I’m a 27 year old single mom with a 12 year old son (Yes I had him at 15). Ever since I left my abusive relationship with his father, he hasn’t had a male figure around, and I haven’t really had a full on discussion about him about puberty or hygiene/shaving down there. I think he’d probably be most comfortable discussing these things with me even as his mom compared to his grandfather or my brother/his uncle, just because of how much closer we are. I’ve done some research online about male puberty, hormones, and hygiene for uncircumcised boys, but how do I approach having this conversation with him without making him uncomfortable and what else should I talk to him about?
There’s a series of books by Robie H. Harris that explain biology and sexuality for kids in very frank, plain language. They’re excellent especially because it doesn’t sugar-coat things or use euphemisms.
For his age the title is It’s Perfectly Normal (Wikipedia).
It talks about AIDS, abortion, homosexuality and, I think, even anal sex in a way that is plain and factual. Read it by yourself, first, so you’re prepared for what’s inside.
I highly recommend that you read it together. It might be awkward but it’s good to demystify and de-stigmatize these subjects. It may help him be willing to talk to you about these issues as they come up.
I think this is key, to accept that it might feel awkward. Wish someone had normalized the utility of masturbation to me