There’s a reason they’re called the gICEtapo

Allergies.

I’m allergic to bee venom, so I developed a phobia of them after my second sting at about 5 years old.

It took me until my thirties to start working on the phobia.

I reached a point where I was able to encounter bees, wasps, and hornets without fleeing or freaking out. I even caught a bumblebee that got into the house a few weeks ago and released it. Well, me and my kid did, it got into a weird corner and it took both of us to get it captured without hurting it.

But, back in my early twenties, I once ran away from a bumblebee that was doing absolutely nothing, leaving my patient standing there confused.

Those two events encapsulate my bee experience perfectly lol.

As it stands, as long as a nest of hornets or wasps isn’t in my yard, I’m okay with them. In my yard, if there’s nobody willing to relocate them, they ded.

Other bees and bee like critters are all good, though I would call the beekeeper that I know if a hive set up shop in the yard because he has promised he’d do so. And I know him because he was a total bro when I randomly called him and explained I was working through a phobia, and could he help with a few things. Dude went so far above and beeyond it was crazy.

Not only did he bring out single bees for visits in those little queen boxes, he did so with it taking a half hour each way, and turned turn gas money. Then, once I was chill with holding the box, he bought a freaking suit that would fit my sasquatch ass, just so I could visit his hives. Said that since he had started lifting, it was an investment in his success in getting beefed up, but dude is all of 5’7, and even though he does lift regularly is still way smaller than me, and always will be.

Anyway, point is that it eventually got to the point that I could visit his hives without the suit, though not up close. way closer than I ever thought possible, because it was close enough that bees were in the air around us. And I had my epipen in hand. But still.

That’s tangential to what you actually asked, but I do view flying, stinging insects with a different emotion than anything else. Bumblers are as close to zero reaction as it gets because they’re just so chill. As long as I see them instead of them buzzing me before I can track them, I can sit and watch them.

Honey bees, it’s number based. Once there’s more than a few, I can’t track them all, so I tend to get nervous and exit the vicinity calmly.

Wasps and hornets, I do not fuck with. That clenching in my guts when they’re nearby is not ever going away, I don’t think. But, I don’t run screaming like a child any more.

But other than that, my likes and dislikes are fairly broad. Like, I don’t even hate roaches and mosquitoes, I just don’t want them around because of health risks. I can see the beauty in them, I can appreciate them without an “ugh” factor. Compare that to seeing up close pictures of hornets where, as much as I recognize their beauty, it’s a horrifying beauty.

Now, how much I like something is pretty damn arbitrary. I love tigers, but lions are just cool. Why? No fucking idea. I like reptiles, but it’s not an emotional thing. It’s “oh, cool, a snake. So, what were we talking about?”

Dogs and cats, I don’t even factor into this kind of thing because we’ve coevolved with both for so long that they’re part of us.

But, chickens. Fucking chickens! We have some now, and I love the things. Growing up, the chickens I knew were all food production. Small scale, a dozen or so layers that could be used as meat in a pinch, plus some being raised for meat. So they weren’t exactly socialized with humans. If you weren’t bringing them food, and weren’t bothering them, they DNGAF about you.

But, our first one was taken in young, as a sorta rescue. So he got socialized part way. Then we got a hen that was hand raised, and very young, and she very much enjoys being with her people, so she’s much more personable with humans in general. And even the half feral hen that has joined us is a delight in her own way, despite not wanting contact directly. They’re all dumber than dammit, and messy and loud, but that’s part of what’s great about them too.

Two years ago, at this point in 2023, if you told me that the best part of my evenings would be cuddling on my couch with a chicken, I would have assumed you were tripping balls. And if you told me I’d be willing to die for a chicken, I’d have told you you were an idiot. But here I am, perfectly willing to run into the yard and take off after a coyote because it was fucking with my rooster. Which, I forgot the damn shotgun as far as that goes, which is also a good indicator of exactly how upset I was. Ran right past the thing, broke a hinge on the door and was as close to running as I get. Had to spend two days in bed recovering from screwing up my back during it, but I’d still do it again.

I fucking love my chickens, and that love has spread to other chickens. The one feral rooster that runs around used to annoy the shit out of me, but now I look forward to him, my rooster, and the little bantam rooster at another house serenading everyone. When the ferals pay a visit, or the flock from the other nearby house that keeps birds get loose and show up, I’m watching and smiling, even if I don’t go join them.

Ahhh, I made the error of forgetting to note that it does vary by location. Thank you :)

Aight, you seem to want to ignore the legal benefits, so I won’t mention that beyond saying that it is a hell of a lot easier to get married than to figure out all the paperwork needed to duplicate it, and not even have the exact same outcomes, just the majority. The tax thing, for example, you can’t file jointly if you aren’t married, no matter what else you set up (edit: in places where things like common law marriage aren’t recognized)

The biggest thing is the experience, imo. The memory.

Now, me and my wife went to the JoP, with our kid and required witnesses (my best friend and his husband).

No fancy reception, no major party, just went home and said to my dad “we’re back, no problems.” He said congratulations, and went back to watching TV.

Total spent was about a hundred bucks, including gas. And the memories of it are wonderful, we cherish it all, and we’re happy as hell we didn’t do anything else.

Wedding ceremonies, however, are expensive once you go beyond that bare minimum. That’s a cultural/sociological thing where the needs of the individual and the culture mesh into not only believing it necessary, but beneficial.

And, for the people that want it, it is beneficial. Ceremonies, rites, rituals, they serve a purpose beyond the legal or official status that comes with them. Weddings are as much about community as they are the couple. It’s the union being both recognized and celebrated at the same time, even when it’s a secular ceremony rather than religious.

Don’t get me wrong, the money spent on empty bullshit surrounding weddings is absurd. But the actual wedding, where the community stands around the couple is incredibly powerful in terms of validation, even when it’s the license that really matters legally. You can have ceremonies without the license; I performed several of them back before same sex marriage became legal. Those events were important, and doubly so because they had no legal standing.

I think that’s what you’re missing, that there’s a massive difference between two people shacking up and marriage. When the people involved swear an oath, and/or exchange symbols of union it means something, even if there’s no witnesses, not even someone to perform a ceremony. But as you move into witnesses and an officiant, it feels different because it is a public commitment. You can still divorce or whatever, but it happened, and you can never deny that. That moment, the vows, they exist in a way they don’t if you swear only to each other.

Yeah, two people can be just as committed, and honor their commitment perfectly without anything else. But it feels different.

Now, again, I’d argue that once you start shelling out for crazy dresses and cake and niche receptions, you hit diminishing returns very quick. That’s to satisfy other things, not the union itself. It may well make people happy, but it doesn’t add anything to the underlying point of there being a ceremony in the first place. That of saying to the world “where once there were two, now there are one”.

Not that anyone has to share the valuation, but it’s what underlies the whole thing, and it has value

Id say it’s the mindset of the experienced linux user that matters.

If you’re willing to tell a person, “if you run into trouble, call me”, and then follow up when they do, half the fight is over.

Most people, they try it and it’s fine, as long as the basics are there. You show them where the browser and email are, set up desktop shortcuts to important stuff, and answer questions, and they’ll eventually not even think about the fact that it isn’t windows.

But the first time they run into trouble, and you can’t give them an answer in a reasonable amount of time, they blame Linux, because they forgot how long it took them to figure out windows originally, and aren’t willing to look things up even if that’s what they did when they ran into a Windows problem.

So, you gotta play tech support for a while if you’re the one introducing them.

You aren’t going to change mindsets inside someone else in any realistic timeframe.

Ehhhh, I think you screwed up by over explaining. The point you’re endlessly actually asking about makes sense, and it’s a valid discussion to have, but it’s buried when you’re trying to ask something. There’s a limit in the human brain to how much information you can track in a question before you start losing parts. There’s one for raw information as well, but it’s bigger and easier to bypass. I hope, because this is going to be a long response.

The reason that “super straight” is offensive is because it implies that attraction to a trans person isn’t heterosexual when the expressed gender would make the attraction hetero. By the very fact that “super” is used as the modifier, it implies better as well. And that’s just bullshit, which I think you pretty much said despite it being buried.

If you have some need to draw a distinction between heterosexuality that includes trans partners, it’s inherently trans exclusionary. There’s nothing wrong with not being attracted to trans people, it’s when the implication is that there’s a difference between heterosexuals that do and haven’t experienced that attraction that you run into the wall.

However, for the purposes of discussing the matter, I think either cis-exclusive hetero or trans-exclusionary hetero would be the most effective terms cis-exclusive would mean that your attraction is limited to cis people, with no rejection of transness in that you would be expressing it as attraction first. Trans,exclusionary would be for those that reject transness ideologically or for reasons other than raw attraction.

Now, I think it important to note that a lack of attraction by itself doesn’t mean anything else. It isn’t some kind of glaring proof of bigotry. The way humans form attraction leads to the unfamiliar having a greater weight in what base attractions factor in. As an example, not being attracted to white people doesn’t mean you’re a bigot, it just means that the collective set of characteristics of white people doesn’t match your inner “template”.

Now, that template may well have been formed because of bigotry, be it internal or external, but it isn’t the proof of the pudding. Just by virtue of growing up with little or no exposure to other physical traits than your own ethnicity can cause your template to be limited to those that look most like what you’re used to. The unfamiliar is, on a primitive level, a questionable source for mates.

It’s how people handle their templates that matters, not that they have them. If I say “white women are ugly”, that’s shitty, and a form of bigotry. If I say “I’ve never met a white woman that I’ve been attracted to”, that’s a statement of fact (well, not for me personally, this is an example, not a statement of my own preferences). Now, I could be saying it politely and still be a bigot, but saying it isn’t proof of bigotry.

This applies to trans people too. Acknowledging that you’ve never felt attraction to a trans person is a statement. Saying that they’re ugly is shitty, and is probably bigotry, depending on the reasoning. Saying they aren’t women/men is bigotry.

So, the why matters more than actual terminology, which means that more options in terminology are helpful when discussing the matter in general. The two I suggested are already what I use in my head when thinking about the subject of attraction as a whole, and how transness factors into the individual “templates”.

Now, as a personal example, I don’t have many limits in terms of what kind of women I feel attraction to. Race has never factored in at all. The range of physical features I feel attraction to is very broad, and tends to be more about details than categories (like noses; size doesn’t factor in, proportions do). As such, I can’t ever say I wouldn’t be attracted to a trans woman. I can, however, say that I would never be attracted to a trans man because I’ve never been attracted to a man. Tbh, I’ve never experienced attraction to anyone that strongly presented as male, even when I knew they were women. My inner template has an edge in the androgynous range of features and traits, and once it crosses into a perception of a person being a man/male, attraction goes away.

I included that as a comparison, because what/who I personally feel attraction to isn’t the same as examples used. For the same reason, I specifically have experienced attraction to trans women, but never in a circumstance where it mattered. Thus, I don’t fit either the cis-exclusive or trans-exclusionary labels, to the best of my self awareness.

Now, I get it. Trans identity is only fairly recently in general awareness. It’s been in my lifetime that it went from being something even most bigots didn’t really know existed (and they look for people to hate because that’s their fetish, hate) to being something that’s a topic of common discussion. So there’s going to be people that just don’t know enough to matter still talking about the subject. Ignorance isn’t the same as hate, though they sometimes wear the same hat. That’s where some if the things you talked about (l.e. “secretly gay”) come from. They just don’t get it.

That’s why I agree that the term “super” straight/gay is bullshit and needs to go away. But there is room for terminology to indicate the layers of attraction in conversation, as long as people aren’t being dicks about it

It can be, yeah.

Ex porn performers tend to report a lot of exploitation in their working lives. Since many of them are exposed to abuse on the job, and there’s a built in culture of addiction increasing activities, it amplifies abuse and exploitation.

That being said, professional porn is voluntary. So there’s an upper limit to how exploitative it can be. But that upper limit is very disturbing. Enough so that finding any professional porn that isn’t exploitative is difficult, and even the companies that do fairly ethical porn aren’t perfect.

But, any idiot can make porn, and very often that’s the easiest to find. With that kind of thing, there’s not even the usual word of mouth to avoid the bad makers because they’re looking for desperate performers they can use quick and make whatever small profit they can. I’m not talking about people filming their own sex, it’s an individual or small group recruiting local people for it, with false promises, and not even following up on those promises.

Like that one group that would recruit women, typically 21 and under, promising that the videos would only be distributed overseas, with their plan being to distribute everywhere. Outright lying. Can’t remember the name of their “company”, but it was in the news a few years ago.

It’s gotten to the point that if you worry about the porn being ethically made, you have to do research, and most people don’t do that, and won’t. They’ll either ignore the problems, or just stop using porn. The vast majority will just ignore the problems. Which is fine, it is legal and voluntary, so there’s no obligation to do anything other than avoiding CP and real rape stuff. Nobody has to care about anything beyond that, it’s a personal choice.

And that applies to the specific segments you asked about. Barely legal is still legal, and it an adult, no matter how short a time they’ve been one, wants to make porn, that’s their right. And it is a right as it falls under body autonomy. Other aspects of porn aren’t a right, but to make one, yeah, it is; it’s when you start distributing it or sharing it, or selling it that it crosses from right into something able to be regulated.

Which, by extension, it doesn’t matter who watches what.

For one thing, if we’re going to be aroused by other people having sex, it’s supposed to be other adults. There’s no functional difference when the performer is 23 or 18. They’re an adult, they get the choice to perform or not. And, it is directly normal to be aroused by the bodies of people that have achieved adult development. It may or may not be socially acceptable to do something about that arousal, but that’s a separate issue from our bodies and brains being “coded” to respond to sexually mature bodies.

There’s no magic aura around people that says what age they are, and if they’re not within a specific adult age range, our bodies and brains ignore them. The performers made a choice to make their bodies and performances available for the purposes of arousal, so there’s no dilemma based on the age of the audience or performers. That’s what it’s for. We’re all free to choose what kind of porn we consume, or to not consume.

Also, it isn’t just older men. Some of us old fucks don’t use porn, and plenty of women of all ages do enjoy porn with younger performers. Yeah, it’s a huge difference in numbers, but the gender of the viewer is irrelevant to the ethics of porn.

Seriously, the idea that age is supposed to be some kind of automatic barrier to what you’re aroused by is just dumb. We’re riding around these meat machines, and they’re built to respond to certain cues. Among those cues are the signs of probable fertility. This means that the majority of the human race is going to be aroused primarily to other humans from the late teens to the late thirties/early to mid forties This is separate from any social limits around what we can do about that arousal.

That, btw isn’t to say that anyone with gerontophilia is somehow bad. Ain’t nothing that says you have to limit yourself upwards in age.

So, I have zero issue with anyone enjoying any legal pornography. I don’t even object to other people not caring about the ethics of the porn they use, as long as it isn’t kids or an act of rape on film. And I mean a real rape, not a performance of rape with performers consenting to the act for the purposes of filming.

Shit, when it comes to porn, as long as the performers are of a reasonable legal age, idgaf if they look adult or not. Just because it’s a turn off for me doesn’t mean those performers that are visually underdeveloped for their age shouldn’t have the same freedoms as anyone else. I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t keep a damn close eye on someone that was specifically looking for only that branch of porn, but as long as the performers are at least 18, they can, and should be able to, choose their form of employment no matter what their body looks like.

But, being real, I have developed a bit of a personal block about porn. I just don’t like the ethics of the industry, even the good companies that go the extra mile to ensure performers are treated well. I had known about those ethical issues long before it started to bother me, but since they were all consenting adults, that was enough for me to make use of it on occasion. But somewhere in my late thirties, it started being something I had trouble ignoring.

Then, the “fappening” happened and it really pissed me off. It made all the problems I have with porn impossible to ignore, to the point that even if I know the people on screen were in total control of everything, there’s that nagging voice I’m my head saying “yeah, but”. And that “but” is that the industry as whole is broken ethically. That voice is loud enough that porn stopped being arousing to me, damn near entirely, with the exception being when it’s people I know that are sharing it with me directly (or did so) because they enjoy doing so as a source of fun for themselves. Which is more common than you’d think.

But, again, that’s me. What other people do and enjoy is none of my damn business, so long as the basic criteria of a reasonable age of consent is present, and the acts on screen are consented to.

Yup, que

Apparently, I saw COC before Pepper was in the band. I don’t really remember it, but I sent my cousin the link to this because he loves them.

Well, I used to spend part of my summers with him, over near Charlotte. We did see a bunch of shows because one of his cousins on the side I wasn’t related to worked for some promoter.

Anyway, I do remember seeing a show with him at this sketchy little venue there, and him just going batshit for the band, and I remember liking them, just not as much as him. But I’m damned if I can recall much else. Like, I kinda remember the parking lot, and a group of hot girls that were smoking outside, and the crowd being super high energy, but not really any specific songs or much more than the general vibe of the music.

He swears that was CoC, but he can’t remember which venue it was, or exactly what year, just that it was before Pepper because he was conflicted when he joined.

I’m thinking it had to be around 87, because we were pretty damn young, and I recall listening to Master of Puppets on the way there, talking about wanting to see Metallica play Orion live.

Which has almost nothing to do with this song, but it kinda bugs me that I don’t remember the show itself really.

Doesn’t have to be all at once, or even immediate. It’s a process. Reunions, alumni activities, that kind of thing are going to give you the start. You run into someone that knows someone, you ask if they’ll help you make contact.

Nah, to be a large nose, it has to be out of proportion to the rest of the head, and his isn’t.

Well, whether or not it makes you a bad person now is up to you.

Regret, shame, they’re a great start, but they’re not enough to make you a good person.

Number one is taking steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Yeah, some of that is fixed by getting older and developing more. But not all of it. The proclivity to follow others alone is something you have to root out of yourself.

But a big factor is what you do with what already happened. Have you tried to make amends? Not everyone will want to deal with you again, and even those that will give you a chance might not accept any apologies. And you have to accept that, because an apology to make yourself feel better isn’t an apology, it’s a continuation of your abuse to others.

You fucked with people, now you gotta make it right.

I love the typo because it covers so many things at once

Queue as in they’re lining up to do it; cue, as in that’s their cue to be stupid; and que (spanish for what) as in what the fuck are they thinking?

With a face like that, he doesn’t even have to try

Me around this dog:

Oops dropped some ham!

Five seconds later:

Oops dropped some ham!

Five seconds later

Oops dropped some ham!

And then stop, because I don’t want a dog to be unhealthy, but I’d feel really bad about not dropping some ham

It really varies too much between industries to give a single answer. Someone at an insurance company is going to be doing something vastly different than an accountant, and they’ll be different from an architect (though only part of what architects do is in the office).

That being said, office work for the average worker, as in a salaried or hourly worker with a fairly rigidly defined job description, is usually going to be paperwork, even though there’s not always paper involved.

It’s taking information and moving it around, in one way or another.

As an example, one of my exes worked for a company that handles employee benefits, investments, and other services to other companies. Lets say a worker has an IRA, gets a nice insurance policy, and there’s a pension fund.

Her job is to take data from the company that contracted with the company she worked for, enter that data into the system in an properly formatted way, run calculations, then trigger the appropriate funds being moved from one account to another. No meetings unless something goes wrong. It’s all day data entry and management.

Now, before that job, she worked at a tax service under a CPA. She would get actual paper back then. Receipts, forms, and look for deductions for the client, then print out the church correct tax form, have the client sign it, then send it off. She would finish one, then start the next, all day long during tax season. Off season, she would be receiving accounting records from clients and entering them into the system of the company she worked for, and process things like withholding.

Pretty much, neither of those jobs required leaving the desk her entire shift.

Now, my best friend runs a department at a community college. He leaves the actual desk frequently. There’s meeting with his superiors, meetings with his underlings, meetings with vendors, budgeting work, orders, policy decisions, disciplinary decisions, and the list keeps on going.

My best friend’s husband was a flunky at architectural firm. When he was on a project, his job was drafting designs per specifications given to him. It required doing some oh the work, meeting with the architect, then changing anything per their decisions, or finalizing those plans. From there, once plans were ready to be used by someone to build something, he would essentially coordinate between contractors and his office to troubleshoot any snags with things like permits, supply issues, etc. So it was usually a lot of desk with work over a few weeks or months, then weeks or months barely at a desk, but still mostly in office.

Myself, I never had a long term office job. But, during recovery from a work related injury, I was pulled into the office of the home health company I worked for. My injury precluded patient care, but I was okay for light duty.

I was placed in staffing. I would roll in early, about 6 AM, and check for any call-ins. That would be employees needing to have their case covered by someone else for whatever reason. I would call other caregivers based on availability, proximity to the patient, and hours already worked. The last one was to avoid overtime unless absolutely necessary.

The software used, I would type in the name, and their details would pop up with their address, phone number, and current schedule. Same with the patient.

The first step for me was always to check the patient’s location, because that let me filter out people on the list as available by proximity before anything else, since I would have to just go down the list. I’d enter a name, check the location, and decide who to short list. Once I had the short list, I’d verify they were not going into OT, and start calling, with priority given to employees that had requested more hours.

Most of the time, a call-in would take fifteen to twenty minutes to resolve.

Once the morning run was over, it would be time for a quick coffee and come back to handle any afternoon call-ins in the same way. Have lunch, then repeat for evening/night call-ins.

During the few months I was doing it, most of the time, that was handled by maybe 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Some days it was all handled before lunch, and very occasionally by the time the coffee break was available. Very variable because there are days when folks just didn’t call in as much. And there were days it was crazy, particularly when there’d be something like a bad flu run through local schools and the parents would either catch it, or need to take care of their kids.

But, usually, the afternoons were either straight up bullshitting with the ladies in the office (not flirting or messing with, just swapping healthcare war stories), or helping with sorting out patient intake and/or prioritizing staffing for new patients. A new patient means you either shuffle staff around, hire new caregivers, or break it to the bosslady that someone is going to need overtime until the other options could happen. Since I knew pretty much everyone, I was good at figuring out who would be a good pick for a patient’s needs.

A few times, I did some of the initial onboarding for new caregivers. Get them the employee handbook, introduce them around, talk about expectations, that kind of happy horseshit.

Tbh, I liked it most days, but not as much as patient care. Don’t think I could have done it for years or anything, but as a temporary thing, it was nice.

See? Totally different daily routines and work between industries.

Ahhhhh, my homie, delete this. Quickly. And never ask such a thing on an insecure service again.

I’m not saying I don’t understand, I do. But you gotta at least pretend to show basic caution.

Right this very second, my chicken preening herself next to me, occasionally pausing to make sure I see her preening herself so that I continue to sweetly praise her

You gotta understand something. It’s all speculation.

There’s no official rules stating a pope has to be a certain age. There’s no procedural factors that make it mandatory.

This means that unless the Cardinals over time state that age was a factor in their voting, the rest of us can only guess, and the Cardinals involved in the election are supposed to never reveal what goes on during the voting.

While it’s definitely possible to apply sound reasoning into why popes tend to be well past middle age overall, there have been popes under 50, and even a couple under 40. One was a pope multiple times, and was first elected at 12. That’s Benedict the 9th, and it was over a thousand years ago, but still.

The Cardinals are supposed to be picking the pope based on their worthiness to be pope, but there’s been plenty of times where it was politics and power mongering all the way.

Like any institution, the church has changed and shifted over its incredibly long history, with all the ups and downs of its influence, wealth, and power. So, obviously, selection of leadership isn’t always the same.

In our lifetimes, we’ve not had anyone under their 50s. And there seems to be a general trend towards popes with known and proven ranges of belief about the major issues that the church aristocracy deems important.

To me, that points to selection excluding younger candidates because it’s hard to have a reasonable certainty about a candidate’s specific beliefs on a given issue until they’ve had time to show their beliefs, or speak about them consistently. However, that assumes all the Cardinals are acting in good faith, with the pun being both intentional and relevant.

I think it can be safely argued that the popes of the last fifty years have been compromise picks. Fairly conservative in most things, but with outlying stances that move away from established practice. And I use conservative not in the standard political way, but with it being more about “conserving” established dogma and policies within the church. That those policies match other uses of conservative is true, but one doesn’t have to follow the other.

When a candidate is a compromise it tends to end up where the need for a body of reputation and history is even more important during negotiations and arguments about who to elect, so it would make sense that age would be a factor because of that.

But even all of those conclusions are speculation, it just includes the reasoning for that speculation.

After a bit of cleanup, yeah, no big deal.

Back in the days where condoms were almost always used, it was even a fairly common thing, assuming the specific partner wanted more activity. Not everyone does. I personally can’t handle that much stimulation post ejaculation, but can when I orgasm without ejaculation. So it was less common for me to be up for it (pun intended) afterwards.

My thing is that I’m not going to lap up my own semen, and most lubricants in condoms taste horrible. So a warm washcloth is a great thing to keep handy. See, even if everyone involved is going to be done after a single orgasm, baby wipes aren’t always the best choice (and that’s ignoring environmental concerns about them). But a nice, warm washcloth is going to do the job of cleanup well no matter who you are and what sensitivity your skin has to chemicals.

It would be harder to ensure one is available with a random partner, especially at their place. And it definitely kills spontaneity most of the time. But it is the best overall.

So, you grab your washcloth/s, clean up, and dive in face first.

Now, because it’s the internet, let me be clear that of someone does want to lap up their own semen, have at it, I ain’t mad. It’s just not something I do. Don’t like it at all, and having done it a couple of times waaaaay back in the day, it isn’t just some kind of arbitrary thing or a mental block.