.
yes those big corpos can run away with anything even its bad stuff.
Most of the things you listed are not moral things.
- staying positive
- making friends
- looking for a better job
- saving money
- selling online
- therapy
- religion
- sleep
All of these have nothing to do with moral good or evil. An evil person can stay positive that their plan to steal credit from coworker will result in their promotion. An evil person can make friends and take more than they give from the relationship. An evil person can take a better job that exploits vulnerable populations. An evil person can hoard wealth… And on and on.
It seems like you are saying things aren’t working out for you financially, socially, etc. And for a lot of that cognitive behavioral therapy can certainly help you reframe bad thinking and patterns to make things better. That doesn’t mean all your problems are solved, but it can make things better.
Many of the things you listed are wise things to do rather than morally good. And even if they don’t result in your idea of “success” they almost always result in something better than having not done them. For example saving money. Let’s say you save 10,000 and inflation makes it only have the purchasing power of 8,000. You find yourself in a spot where you are unemployed and that 8,000 is going to be a saving grace. It will help your life way more than if you had blown it on 10,000 worth of vacations or consumer goods.
Pretty much all of the examples you provided happen to shitty people too, probably at a hiring rate in many cases. The benefit of being a good person on those situations is that at least you can take pride in not being a turd. Take your list, and reverse the logic for each input and see if that would make you feel better.
- Maintained a crappy attitude, then misfortune strikes.
- Spent all of my money, inflation happens.
- Was a jerk, taken advantage of.
- Was a liar, get hatred.
Just a handful of examples.
that examples is what supposed to be happened and totally deserved, what is not fair it also happened to nice person and what is the point of pride if it is not rewarding at all?
If you’re being honest and nice to be rewarded, then you’re doing it wrong. You do it because it’s the right thing to do.
- tried theraphy, the solution only dont think about it, its okay (if only it was that easy)
the usual response is to try a different therapist
nah i dont want to waste any more money and time for theraphy, i prefer to treat it myself as much as possible.
You’re going about this all wrong. Morality is similar to religion in that it’s make-believe. Good vs. evil discourse is unserious, despite most people in bourgeois states taking it seriously, as well as corporate media.
This “evil/not evil” metaphysical dichotomy is a moral framework. There are no intrinsically ”evil” people, and I would drop that moral framework.
Philosophy professor and YouTuber Hans-Georg Moeller:
