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Probably posting this right as this thread is about to get removed but doesn’t matter, just need a place to park this comment. And I think it’s mental health related.
Kinda thinking of stepping away from this place until there’s more of a crowd to disappear to. A lot of people talk about how it’s nice to see familiar faces around and I definitely agree. But also, I feel a little exposed and stupid in a smaller crowd way too often as well. And that’s not the crowd, that’s a me problem.
But I wish it were a little bigger and a little busier here. I felt stupid and did less cringing at dumb shitposts when I was just another comment out of a couple hundred. One on one conversations felt easier when that conversation was just a thread in a busy post and not 90% of the post. And on a bigger and busier platform you can go through your highs and lows without feeling like you need to fake your own death and start over after a bad day.
So I’m in two minds about all of this right now. I do get a lot of joy from this place and a lot of people here. But small towns have their draw backs too.
AGH, I feel that…
I’m a sensitive person. When I see people dislike what I say or get angry at me; it hurts, since 5/10 I know and respect them, and esually my mind strays to stuff like “they hate me forever now. I should just delete my account” additionally, harassment on Lemmy is more widespread. I get lots. It wasn’t the same as reddit.
GL, I liked your comments here; but well all be waiting for this platform to become bigger:)
Thanks, you’re also one of the people I enjoy seeing around here.
I think it is probably partially feelings of “they hate me now” but also self hate. The one who can’t stand having me around the most sometimes is me. And being emo and shit isn’t exactly a likeable trait either lol.
As I said, I’m in two minds though. Maybe I wake up in the morning feeling better or maybe I wake up and delete this app, at least until I’ve got my shit together.
Thanks for listening and responding, you’re honestly too kind.
No weed, very little beer for most of the week. Had a job interview at a place that I love. I think it went well but I don’t want to jinx it. Part time, and I’ll be back to 50 hour work weeks with that and the second job likely, but both positions are things that don’t make me miserable.
Everything would be fine, tbh, if my billionaire ex husband hadn’t maxed out my credit cards before kicking me out two years ago.
oh fuck you just reminded me, this thread is stale already lol, thanks. Congrats on the interview! I hope you get the job.
Everything would be fine, tbh, if my billionaire ex husband hadn’t maxed out my credit cards before kicking me out two years ago.
Jesus that guy sucks. I’ve never directly talked to someone married to one, they really are that petty huh lol. Sorry about that, fuck him.
Alive and ok.
Glad to hear :)
Really going to attempt to un-dysfunction my eating habits this weekend. Depression completely screwed up when I eat, how much I am eating, and what I eat such that I basically go days without eating anything but bread or cookies every 12 hours and then struggle with my mood and energy predictably crashing. I used to do just fine feeding myself but it’s like I somehow lost this skill.
Good luck with that :) my eating is shit too lol. You’re inspiring me to fix it too.
I wish you the best of luck! My plan is to use these weekly threads for accountability. I think it will help me stay on track.
I go brrrrr.
