My child is being punched at kindergarten by a girl who also continually does things to him. For example, putting soap on his chair, messing with his outdoor clothes, etc.
The teachers know and have talked to the girl’s parents, but the behavior continues. My child is scared to go and cries about it sometimes. I’m not entirely sure how to handle it, because that’s the teachers job and I’m not there to help or see it.
Eventually, I’m considering involving the police, but that seems pretty last resort.
Any suggestions?
Edit
The director and teachers are all aware of the issues
Based on what I’ve read here, I think that’s been tried and doesn’t work. Until it does, that four year old gets to go out in the world with fear, with the adults around seeming to be unable or unwilling to help.
When my kids were younger, and had these very same troubles, I told them what I was doing that they might not have been able to see, and that they shouldn’t start a fight but they had every right to finish one, and that I’d stand behind them if it came to that.
Just having the confidence that they could defend themselves in the moment helped a lot.
Sending a 4 year old out with the message that they can alleviate their fear by being violent only breeds more violence.
I wish I lived in the ideal world that you live in.
If they were 12 you might have a point, but at 5 kids are still malleable enough that teaching nonviolent conflict resolution is realistic and can have lasting impact
I previously mentioned that that’s not working. Or if it’s “going to take time” , the kid is getting punched on the regular until then.
Yes, kids should learn to seek nonviolent solutions. They should also be taught not to allow other people to abuse them. Stopping or preventing such abuse may well require the judicious use of violence or the legitimate threat of it.
I agree with your overall point about bullying, but you have to consider childhood development and the differing reasons that children at different ages resort to violence in the first place. At 5, the cause of the violence is more likely to be emotional deregulation and lack of impulse control - that doesn’t mean it should be allowed to continue, but there are realistic options for how to shut it down that don’t exist in the same way as with older kids.
The world where girls and women are raped at extremely high rates by men? By violent men? By men that are taught that they can restore their pride and self-esteem by enacting violence on others?
Yeah, come live in this world with me.
I’ve never said anything about gender here.
The original commentator that you’re defending did.
Okay so let’s imagine it was a four year old girl getting bullied by a five year old boy. My position would be the same.
She shouldn’t be taught to hit back either! They’re 4 years old
Again, in an ideal world you would be right. But that’s not the world we live in. Yes, seek nonviolent solutions first. But pacifism only tells the bad people that they can abuse you with impunity.
Which is exactly what’s happening.