Yeah, I’ve been suicidal a few times. There’s a hole in my bedroom roof to prove it. Leaks sometimes, think I finally got it patched. A 12-gauge makes a hella hole at short range!

All I got is this, you never know what’s coming next. Boy could I tell you tales about that! Besides, suicide is always an option later. You’re going to be inert matter soon enough, what’s the rush?

You should relax and read Kurt Vonnegut’s Galápagos. It’s about how our big brains are so overpowered they’re ridiculous and worse than useless. In one scene a woman is about to kill herself “because her big brain told her to”. She didn’t and was eaten by a great white 30-years later. So it goes. It’s pretty funny, absurd and thought provoking. (Want an epub? Kurt would have been thrilled for me to share it with you.)

I know this isn’t the time for practical advice, but do you have any proof you paid her? The court will shit kittens if you can prove she’s lying. They have no sense of humor about such things. As far as her fucking with you about custody, got my kids back after many years of my wife keeping them from me. They’re here for the summer! The judge handed my ex her ass so hard I’ve been trying to get the transcript to laugh about with my new wife. Whew! Talk about a humorous judge!