Scruffy, do you have any varmint grease?

What viscosity do you need?

You did! Plus I was still jealous of your uni with quail egg from yesterday…

You bastard!! (said with jealousy)

“We don’t want them here anyway” - some MAGA idiot, presumably

The hardest part about returns is driving to the local library to print out the return label for 25 cents.

Much less trouble than owning a printer!!

Can I self medicate with alcohol and weed instead?

Decapod 10 approved!!

My Walmart scans the receipt and then scans 3 items from your cart to verify they’re on the receipt.

A nice cabbage soup in a crock pot is always nice, and freezes well. https://www.iheartnaptime.net/cabbage-soup/#recipe

Depression, but I don’t see what sleeping naked has to do with anything

…if I had a nickel for everytime I heard that

I’m surprised the magnets don’t work for you. I use magnets when sous viding all the time and they always do the trick. Maybe they’re not strong enough?

Well, once in the park

With his pants pulled way up 😂

Us child free Gen Xers on the other hand…

I like the Pasta Roni angle hair pasta with tuna. Cooks in 5 minutes, throw the tuna in the last minute, delicious!