So my immediate family has been very avoidant of my girlfriend of nearly 6 years

I wanted her to come to a family Christmas consisting of me, my mom, my dad, and my brother

My mom was strongly against it. Since my mom has a history of this my gf really wanted me to give her the ultimatum of she comes or neither of us come

I really don’t want to rock the boat because well I want to have Christmas and I’m also going on a several day road trip with them and I really don’t want to have that on top of everything else And of course my mom guilt tripped me a bunch too cause she’s been dealing with her own flurry of problems

As I’m writing this I’m leaning towards standing up for my gf I’m just really frustrated and honesty just wanted to vent

I’m mostly just don’t want to ruin Christmas and I just overall feel like I’m being a problem

  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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    6 days ago

    I feel like everything hinges on why your family is avoidant. Have they given a reason? It’s at least worth considering that maybe there are some serious red flags you’re ignoring. It may be prudent to talk to friends who know your girlfriend to see if they can corroborate any issues you might be blind to, and if these are serious issues it may well be worth reconsidering the relationship.

    On the other hand, it could just be something petty, like race or class bigotry. If that’s the case, you just have to make a stand. If you’re serious about her, this will have to come to a resolution sooner or later.

    But it’s really impossible to give sweeping advice without knowing the reason.