This is a good summary of my experience of both Speed Racer and Jupiter Ascending (although the latter has Eddie Redmayne chewing scenery like it was going out of style).

The Master and the… MARGARITA??

Edit: Bought.

Every time I have to confiscate the book my kid is reading after lights out I feel like an adult.

The rest of the time… fuck no.

(They get it back in the morning – I’m not a monster!)

On the plus side, they feel fictional because they’re completely made up.