I’d recommend considering adopting, if you don’t mind me saying so. More paperwork sure, but way less pain for you or your partner, and they’re really usually perfectly good kids. My neice, nephew, and cousin are all adopted, and they’re no less a part of the family than anyone else.

It makes a world of difference to a child that already exists, and you spare the unborn the existential crises our world is facing- huge win-win.