• 2 Posts
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Joined 2 年前
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Cake day: 2023年7月1日

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  • It entirely depends on the community. I’m sure there are judicious, patient moderators here. I mean, in a small community there’s not much work to do, so extra care can be made. But moderation is also a thankless job, and it honestly erodes your soul.

    The easiest thing for a mod to do is say “This person broke a rule, I’m banning them from the entire instance”. The fair thing to do is issue a warning and remove a comment/post, maybe a temp ban. But most people see one infraction, even a mistaken one, as proof that you aren’t fit for the community.




  • “I have no legitimate reason to feel this way” is a trap I find myself in occasionally too. You have to recognize that there are many different battles people face. I also have a comfortable life on paper but struggle with motivation, organization, and purpose.

    What purpose does it serve to constantly lay the blame on yourself for feeling bad? Why would you, who (ostensibly) wants to be happy, make yourself unhappy?

    The reality is that everyone falls in a rut at some point. At 24, that likely stems from lots of inevitable life changes (moving, finishing school, etc). Your “plan” has always been made for you by others until now.

    You say that you don’t see the point refueling if you ultimately don’t drive anywhere. I think this is a key point to recognize. Decide on a place to go, start small. “I’ll start drawing something once a week”, “I’ll go to the board game night at the game store”, “I’ll get the disks out of storage and go back to playing disk golf”.

    I understand the feeling of imposing yourself on others. But you DO have value. Everyone does. Everyone won’t like every aspect of you, and that’s normal. But your ideas and actions matter to people even if they’re not always good at reciprocating.

    Sorry if this sounds like terrible self-help bullshit. When I went through a similar phase, it took a lot of time and effort on my part to re-structure my routine and outlook to recognize that I deserve sympathy and love from others, and especially from myself. I examined my life and cut out some parts that weren’t making me happy. I reinforced the parts that did. I made peace with the parts others expected of me.









  • Thank you for this comment. I do hope that the instance continues to be an inclusive place for trans folks and their allies. I’d like to clarify that I didn’t intend to make anyone feel they needed to defend their identity; the fact that my message was poorly worded was the cause of that.
    Cards on the table, I’m someone many would consider an egg. I’m a cis male, but I’ve always felt more comfortable talking with women, and have always felt that I wished I’d been born female (I’ve never had dysphoria though). After a lot of discussions with the trans community, I came to see that I’m ultimately comfortable with who I am.
    So when I make statements to the tune of “It’s important to some people that their trans identity is recognized”, it comes from the heart. Again, I recognize that I initially worded that in probably the worst way, and I apologize sincerely to anyone I offended.