Kids suck a lot of the time. All parents are forbidden to express their frustrations without being judged harshly. Being a parent doesn’t make you a perfect person with infinite patience and the expectation that it should needs to die.

When it comes to kids, you don’t want to over-praise them. Don’t call them “smart” or they’ll assume that means they have “natural ability” or whatever and get lazy, and then they fall behind and feel “dumb.” Instead of that, focus on the effort involved.

So I wouldn’t tell my kids they are “gifted artists” or “a wonderful person” because that discounts the effort they put in to get to that point. Instead, I’ll say they are a “diligent artist” or “a thoughtful person” because those are actionable; to get better at art, they need to spend more time doing art, and to become a nicer person, they need to think of others’ needs more. Be very careful that the words you use to describe a child motivate them to do better, rather than plateau.

At least that’s my philosophy, and it seems to be working. My oldest two are at the top of their respective classes and way beyond their grade level, but I never call them smart, I instead focus on their diligence. If they’re not working hard but still getting good grades (like I did as a kid), then I’ll find out why and find a way to challenge them.