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So my mother is an old-school feminist. Part of the women’s army core back when that was a thing, a STEM graduate and worker in the 80’s. She’s seen some shit.
What she says about the feminist movement (and having been in three relationships now with men I agree) is that it advanced women, but men didn’t step up. Women became able to do it all, childcare, homemaking, AND working and even breadwinning. Many men took this not as an opportunity to step up and do more themselves, but as an opportunity to do less. They just let women do 50% of the work now, plus 100% of the housework. So modern women average out to doing like 75% of the work!
I can confirm that this was present in 2/3 of my relationships with men. The men involved were practically children I had to care for. They would do some work but would then spend the money on themselves and maybe give me some of it to make sure the bills got paid. They did nothing to clean or maintain the area around them. They did nothing to ensure the laundry got done or that decent food got made. Both of them I had to encourage to clean themselves. They spent the rest of their time playing video games. Sometimes for 16 hours a day if I didn’t “harass” them. I suppose I’m glad I had teenagers with part time jobs instead of something more akin to toddlers but either way they were confused when my attraction to them rapidly vanished due to their childlike behavior. I now have an actual grown man who is comfortable completing household tasks, perhaps even moreso than me. This is fine by me, as I am much more comfortable working 48+ weeks outside the home if needed.
I cannot speak to what branding would make this palatable to men, but I hope you find some way of encouraging them to see cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry, as general adult tasks instead of women’s ones. Please. For all of our sakes.
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