haha this reminds me of a pair of flip-flops my wife had. They were left in the car, and one of them somehow ended up in the back window where it got super-heated by the sun. It was curled up and half the size of its mate when I found it. Couldn’t tell you what they were made of…
I literally just learned this in a Ted talk that youtube fed me yesterday or the day before. Here’s a fantastic example of that smirk.
I had an earth science teacher that would let us bring in one 3X5 card of notes for our tests, and I would spend an hour or so transcribing all my notes into small print front and back, then go in and ace the test without ever needing them. Just recopying it all was enough.
CT scans every 4 months… probably gonna get another nodule in my left lung nuked at some point. Hoping maybe the distended aorta that showed in my last scan takes me out quick so I can bypass all the misery of my advancing emphysema or the lung cancer possibly spreading. Aside from that, I’m just going to enjoy my family. Got three grandkids that are a real hoot right now. Counting my blessings is pretty much the priority…
About 1984, I got arrested in Cobb County Georgia for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had a little weed on me, which I had shoved into my skivvies before I was handcuffed. While in the holding cell at the jailhouse with a few other new arrivals, I decided I needed to get rid of it before I got processed in and sent upstairs, so I broke it out and surprised my temporary cellmates with a little treat in a home-made pipe fashioned from the foil out of a cigarette pack. It was cool. If nothing else, the 4 or 5 of us were a little less stressed about our current situation. One of the guys in the cell with me was especially memorable, because he had been arrested for drunk driving while he was at a lake partying with his friends, all because his keys were in the ignition so they could listen to his radio. He wasn’t even in the car when the cops showed up.
Fast forward about 2 or 3 years and I’m back home in the Florida panhandle. At that time, I drove a cab for a living and one evening I was out with a fellow cabby hitting up some titty bars and stuff. We’re driving in his car, and I told him the story I just told y’all, down to the details about the poor guy and his DUI. About the time I finish the story, we’re stopping at a gas station for cigarettes or something, and we get out of the car to go inside and out front of the store are two scroungy looking dudes selling clumps of mistletoe (it was near Christmas time). I’ll be damned if one of those guys wasn’t the exact same guy in my story. I recognized him immediately and about crapped myself and was like “Holy shit this is the guy!!” He totally remembered me, and we had a fun little mini-reunion of sorts during which he totally confirmed my story about smoking weed in a jail cell to my friend…
oh for real… I’ve always wanted to ask them what they thought the underside looked like. I picture their simple minds imagining something like loose dirt clods falling off and maybe some roots and shit sticking out like I would have when I was a kid…
got lung cancer… only found it because it had eroded into rib #5 and felt like I had a flaming hatchet stuck in my back. This explains why pacing my den while streaming profanities seemed to help, at least a little anyway…
I do elearning multimedia and run in to AI schlock all the time and hate it. With the background and soft-focus I can see why you thought what you did. While AI would have done good with the dog’s face etc, details like the leash clasp would have probably been just poorly defined shapes or complete nonsense. That’s the stuff I key in on…
Ha! I came to post this! I’ve LMAO’d at every comedian I’ve seen on that channel!
I had an '82 Ford Escort. Those things were notorious for lunching the motor if the timing belt ever broke (which they did every 45,000 miles like clockwork) while you were traveling down the road. The valves would stop in whatever position they were in at that instant, and then the momentum of the car would keep the pistons moving up and down, bashing the piston tops in to whichever valves were unlucky enough to still be open, ruining pretty-much everything. At the same time I owned that car, my best friend owned an '82 Chevy Cavalier. We were constantly one-upping each other over who owned the biggest turd…
Back in about '89-'90 I was the assistant manager at a fast oil change place, and we had a regular customer with a maroon '76 Aspen with a bullet-proof slant-six who got his oil changed with us regularly. I could hear him coming. I’d know it was him without even looking because of the distinctive TAP-TAP-TAP -TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP. We’d pull him in and he’d tell us to just change the oil and filter and don’t bother checking all that other stuff, so that’s what we’d do. We’d pull the plug and if more than a half a quart drained out we’d be surprised. After a filter swap, we’d fill it back up and restart it and it would go TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-tap-tap-tap-ta-ta-ta-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- etc and he’d smile and pay and be on his way. Of course, we’d see him again in about 3 or 4 months, same thing, rinse and repeat. The tapping was his signal to get it changed. Fast forward to '97, after working as a manager at other locations I came back to that same station as the manager there and I’ll be damned if that same guy in that same '76 Aspen didn’t pull in for the same service with that same oil-leaking loud-ass tapping slant-six, still hanging in there…
Coincidentally, I just caught that for the first time this weekend when this song came on the radio while traveling with my wife and daughter. I knew she was Maya’s mom, but I had never noticed her singing her name before hearing it again yesterday…
I knew some folks that used to own a “dented can” grocery store named Dirt Cheap Grocery. They would find all sorts of deals on entire lots of nearly expired canned and frozen goods and what ever various other things they could find through their various connections. There would always be something different, and they would have some pretty incredible deals sometimes. I remember buying an entire case of frozen hash brown patties for $5. There were six 5 lb bags in there. we split it up with my wife’s sisters families. Another time they had those Michelina’s frozen pasta dishes that had just expired for 10 for $1. My favorite deodorant scent had been recently discontinued and they just so happened to get a hold of a big display bin full of hundreds of them and sold them for $1 a piece. It took me several years before I finally ran out…
We came home one evening and discovered our 10lb wiener-pinscher had eaten a whole dish of Dove dark Chocolates while we were away. Easily a couple of dozen pieces… All that was left were little bits of foil wrappers all over the floor where he attempted to peel each one open. I’da really liked to have seen how he was doing that. We just knew he was fixin’ to die. Aside from looking guilty as hell, he showed zero signs of any ill effects. There’s no telling how much of the foil wrappers he ate either…
They taste just like those little wooden spoons we’d get with our ice cream cups
That one has to be my favorite death scene of the whole series. That show was sooo good…
I once met a 32 year old lady holding her 1 year old grandson. She told me she had her daughter at 16 and her daughter had to out-do her and have her baby at 15. At the time, I was her age with my own small children…
On another note. I was close friends with a fellow who was the youngest of 10 kids from the same mother and 2 different fathers. Her first 8 kids were fathered by a man who died in the 1940’s. She ended up with another man and had 2 more sons, one born in 1958 and then my friend in 1962. She was in her 50’s when she had him! Unsurprisingly, my friend was orphaned by the age of 12 and ended up being raised by his older siblings along side nieces and nephews who were often times older than he was.