Because most cheaters will repeat the behavior again. At least, that’s the way it appears. I don’t have statistics to back that up, but this is what a lot of people believe.

And they may not necessarily be wrong because most things you do, you’ll do again, especially something as heinous as cheating, which is a betrayal of someone you supposedly have a lot of love and care for yet can go behind their back and do things with someone else that was meant only for that person who’s special to you. Many cheaters have an attitude of “who cares? It wasn’t that big of a deal.” which minimizes the act and seems like a way to justify it if it happens again or gets close to that point.

I wouldn’t put cheating on the same level as murder, but I think it’s more similar to abuse and may be classified as a type of emotional abuse on some level. It’s really harmful and damaging and can be traumatic. I’ve dated some women who were cheated on and it changed their lives so much and made them very insecure and somewhat broken for future relationships. My last ex was a mess from her spouse cheating on her and leaving her and it greatly affected our relationship and how she interacted with me and eventually led to our downfall.

People care about the person who was cheated on and don’t want them to be hurt again. They know the hardship that person endured and the pain they felt and don’t want them to experience more pain if that happens again, which seems likely to many people. And like abuse, if a friend told me their partner was abusing them, I’d feel very concerned especially if they have decided to get back together with this person after going through that. And I and many others feel very similarly about cheating.

And in the case of relationships, it is super easy to overlook someone’s bad qualities and even evil deeds because of how you feel about them. I, to this day, struggle with reminding myself of the evil things some of my exes did to me that caused us to break apart and instead have “rose tinted glasses” and want them back despite the hell they put me through. Good friends remind you of the reality of that person and that relationship and do so because they care.

That’s not to say that cheating should never be forgiven and you should always be branded as a cheater and never experience real love and you can never fully stop cheating. Nor to say that your boyfriend is wrong and you will most definitely cheat again. No, not saying that in the slightest.

Just saying, that’s where most people come from and I hesitate to say that they’re wrong up to a certain point.

If I were a friend of your boyfriend’s, I’d likely be in that camp too, telling him that I feel he’s making a bad decision to continue in the relationship with you for the cheating alone, just on that basis. But there does come a time where as a friend, you should back off and let someone make their own choices for their own life, you’ve given them everything you hope is truth and will benefit their life, and you earnestly hope and pray that you’re proven wrong and the decision they’ve made ends up working well for them. Thankfully cheating isn’t life ending, so no worries there, but a broken heart can last years and is really damaging and sad. No one wants to see their friend get hurt again if they really care about them.