Look at your damn hand!

No, there is a pad to the paw, as there is a pad to your finger tips. There is a peak to a mountain. Goddamn, just I’m done.

Or just completely accurate.

You have to be just trolling. My entire cat’s foot isn’t a paw. Each foot or hand has multiple paws.

I think I am just talking to little kids.

You have paws on your fucking hand and feet! Goddamn, look at your hand. You see where the center of your palm is deep, but you have raised flesh at the base of your thumb and under your pinky finger, as well as the base of your fingers?

Dude, those are your fucking paws.

Fuck’s sake.

They aren’t appendages, they are attributes of the appendage. Has the world just gone crazy?

Grip it with your paws, don’t just use your fingers: if you ever worked with your hands you would have heard that phrase.

No. You have paws on your hands. Look at your hand. Grip it with your paws: common expression.

See the dip in the middle of your palm? See how there are little mountains around it? THOSE ARE YOUR PAWS.

Yes… what?

Paws are part of the palm. You grip with them.

I swear, I want to shake the hands of all of the dorks so they can feel their fucking paws.

Are you from another world? You don’t know where your paws are? Jesus on a cracker, you are so damn ignorant.

Do I need to explain that you also have thighs? Not just chickens have them.

Seriously, what the hell do you use for grip? Your paws. This is insane.

Google grip with your paws. OMG, you are going to get your goddamn mind blown.

I know you haven’t worked construction, but you probably should wear a hard hat just in case.

Really cannot fathom why in the world I am having to explain something so fundamental.

Etymology. This is silly. Are you not an animal?

Me either. I am a rather fungi.

So silly: do you refer to the palms of your feet? Do you refer to the back paws of a dog? Just dumb.

And you used effectively ineffectively.

Like, what effect are you affecting? You realize the difference between nouns and verbs, right? Because we are discussing nouns.

Just, I don’t know, etymology.

Oh, you sky-intists. You won the smart award for this.

And did you read it? You rub the palm.

(slow clap using my paws…)

Ok, so you know how you have features on your palm that stand out? Like the base of your fingers, the base of your thumb, and the opposing side: That IS your paw.

You have a paw, or palm, of your hand, as well as your feet. Seriously, kids…

You activated the magic by rubbing the palm/paw, not the knuckles. Not the fingers. This just seems so silly to me.

On that note, Tyler Durden and the Narrator were the same person. And Bruce Willis was a ghost. And when Jeff Dunham (sp? don’t like his comedy) is up there with the puppet, he is actually THE ONE SPEAKING, never the puppet.

The more you know. (shooting star)

He commented as if people in IT didn’t already know. Did you know that an exobyte a billion gigabytes?

What? Are you ejaculating gas? Dude, that’s a fart. Do it from the other direction, but don’t do it in the shower.

Dear lord, talk to a plumber. Ejaculate becomes more vicous when heat is applied. Your shower drain probably looks like the president’s arteries. And it sticks to hair. You are going to have an embarrassing discussion with the plumber, buddy.

Pretty common? I guess if you want clogged drains.

Yeah, disgusting that you need constant media and disgusting that you spend that much time in the shower.

It takes me about 20 minutes to shower, shave, brush my teeth, and dress, but in all fairness, I pick out my clothes before I go to bed.

I have a marsboy, and it is on the sink, not in the shower. But then again, I also leave the door open and the exhaust on, so the mirror doesn’t fog. But I honestly wouldn’t take anything with a screen in there.

However, I did have a airpod fall out of my left ear and it dropped in the toilet. Due to its “sleek design” it took me a good five minutes to retrieve it. Kept it separated from activation and tried it out over a few hours. Surprisingly, it still works.

But it does remind me of a coworker who had an iPod Touch and bragged that he had found the perfect pocket: his breast pocket. That same day, he destroyed in when it fell in the toilet.

I cheered him up by sending him the IT Crowd episode where Moss did the same thing with his cell phone.

Who the hell takes their phone into the shower?

The “teenagers” have been reckless and foolish… we taxpayers have given a shit ton of money, and likely through nepotism, hired a shitty security team.

Yeah, I was confused… hey OP, send me a stamped self addressed envelope. I actually have one sitting around.

But why not practice with a quarter?

I don’t know, Lord Pointless. I thought something foul was said. Forgive me, I will recide to the back of your mind.