I was like your daughter. Between like 5 and 15, I’ve tried so many different things. And while I sometimes had troubles admitting that I lost interest in something - especially when I knew the thing was expensive, like keyboard lessons - I am hella glad I got to try out so many things with no strings attached. It’s not even about committing to something or getting burned out. It’s just, man, life is short and now I am 33 and I just wouldn’t have the time or energy or motivation or money to try out everything I did as a kid. Karate and ballroom dancing and hiphop dancing and tennis and drawing and violin and ice skating and crafting - some things stayed for just a tryout, some for half a year or a year, some interests stayed for years. I’m so happy that I don’t have any hobby FOMO nowadays. I’m super grateful that my parents let me try out all of these things. (Also all the sports despite me sucking at sports like crazy. Except for all the dancing, that I rocked.)
As a kid I went from botany, to chemistry, to pneumatics, to rocketry, and then finally landed (heh) on IT. Now I work at a research firm supporting scientists doing (almost) all of the former.
Sampling is important, and has value beyond just the things they sampled and abandoned. The act of trying many different things is itself helpful.
Van Gogh wouldn’t have become the artist he became if he didn’t fizzle out of multiple career paths beforehand.
David Epstein’s Range really explores this idea and puts forth a pretty convincing argument that sampling and delaying specialization is helpful for becoming the type of well rounded generalist whose skills are best suited for our chaotic world.
I agree!
I have found a career that puts me right in the middle of IT, film-making and design.
All Areas where I started but never went the full mile…. Well turns out they’re all critical skills to take care of digital signage and hybrid events 😅
Yep. It’s why I try not to lean into anything too hard and get secondhand or minimal supplies. If she latches on, we can look at expanding, but that usually just fizzles out.
Yeah the move is to be supportive, but follow Adam Savage’s policies on gear: start with the cheapest option that’s serviceable, and go for the best stuff once the cheap stuff breaks (or you get good enough to justify the good stuff).
I’ve dabbled in a lot of hobbies and I follow this principle. Sometimes I get bored, and the low investment was well worth the experience of experimenting. Sometimes I keep at it intermittently, but the cheap gear is sufficient for my use. Sometimes I get good enough to justify the upgrade.
It sounds like the thesis to David Epstein’s book, Range. When I read it, it was a game changer for me.
If I recall correctly, the main examples were Roger Federer (who played a lot of sports and didn’t choose to specialize in tennis until much later than the typical tennis pro), jazz legend Django Reinhardt, Vincent Van Gogh, and a bunch of other less famous, but much more typical examples.
I don’t have kids so I’m not going to pretend I know anything about being a parent but there’s a book by Angela Duckworth titled Grit.
The book talks about the science of staying with a hobbie and how some of the greatest in the world was encouraged to stay with a subject, hobbie, or sport when they wanted to give up.
Angela has two daughters. Her rule with them is they have to stay with what ever they choose for a year. When they reach high school, it changes to two years. This puts her daughters in a position to really think about what they want to do next with their lives.
That’s sounds like a great way to create an ADHD kid who hates committing to trying anything and then resents their parents for forcing them to do something they hate. I would not recommend that long of a time period with people that old.
People quit on things too early to know whether they enjoy it and/or are good at it. This is especially true for people with ADHD. Having ADHD doesn’t mean that person cannot commit, it can also mean hyperfocus can kick in after a certain amount of time with an activity.
Resentment can go both ways. People resent their parents for not believing in them, or letting them quit when all they needed was encouragement.
Having ADHD doesn’t mean that person cannot commit
It kinda does. ADHD prevents you from creating habits. People will do something while it is new and interesting but once it becomes repetitive, you’ll need all the stars to align properly to keep doing it.
It can also mean hyperfocus can kick in after a certain amount of time with an activity.
That’s not how hyperfocus works. Hyperfocus is nothing more than being completely focused on a single thing to the point you don’t notice anything else around you. You can’t get hyoerfocused on something that bores you, even if it’s something you’re very interested on.
it’s better that they try and find out rather than regret not having done so and wonder for the rest of their lives. as long as what you’re doing is encouraging and supporting rather than pressing i say that’s the right thing to do.
I was going to protest but then I remembered when I visited a friend’s house and he had a couple of electric guitars gathering dust in a corner and neither I nor any of my other friends knew that he played guitar… Because he didn’t, it was just a one-off thing he never delved into lol.
That’s kinda where I expected the comic to go. Parent tries to be supportive, ends up trying to make it the kid’s whole personality, kid gets burnt out.
In reality and about 50% of the time:
Kid shows interest in something and the parent leans into it and encourages them, buys them the best stuff.
Kid gets burnt out on the thing and never touches it again.
Source, my daughter who loved art, then cooking, then tennis, then…
I was like your daughter. Between like 5 and 15, I’ve tried so many different things. And while I sometimes had troubles admitting that I lost interest in something - especially when I knew the thing was expensive, like keyboard lessons - I am hella glad I got to try out so many things with no strings attached. It’s not even about committing to something or getting burned out. It’s just, man, life is short and now I am 33 and I just wouldn’t have the time or energy or motivation or money to try out everything I did as a kid. Karate and ballroom dancing and hiphop dancing and tennis and drawing and violin and ice skating and crafting - some things stayed for just a tryout, some for half a year or a year, some interests stayed for years. I’m so happy that I don’t have any hobby FOMO nowadays. I’m super grateful that my parents let me try out all of these things. (Also all the sports despite me sucking at sports like crazy. Except for all the dancing, that I rocked.)
As a kid I went from botany, to chemistry, to pneumatics, to rocketry, and then finally landed (heh) on IT. Now I work at a research firm supporting scientists doing (almost) all of the former.
Sampling is important, and has value beyond just the things they sampled and abandoned. The act of trying many different things is itself helpful.
Van Gogh wouldn’t have become the artist he became if he didn’t fizzle out of multiple career paths beforehand.
David Epstein’s Range really explores this idea and puts forth a pretty convincing argument that sampling and delaying specialization is helpful for becoming the type of well rounded generalist whose skills are best suited for our chaotic world.
I agree! I have found a career that puts me right in the middle of IT, film-making and design.
All Areas where I started but never went the full mile…. Well turns out they’re all critical skills to take care of digital signage and hybrid events 😅
Yep. It’s why I try not to lean into anything too hard and get secondhand or minimal supplies. If she latches on, we can look at expanding, but that usually just fizzles out.
Dont get discouraged. Kids who sample or dabble in many interests are more likely to be top performers in their field later in life.
edit: I cant find the actual study at the moment, but it was covered on No Stupid Questions, so they will have provided a citation.
Yeah the move is to be supportive, but follow Adam Savage’s policies on gear: start with the cheapest option that’s serviceable, and go for the best stuff once the cheap stuff breaks (or you get good enough to justify the good stuff).
I’ve dabbled in a lot of hobbies and I follow this principle. Sometimes I get bored, and the low investment was well worth the experience of experimenting. Sometimes I keep at it intermittently, but the cheap gear is sufficient for my use. Sometimes I get good enough to justify the upgrade.
It sounds like the thesis to David Epstein’s book, Range. When I read it, it was a game changer for me.
If I recall correctly, the main examples were Roger Federer (who played a lot of sports and didn’t choose to specialize in tennis until much later than the typical tennis pro), jazz legend Django Reinhardt, Vincent Van Gogh, and a bunch of other less famous, but much more typical examples.
an epstine book being recommended for advice on kids?
I don’t have kids so I’m not going to pretend I know anything about being a parent but there’s a book by Angela Duckworth titled Grit.
The book talks about the science of staying with a hobbie and how some of the greatest in the world was encouraged to stay with a subject, hobbie, or sport when they wanted to give up.
Angela has two daughters. Her rule with them is they have to stay with what ever they choose for a year. When they reach high school, it changes to two years. This puts her daughters in a position to really think about what they want to do next with their lives.
That’s sounds like a great way to create an ADHD kid who hates committing to trying anything and then resents their parents for forcing them to do something they hate. I would not recommend that long of a time period with people that old.
People quit on things too early to know whether they enjoy it and/or are good at it. This is especially true for people with ADHD. Having ADHD doesn’t mean that person cannot commit, it can also mean hyperfocus can kick in after a certain amount of time with an activity.
Resentment can go both ways. People resent their parents for not believing in them, or letting them quit when all they needed was encouragement.
It kinda does. ADHD prevents you from creating habits. People will do something while it is new and interesting but once it becomes repetitive, you’ll need all the stars to align properly to keep doing it.
That’s not how hyperfocus works. Hyperfocus is nothing more than being completely focused on a single thing to the point you don’t notice anything else around you. You can’t get hyoerfocused on something that bores you, even if it’s something you’re very interested on.
it’s better that they try and find out rather than regret not having done so and wonder for the rest of their lives. as long as what you’re doing is encouraging and supporting rather than pressing i say that’s the right thing to do.
I was going to protest but then I remembered when I visited a friend’s house and he had a couple of electric guitars gathering dust in a corner and neither I nor any of my other friends knew that he played guitar… Because he didn’t, it was just a one-off thing he never delved into lol.
That’s kinda where I expected the comic to go. Parent tries to be supportive, ends up trying to make it the kid’s whole personality, kid gets burnt out.