pronounced ɱɐɢ

I like to think that we are in a time of changing material conditions. It feels like this year has been monumentous with everything that’s happening. Either that, or I’m seeing things from a far different perspective than a year ago.

I’m a recent convert too, so I thoght I’d give my thoughts on this.

this is exactly what I mean

I feel like you missed 4 very specifc words here that go hand in hand with a linuxified thinkpad…

ahem thisisliterally1984

The no gender dysphoria part is actually true, but I very much own two blåhajs.

I do not have any feelings of gender dysphoria.

Period.

Quit looking at my two blåhajs.

Thanks for the concern comrade. It just so happens I was coming home from vacation today (by car) and drunk 4x the amount of coffee I normally drink (4 times 0 is still 0, but I’ll say it’s 1 coffee a day for maths sake). I don’t think it’ll be too hard to fall asleep tonight, given the 7 hour drive and all. Caffeine generally doesn’t affect my ability (or lack thereof) to fall asleep. I don’t take anything for sleep, if you are wondering. Given I am properly home now (and don’t have to wake up at 9 am) I should be able to get plenty of sleep (though from experience just getting that sleep doesn’t mean I’ll feel well rested in the slightest.)

Will try to implement the advice too.

5 hours of sleep. 4 espressos drunk. 3 minutes left to live. 2 times the blood pressure. 1 chance to atomize the national bourgeoisie.

Do not expect any posts from me tommorow, I already feel like I’m getting heart palpitations.

No drinking is a fantasy, I wish I could find someone like that but I’ve settled on them drinking in moderation. I think “I only drink at parties” means they do, then get plastered chugging vodka and I’m the one left to babysit them, because I’m the only sober one there. Not like this has happened to me twice or anything. With groups of 5 at once. Seriously, do rich people have no self control?

Now that I learned to mark spoilers properly, the text is hidden properly.

Sorry to Eternity users, post is still ready to cause psychic damage to you without your consent.

CW: mention of death, suicide, drug use, etc.

Is it an autism thing or a writing essay thing to seperate rants into paragraphs?

actually thet gave us vsauce vinny too so it’s better than china in every way /s

But before any rants, lightherted question for everyone, as I’m not in one of my hating moods to rant right now. Favorite flavor of chewing gum?

Many a rant to be made here, but only when I get the energy to do so.

Nope, I’ve used glide typing but I never really liked the way it felt, could never get the right words.

Have peoplr noticed the spelling mistakes I make while typing? I have typed out all but of my posts on my phone, and I find typing on phone to be quite difficult, and typing quickly doesn’t make it any easier.

Pays to be unbaptized, I can tell you that.

Nevermind, looks like nearly the same situation. Digital hugs sent back as symbol of solidarity comrade o7

Sort of had a similar experience this april. First time I was into someone in a good 3 years. I delayed my rejection by a month and a half due to being too afraid to talk to her again (rejection is a very strong word, she just wasn’t interested, and she was almost too kind with how she said it). I really want to be over it, but I have way too hard of a time letting go of things (in general) and now I just feel like complete shit. Just needed a place to say all this, I’ve got no real friends left and no idea how to make more. The more time goes on the harder it is to interact in general, talking to someone I was crushing on took what felt like a herculean amount of bravery and the literal perfect coditions to happen. This is the only place where I feel like I can speak to people without being terrifed (due to feelings, growing introversion or general anxiety, and the fact that I am likely autistic and am completely unable to guess what people are going to think and say). Doubting my own asexuality is just another thing I do not want right now. For now I think a way to get back on track with everything is to start reading theory again, and maybe doing something else fulfilling. Sorry for the overly long infodump, I just need anyone to see this, I have learned that in abscence of help simply being heard helps me deal with everything. One thing for certain is that lemmygrad gives me a little hope. The same kind of hope I felt when I first became a marxist not too long ago.

I’m not going anywhere comrades, and as for relationships, don’t lose hope comrade, you’ll find someone sooner or later. o7

Every once in a while I think about how easy it would be for me to get ICE’d in the US if I went. Country I’m from has a red passport. If I speak my native language it is quite likely I will be searched. (“Friend” of mine briefly got taken away for questioning by ICE at the airport (Seattle if anyone is wondering) for speaking the same language, was let go after). There is no way I will keep a straight face for the “are you and have you been associated with any communist parties” question. If I ever went I would probably get a different phone, throw away my old one just in case. Not that I want to go to the US, but I have always wanted to visit NY and Seattle.