ok, so, i can masturbate some of the time. i feel in the mood to masturbate, all that. the thing is, it’s very rare and it’s only to fictional men or fantasies of hot women. i can’t really masturbate to IRL women and definitely not men.

i have a very low sex drive, i guess, and i suddenly don’t want to masturbate after a while when some other people could easily keep going for multiple “rounds”. it’s especially moreso the feeling of masturbating rather than feeling horny for any particular reason, even if the few times i do, it’s for the idea of these women or fictional men.

i could imagine having sex with my partner when i get one to try it, but i don’t actually feel sexual attraction to people when i can easily feel romantic attraction. i literally don’t get any sort of tingly feeling, nothing, when i see people.

  • Maaji@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
    3·
    18 days ago

    This is going to be a bit rambly, and I apologize up front, but this is my experience of asexuality.

    For much of my life (and I’m somewhat old) I didn’t really consider myself asexual. It was relatively recently that I saw a video about a couple of different perspectives of asexuality, and one perspective that I found relatable was roughly this:

    For some people, asexuality is an attraction model that isn’t really centered on people, i.e. you don’t necessarily find people (physically) attractive, you may find attraction focused on other things, such as events, scenarios/situations, or connection.

    Hearing this and looking back, there are a few things that stood out:

    • When I was in a long-term relationship, my partner was quite frustrated with my lack of sex drive. I wasn’t uninterested, but sex to me was more of an academic curiosity; I would read about sex on forums like early Reddit, see what people liked, and I enjoyed doing and trying things that made them react, but the act itself didn’t mean a lot to me.
    • I never really got into “regular” porn, but really enjoyed drawn stuff, especially if it depicted something unusual (certain scenarios, etc )
    • I eventually got a bit into visual novels, and later other porn games, enough so that I volunteered to mod for the Reddit lewdgames subreddit, and run the c/lewdgames community here as well.

    I’ve never been “sex-repulsed” like the other poster mentioned, but I’ve also never felt like my attraction model was appropriately described by other terms. I’ve adopted asexual, and I feel like it fits better than most, even though I’m still reasonably involved in porn communities.