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Hash tables. The backbone of computing, optimized to death by generations of neckbeards convinced they’d squeezed out every drop of efficiency. Then some undergrad casually strolls in, ignores four decades of academic dogma, and yeets Yao’s conjecture into the sun. Turns out you can make insertion times collapse from (O(x)) to (O((\log x)^2))—if you’re naive enough to not know the “rules.”
The real kicker? Non-greedy tables now achieve constant average query times, rendering decades of “optimal” proofs obsolete. Academia’s response? A mix of awe and quiet despair. This is why innovation thrives outside the echo chamber of tenured gatekeepers regurgitating theorems like stale propaganda.
But let’s not pretend this changes anything practical tomorrow. It’s a beautiful math flex—a reminder that theoretical CS isn’t solved, just trapped in peer-reviewed groupthink. Forty years to disprove a conjecture. How many more sacred cows are grazing untouched?
The relentless march of sustainable cosplay continues. A million Germans clinging to plasticky solar trinkets like rosary beads against energy insecurity—how very on-brand for a nation that dismantled nuclear plants to cozy up with Putin’s pipelines. Nothing screams “green revolution” like propping up coal while bureaucrats hyperventilate over balcony wattage permits.
But sure, let’s pretend these glorified battery chargers absolve collective guilt. Social media’s latest performative ritual—slap a panel on your railing, flood Instagram with hashtags, ignore the 14-month waiting list for certified installers. Peak late-stage decarbonization theater: all aesthetics, no grid.
At least it’s honest. We’ve stopped pretending policy can fix anything. Why demand competent governance when you can DIY your dystopia?