That’s fucking bad ass!

You think they’ll pray when the masses eventually drag them out of the chambers?

Don’t forget THA GOOD SHIP MERRY GULL!

I have vivid memories of desperately trying to tell my dad that All That was just SNL but with kids, and it was hilarious. Now my five-year-old has found the All That reboot on YouTube, and I feel the pain that my father had felt.

My brother is one of the more intelligent and scientifically-minded people I know, but I’ll never forget the time we went to the Detroit Institute of Arts and he got yelled at for touching too many exhibits.

“This!”

“Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!”

Why do they have to say the things? People don’t say the things here.

Hey, I had an old internet girlfriend from Beaverton… She turned out to be a bit of whore, but I didn’t know it at the time because I didn’t live in Beaverton. Probably every day knowledge around Beaverton.

I’m loosely pagan on a spiritual level and I vibe a lot with druidism and many of the things that witches do, but as much as I enjoy the culture, I never fail to cringe over the collective hubris of self-proclaimed witches. It’s always the edgiest 30-45 year old women who wear House of 1000 Corpses t-shirts and extreme amounts of eye shadow, who post “Proud Bitch” memes on social media and exude an undeserved air of confidence because they believe so deeply their spells are real.

While I admit that Wicca is quite beautiful and largely misunderstood, the things most witches/hexers are practicing only date back a few decades. They’re not speaking the ancient magicks or communing with old gods. I can’t speak much on the divine feminine because I’m not informed enough on that subject, but for the other half of their belief system they have taken the rather ambiguous depiction of Cernunnos and turned him into a sexy, big-dicked goat man, and have fabricated their own lore to explain the workings of something that is in reality unfathomably old and lost to man, with no surviving origin story and little to no oral tradition.

We can certainly make some educated guesses, but the bulk of that information died with the druids.

It’s available in Canada, but I’m not sure about the UK. The large Italian sausages come in mild or spicy. We’re not particularly big fans of the spicy variety, but mild is excellent. Not sure how they managed to simulate the somewhat dry and chunky inside of a pork sausage so well. There are also Beyond Breakfast Sausages, but I haven’t tried them yet.

Couldn’t agree with you more! I absolutely love Beyond Meat products. My wife is a life-long vegetarian, and she’s the reason I consume 90% less meat than I used to. It’s equal parts idealogy and convenience. It got really annoying having to constantly cook up my own seperate portions for dinner. I kind of liked her veggie alternatives, albeit lacking in previous years, but then Beyond Meat dropped and completely changed the game. Now I prefer Beyond Beef over real beef. It’s cleaner, it tastes better, doesn’t have to be seasoned, and I’m not taking something’s life from it because I wanted to taste it in my mouth.

Beyond Sausage has also been perfected recently, and I eat a lot of those. I find the newest formula to be indistinguishable from real Italian sausages. And as a bonus, I manage at a grocery store, so I can order in those Gardein Supreme Chick’n fillets/nuggets, or the Gardein Seven-Grain Tenders and purchase them at cost. Saves us a fortune.

Any other suggestions? Plenty of room in my freezer!

I just spent ten minutes trying to figure out what the cutest breed of cow is, and just wound up feeling awful about the already miniscule amount of beef I still consume. Thinking it’s time to call it quits entirely.

Thank you! Genuinely, that means a lot to hear. I’ve never heard anyone compliment my prose, but it’s something I value a lot in other literature, and have a hard time getting into novels that are lacking it.

I’ve been wanting/trying to write a fiction book for years, but I have a horrible habit of knocking out a few pages and then getting into my own head and picking apart my work. I’ll end up reworking it sentence by sentence until I hate whatever’s left. Your nice comment makes me want to try again. All the best to you!

My kid is the only one in the cul-de-sac with Minecraft. We have quite the popular couch this month.

Thanks! Very kind of you to say.

Ah, the old Coon Hill Rd. special. Grew up near a wooded country road that was full of trash like this. People apparently came from all around the township to dump their trash and furniture up and down this road, and the county never bothered to clean it up. My family was never down with that, but my dad used to catch possums in his livetraps and relocate them on this exact road. I guess he didn’t know how beneficial it was to have possums around. Coon Hill may have been lined with trash, but it was likely 100% tick free.

I had to do a school project once where we took disposal cameras and snapped photos of things that we found beautiful, and things we found ugly. I knocked out almost all of the ugly ones just on Coon Hill, but I did snap a few beautiful ones off the beaten path a bit. It was in the dead of winter and mostly snow and rotting vegetation, but beautiful enough at the right time of day. There was a duality down Coon Hill.

I swear I wasn’t a redneck, but it sure sounds like it.

Every now and then I just save the German memes and send them to my English group chats to make sure they’re confused too.

I love staring at a small, rusty, unassuming chimney and knowing it’s just sitting on top of the fucking Vatican.

What’s over her mouth there?

I always try to imagine the process of deciding, and it’s hard to take it seriously.

“Carnidal Donatello has done some great work for the church, and the nuns really like him.”

“Yes, sure, I agree with you there. However, I think that Mortimer has been much closer to God. I saw him the other day – Mortimer, that is, not God – and I swear he was radiating with light.”

“Mortimer truly does radiate with light, but that may have been due to his proximity to the CNPP back in '86, and might explain his extra appendages… You’ve certainly been quiet through these deliberations, Marco. What are your thoughts on the matter?”

“Me? Oh. Well… I kind of like Bill.”

Immigration Canada wanted proof of my wife and I’s relationship, so we dumped a packet of printed call logs on them as thick as a novel. Skype certainly served its purpose.