There is a difference between looking/noticing and staring in my opinion.
It is also important to think about how choices over what one wears are driven by many factors, not just a desire to have people look at you. I think many women (especially younger women) have been made to feel that they must wear revealing clothing to fit in or be cool, so it isn’t really so simple as just an invitation for men to stare.
As for why men should not stare, it is because the male gaze (everyone’s gaze really) has power and affects people’s emotions, and it is worthwhile to care about how other people feel and not do something that would make a large portion of people feel uncomfortable such as staring at someone’s cleavage. Basically, it is impolite.
Sadly, my peripheral vision is garbage. But still, I don’t stare.
Well, I do stare, but that’s because I’m dissociating down an ADHD train of thought completely unrelated to the person who happens to be in my line of sight at the time, not actually looking at anything.
Try moving your vision, not your eye, to the bottom when it’s dark. You can learn to see in the dark pretty easily, and with practice you can focus and split your attention within your field of vision
Is there? The only thing considered weird is staring at people who you are not having a conversation with. People can stare at shoes and check them out. People stare at everything other people mean to show off. Clothes exist to hide the things people do not want to show.
So if women want to wear clothes showing off their breasts then I am quite certain they want people to look at those breasts. So then why should people suddenly not look at them?
Well, yeah. Complimenting someones biceps is also a fairly normal thing to do. But not breasts One is sexual. The other is not. The more sexual the compliment gets the more inappropriate. Further reinforcing the point that breasts are sexual.
Of course everyone knows they are sexual. Making this whole dance around the subject a bit ridiculous.
I’m not really sure what point you’re trying to make, staring at someone’s bicep is also creepy. No-one’s saying “you may not ever look at breasts” the staring is the issue.
As a man, when l run shirtless it’s not because I want to show off my chest, it’s because I’m hot and it’s practical. Depending on the temperature in and around the workplace, something with less coverage may be more comfortable.
Yes, there is a difference between staring and looking, in so far as those terms are commonly used in american english:
From Oxford Languages via Google:
Stare: look fixedly or vacantly at someone or something with one’s eyes wide open
Look: direct one’s gaze toward someone or something or in a specified direction
So “staring” means looking fixedly or vacantly. This takes “looking” to a different place because it implies your thoughts are lingering on the thing you are staring at, which in the case of cleavage would be sexually suggestive (and therefore could make someone uncomfortable). It’s not too far off from catcalling in my opinion. It is much less sexually suggestive to stare at someone’s shoes or a cool hat, so clearly the context of staring is important as to whether it is offensive.
Also, you seem to have missed an important part of my earlier response:
It is also important to think about how choices over what one wears are driven by many factors, not just a desire to have people look at you. I think many women (especially younger women) have been made to feel that they must wear revealing clothing to fit in or be cool, so it isn’t really so simple as just an invitation for men to stare.
This is why I don’t think that it is accurate to say:
So if women want to wear clothes showing off their breasts then I am quite certain they want people to look at those breasts.
There is a difference between looking/noticing and staring in my opinion.
It is also important to think about how choices over what one wears are driven by many factors, not just a desire to have people look at you. I think many women (especially younger women) have been made to feel that they must wear revealing clothing to fit in or be cool, so it isn’t really so simple as just an invitation for men to stare.
As for why men should not stare, it is because the male gaze (everyone’s gaze really) has power and affects people’s emotions, and it is worthwhile to care about how other people feel and not do something that would make a large portion of people feel uncomfortable such as staring at someone’s cleavage. Basically, it is impolite.
Inb4 the difference between glancing and staring is how attractive the guy is
It’s really not. It’s the amount of time and frequency, and also how much you’re treating them like a person
And does no one else know how to look out the corner of your eye?
Sadly, my peripheral vision is garbage. But still, I don’t stare.
Well, I do stare, but that’s because I’m dissociating down an ADHD train of thought completely unrelated to the person who happens to be in my line of sight at the time, not actually looking at anything.
That would be the staring vacantly part of the description above, I think?
Try moving your vision, not your eye, to the bottom when it’s dark. You can learn to see in the dark pretty easily, and with practice you can focus and split your attention within your field of vision
It’s actually a degenerative eye condition called cone-rod dystrophy. My night vision is also garbage because of it.
Is there? The only thing considered weird is staring at people who you are not having a conversation with. People can stare at shoes and check them out. People stare at everything other people mean to show off. Clothes exist to hide the things people do not want to show.
So if women want to wear clothes showing off their breasts then I am quite certain they want people to look at those breasts. So then why should people suddenly not look at them?
I’m curious about your shoe example. I would feel perfectly comfortable complimenting someone’s shoes and asking about them, for example:
“I love your shoes, those stripes on the side are funky, where did you get them?” Seems like a relatively normal conversation.
However, “I love your tits, the way your nips poke out is awesome, were you born with them?” Seems inappropriate.
Do you not see any distinction here?
Well, yeah. Complimenting someones biceps is also a fairly normal thing to do. But not breasts One is sexual. The other is not. The more sexual the compliment gets the more inappropriate. Further reinforcing the point that breasts are sexual.
Of course everyone knows they are sexual. Making this whole dance around the subject a bit ridiculous.
I’m not really sure what point you’re trying to make, staring at someone’s bicep is also creepy. No-one’s saying “you may not ever look at breasts” the staring is the issue.
As a man, when l run shirtless it’s not because I want to show off my chest, it’s because I’m hot and it’s practical. Depending on the temperature in and around the workplace, something with less coverage may be more comfortable.
Yes, there is a difference between staring and looking, in so far as those terms are commonly used in american english:
From Oxford Languages via Google: Stare: look fixedly or vacantly at someone or something with one’s eyes wide open Look: direct one’s gaze toward someone or something or in a specified direction So “staring” means looking fixedly or vacantly. This takes “looking” to a different place because it implies your thoughts are lingering on the thing you are staring at, which in the case of cleavage would be sexually suggestive (and therefore could make someone uncomfortable). It’s not too far off from catcalling in my opinion. It is much less sexually suggestive to stare at someone’s shoes or a cool hat, so clearly the context of staring is important as to whether it is offensive.
Also, you seem to have missed an important part of my earlier response:
This is why I don’t think that it is accurate to say:
Well, they want certain people to stare at thier breasts, not others.