Oh shit…That means I gotta deal with the mods I installed!!! Reaaaaally regretting some of them right about now…

distant Randy Savage noises

OH YEEAAAHHHH!!!

Then there’s me.

“Twitter had a premium service??? What the hell would it even do??? I thought they abandoned the blue check mark thing.”

He looks like how we all feel about the holidays.

“Look. I love you guys. You’re my family and all…but the holiday season is just the WORST! December is exausting, and this is my face after dealing with 30+ days of bullshit. But yes, it’s Christmas day. I’m happy to see you. Have some cookies. Try the cheese platter. Just know that I’ll be even happier when this is all over.”

“HOLY SHIT!!! DOGS CAN TALK NOW???”

“Woof! Woof!”

“Nice try, Mr. Ed!”

“Mr. Ed was a horse, of coarse of coarse! And don’t you think that reference will be lost on everyone under 30? Even 30-50 is iffy.”

“AH-HA! CAUGHT YOU TALKING!”

“Shit.”

YOU MUST WHIP IT!

Jurassic Park: Hey, zoo’s usually put the dangerous animals in huge pitts. Like lions are put in this massive open space that’s sunk 200 feet down and surrounded by a wooden wall, with glass panes to look through. Think we should make the T-Rex paddock like that?

Fuck no! We’re going to put this 20 foot tall beast inside a tiny paddock that’s only secured by electrical wires. Controlled by an IT system of 1 guy. With no backup electric generator. Spared ALL the expenses!

I’m going to tell my grandchildren that these were the Gen 1 pokemon in the 90s.

Thank god fish aren’t into cash…

Wasn’t Annie always singing about tomorrow?

I mean it exists…that part is true.

Might want to think twice. The liberal party (current party in power) is falling apart, and the populist conservatives are looking like they’ll win the next election with a majority unless something changes significantly.

You think that scares us??? We’re a month away from signing trump into office…again…

Look man. Of all the reasons for me to move to Canada, better youtube playback is pretty low on my list.

If anything, I would move there because of daily gun violence, an insane society here among the general public, authoritarian laws being passed in the name of freedom, life crippling medical costs, an insane political environment, police brutality, California can best be described as “on fire” most years, and corporate ownership pf our citizens among other reasons.

But…certainly not for youtube playback.

What I’m trying to say is…

PLEASE LET ME INTO CANADA!!! YOUR COUNTRY SOUNDS AMAZING, ASIDE FROM THE GEESE!!!

For thise without the F keys…

…well what am I supposed to do with all these foot toasted slim jims???

I said biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!

Friendly reminder. THIS is the type of bullshit the boomers grew up with, and see nothing wrong with.

But a 16 year old at Walgreens working register needing to call for a manager to sell cigerettes because she legally can’t? Well that teenager is clearly what’s wrong with society!

Plot twist. The dead guy in the last panel is the murderer, and he’s just faked his own death. Thus getting away consequence free after murdering 499 people.

You forgot the several hour old pizza that’s sitting on the makeshift “table” which is really just 4 milk crates stacked that everyone has, but only seemingly uses when they move.

…and how DID we get them anyways???

…I just want to hug you for all eternity.

Beer is expensive, and gives you colon cancer.

Me: "I should upload a series of daily videos where I speak exclusively jibberish, while doing insane movements/“dances”

“USHNXMBXSGJLOCXRH OJCSSIKBFHHFDUKFSYKM TKJFSTJVDDJVCDIBCF”

meanwhile doing hip thrusts and cartwheels simutaniously while my neighbor below bangs on their ceiling with a broom