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Cake day: 2023年12月1日

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  • so there’s a lot of axis when it comes to sexuality, especially around asexuality! i’ll define them for you, and give a few examples, which might help you feel things out for yourself

    • allosexual - asexual

      • this is the spectrum of feeling typical sexual attraction to not feeling it. there’s a lot of points in between allo and ace! for example, i’m demisexual, which means i only develop sexual attraction to people after establishing a strong trusting relationship with them. other examples are like, grey asexuality, aegosexual, etc
    • high libido - low libido

      • this is the spectrum of how horny you get/how often you want to do sex acts. it sounds like you’re on the moderate to low end here, but it’s good to know that it’s not necessarily related to whether you’re ace or not! for example, i’m demi and also high libido
    • sex positive - sex repulsed

      • this axis describes how you feel about sex acts, usually with other people. you can be totally stone cold ace and still enjoy sex, for whatever reason (enjoying other people’s enjoyment, kink stuff, etc) - it’s another thing that’s just, related but doesn’t define asexuality
    • alloromantic - aromantic

      • romantic attraction is its own axis! just like someone might not feel sexual attraction, one may or may not feel romantic attraction. it is also a spectrum, and i think there’s a lot of similar identities in it to the ones on the ace spectrum e.g. demiromatic

    anyways it sounds to me like you’re on the ace spectrum for sure! i think you should read about some of the different identities in the ace spectrum and see if you can relate to any. for example, you might find aegosexual resonates with you:

    Aegosexuals may have sexual fantasies, view sexual content, or masturbate, but typically feel little to no sexual attraction or desire to engage in sexual intercourse. Many aegosexuals fantasize about sex from a third-person perspective



  • lmaoooo this is a great question

    i think this is harder (but still possible!) if you’re running on AMAB hardware, but i happen to have AFAB hardware while being on testosterone (i’m transmasc)

    so i have basically a small dick and a vagina and i can orgasm a lot from both, although the dick will eventually tire out (i was having a really good day that day and probably broke like 30 orgasms from fucking a toy) and just filled the rest with hole orgasms (i can pretty much cum indefinitely from the hole lmao)

    i also have a nervous system which is very friendly to orgasming and multiple orgasms and stuff. thankfully it doesn’t happen involuntarily ever, but i can cum quite easily from getting touched on my body, being kissed, having nipples played with (even post top surgery!), etc


  • i don’t see enough porn scenes where there’s like… a crowd getting too rowdy over a strip dancer or similar. where they break the hands off rule, start fondling her, and eventually progressing to just the whole crowd getting involved in fucking her / jerking off

    (… consentually)

    seems to be a pretty limited niche, i found a few vids kind of like this, but nothing exactly right




  • i mean, the nice thing about medical accommodations, i think, is that they don’t need to know what it is? they just need the documentation showing what your required accommodations are

    but yes, i understand it’s different from a high sex drive. i guess you didn’t specify the origins of the compulsion, but at some point, it becomes nuch easier for me to do it regardless of the impact on my life (e.g. sleep) than not to, despite consistently eating about an hour of time (because otherwise it’ll keep me awake for several hours and i won’t be able to sleep at all). there are times where the impulse has been so strong i can’t focus on work till it’s dealt with, times i’ve snuck off to deal with it at work (thankfully, this has been a rare occurrence…)

    like, i don’t mind it and sometimes i like it, but it definitely impacts my life in ways i’m more cognizant of as i try to take care of myself better. obviously, i’m not required by my body to put in a full work’s week of masturbating, but i’m not sure if the 5-10 hours i mentioned is negotiable; this is just the minimum i can get by on, i could easily go above that (although i won’t lie, 40+ is impressive)


  • aguyinheat@lemmynsfw.comtoAsk Lemmy NSFW@lemmynsfw.comI have Hypersexuality, AMA!
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    3 个月前

    i, uh… hm. maybe learned a new thing about myself tonight

    a lot of my life revolves around managing my sex drive, yeah. i have to make sure to reserve like an hour and change, every other day, at most, to keep myself functioning well. i did think it was weird it took me so long and it usually delays my sleep by an hour and contributes (along other factors) to a consistent pattern of sleep deprivation

    i did a little reading and perhaps this is related to the ADHD. wouldn’t surprise me

    more surprised that i thought it was normal to clock something like 5-10 hours a week getting off…

    that said, i don’t think i want to get a diagnosis, i kind of like being wired like this. i can… mostly manage having a job fine haha

    are you hoping to get a treatment for your hypersexuality via getting a diagnosis? or just a dx for accommodations in the workplace or something? no need to answer if you don’t want to

    (for background, i’m also trans, although trans masc and about ten years older than you. but i’ve been hypersexual for as long as i can remember; since i was a teenager i was basically a compulsive masturbator)

    (it’s an interesting mix with being demi, i’m actually a lot more interested in masturbation than sex… except when i have someone i’m interested in. then i become a sex demon 😈)





  • i appreciate you posting this, i like learning more about things and i’m glad i know better now than to just assume the brain is finished developing at 25

    so i did a little more reading and the following points still seem clear:

    • the brain continues developing into (at least) one’s thirties
    • there’s no hard fall off point for maturity

    so, instead of just looking at their age, we have to look at their age gap, and ask the question, is there a disproportionate imbalance of power here?

    let’s take a moment to define this: the definition i use is roughly, does one person possess more of a handful of traits than the other? these traits are: life experience, career/financial experience, social experience, and general brain development (ability to assess risk reward, understand long term consequences, ability to communicate one’s needs effectively, etc; which is informed both by growth and experience)

    obviously, we can’t make a generalized comparison that will be true for every 18 year old and every 26 year old in the world. however, we can understand that, in most circumstances, the 26 year old will have more of each of these attributes in spades than the 18 year old

    reversing that argument also makes this very clear: for it to be acceptable, the 26 year old needs to have a comparable maturity and reasoning level to an 18 year old, someone nearly a decade younger than them. which is why i said it’s not something i would brag about, personally. either you’re saying you’re immature as an 18 year old, or you’re saying you’re comfortable, to some degree, of engaging in intimately dangerous behavior with someone who is significantly less experienced and developed than you are (or, i suppose, very rarely, you’ve hooked up with an 18 year old who is not only pretty mature, but who’s been living on their own and supporting themselves for a while. but you didn’t include that in the parameters of the question, so i don’t think that’s what you meant)

    to be clear, i understand that the current economic situation has made attaining those life experiences quite difficult, even for people in their mid twenties. however, most people who cannot attain those life experiences, are also generally not hooking up with people, because there are a number of practical barriers to entry there (financial, location, transportation, etc); i don’t think it’s something to be ashamed of! but notably, in this situation, one would be bragging about something very much not worth bragging about, either (and i would hope they were still sensitive to the idea that there are still some differences between them, robbed of the opportunities to spread their wings as an adult, and an 18 year old, who has simply not been alive long enough to do so)

    invalidating the question of whether a brain is completely mature at 25 doesn’t mean that an age gap becomes acceptable because “we can’t tell”, it just means we need to apply a more nuanced standard of scrutiny to the situation

    which, maybe you agree with, but i wanted to make my position in light of this new evidence very clear


  • there’s nothing legally wrong with it, but it’s not something i would be happy to hear about from a friend or whatever, cause now i need to ask:

    • how long/how well do they know them (longer and knowing them more is generally worse)
    • were drugs or alcohol involved (bad, but maybe gives the 26 year old more wiggle room)
    • are they going to continue seeing them (probably bad)
    • are they aware that they hooked up with someone who’s brain isn’t fully formed

    like, it can be done in an ethical way, but in practice, probably won’t be. legally, an 18 year old is an adult, but that does not mean they’re equal in all capacities to adults over 25

    generally speaking, unless it was a very isolated hookup without follow up contact, i would pretty strongly recommend against it

    that said, yeah, this post reeks of flexing about hooking up with an 18 year old LMAO which… personally, i would not brag about




  • okay, i understand your point of view. i think that the article blows it up a bit compared to the actual video clip in it. i think she’s probably fine, she’s an adult, she’s choosing to do it again but more (idk why, it doesn’t sound like it was a good experience, but ppl want to leave legacies, i guess)

    in that clip, i don’t feel like she broke down in tears, she like… had a an emotional moment. it seems like it was a different experience than what she expected but like… you know, she needed to eat and shit, too. if you caught me 14 hours into a fumbled noita (very difficult roguelite video game) run where i hadn’t been eating or otherwise taking care of myself, you might catch me in frustrated distraught tears too lol, y’know? doesn’t mean it’s traumatic

    in all honesty, it sounds like she had to confront how she felt about sex, how sex should go, how sex should go for other people, and frankly, that she believed more impersonal sexual experiences reduce you to a whore. and those are natural feelings to work through after such an experience, but there’s no reason to assume she wasn’t able to come to healthier thought patterns (everyone involved is a consenting adult, sex work is about choice, sex can be transactional and that’s OK, there’s actually nothing inherently wrong with being a whore, it’s all societal judgement, etc etc etc)

    anyways, i’m not her. i don’t know what she was feeling in the moment, but whatever it was, it wasn’t so bad that she’s swearing off the idea, i think you can probably be reassured that she’s okay and she’ll continue to be okay even if she goes through with the 1k dudes things