Yoshi P (FFXIV): “Yeah, the game was a huge cultural hit that grew more successful with each expansion, so I thought to myself… now that we’ve brought in millions upon millions of players, why not nerf all of the overworld content into absurdity to bring in maybe forty or fifty noobs? So I did. And then I changed all of the classes again once everyone had reached max level. Nobody liked that. So I thought… why not do it again?”

Zenimax (ESO): “So I just kind of made up whatever and then dialed the difficulty down to about a tenth of what it used to be. Now overworld content is on par with swinging an aluminum bat through a pile of packing peanuts. Also, the Second Era was filled with superhero sky ninjas with lava wings who rode around Tamriel upon lightning horses and mechanical spiders. Deal with it.”

Down to da beeaach I’m strollin’!

https://youtu.be/U9t-slLl30E?

This is the natural progression in my decade-long quest to just get one fucking friend to play and of the original STALKER games. Sometimes I feel like I chose to incarnate into this particular simulation where life gets really good in my late-thirties, but I spend a lifetime failing to get friends into STALKER.

I don’t know if this will age like my previous belief that PS1 had photo-realistic graphics, but I feel like 4k is the peak for TVs. I recently bought a 65" 4k TV and not only is it the clearest image I’ve ever seen, but it takes up a good chunk of my livingroom. Any larger would just look ridiculous.

Unless the average person starts using abandoned cathedrals as their livingrooms, I don’t see how larger TVs with even higher definition would even be practical. Especially if you consider we already have 8k for those who do use cathedral entertainment systems.

It has to be ego. I set my ego aside constantly and try to be open minded, and I am very open minded, but sometimes in privacy it’s just so goddamn big for no fucking reason… Like when rehashing a 10-year-old argument in the shower.

There are a few new missing persons reports on (what were) the last twelve remaining good people on the planet. The rest of us are down here jacking off in the bathroom with the fan on because parenthood has made it increasingly difficult (and way too risky) to do it in front of a computer.

Somethingsomethingsomething UNATCO? 😶

Word is that it’s actually really hard to obtain Morbius, as Glorious Leader checks out the only copy nearly every single week.

Imagine your local movie ninja leaves you the portable DVD player beneath the usual log at the edge of town. You bundle it up inside of your goods and inconspicuously bring it home. That night you gather your husband and three children to partake in the wonder that is western cinema. You blow out a few candles and remove a small brick from the hearth, retrieving the portable player from within and popping in your two counterfeit Enjerjizer D-cell batteries. There in the gloom of your commonspace the disc whirrs to life, and the gentle glow of the Morbius menu screen illuminates the faces of your awe-stricken children. It is like magic.

The following afternoon you kneel solemnly in the town square, looking down at their bodies. The distant croon of a raven can be heard.

“모비우스 재미있게 보셨나요?”, the stern-faced soldier asks, the barrel of his pistol planted firmly at the base of your skull. “나는 닌자에게 내일 가져오라고 부탁했습니다.”

It’s the last thing you ever hear.

I was beating my meat to Natalya’s (Goldeneye 64) cone-shaped tits at age 10. It may have been arguably better for me than jerking off to droves of actual tits.

…Not that I wasn’t doing that also…

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This is a great point. I am also like this both in real life and on the internet. I don’t leave bad reviews. I only leave good ones when they are merited. My wife and I once found a bad review on Badlands National Park for the site being “too hot”.

This is exactly how Eric Barone felt, despite knowing in his heart that he had made something special to him. This is how he thought Stardew Valley would he received. The general gaming community are such cunts.

The evil trinity of American excellence:

• Healthcare System

• Banking System

• Temperature Units

I didn’t know just how fucked up it all was until I moved to Canada.

You’re a fucking dumbass person who made an honest mistake, and you should be thrown into a woodchipper commended for owning up to it.

Nice sharp knife… Good present for your mother…

What?! That’s terrible! How?! How can I replicate that so that I don’t accidentally do it?!

I’ve heard The Walking Dead comics are actually quite solid, and differ substantially from the TV series. I’d love to see a faithful animation adaptation done in comic-style art.

I try to, but I never actually reach unconsciousness until I inevitably get cold and pull the sheets or blanket over my body to some degree. I find that on particularly hot nights, it’s enough to drape a sheet over my waist, so long as my feet are outside.

I have a moderate energy drink dependency, so I’m certainly in no place to judge on that one. I’ve tried to get into coffee many times, but it always makes me feel dehydrated and as though I have a mild toxin coursing through my veins, and I don’t know why.