It took almost 2 fucking years after my first initial appointment to get properly medicated.

I’d literally kill myself if I was forced to do it all again.

You “just go see a doctor”–folk have no idea how fucking difficult it is to 1). actually be seen by a competent doctor, 2). be taken seriously, 3). and actually receive treatment for mental health stuff.

That’s not even including the whole “getting out of a shit enough headspace to actually do all that stuff in the first place.”

Unmedicated me felt like wading through hell.

Be kind to those with different chemistry. Shit sucks.

And ADHD just means “you’re too lazy, and just need to focus.”

Things that make me want to hurt people.

Feel this one in my bones.

Goddamn, way to make me flashback.

There was a point in my life where I was facing homelessness, was constantly job searching but hearing nothing back, and had to count coins to make sure I could afford to eat each day. Not only that, but the closest family member, who had invited me to stay with them if things went tits up, had just died two days before in a sudden and tragic way.

And my then-bf dragged me to a bar, where he and all his friends told me to “just let it go” and “loosen up” as if the basement rock of my world hadn’t just eroded out from under me. I sure as shit couldn’t afford bar prices, and not a single one of the group offered to get me anything, leaving me stone sober while they all got shitfaced. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for an hour, and when I came back out, “bf” was getting a fucking lap dance from his friend’s fiancee.

That wasn’t even the worst part of the night. It definitely got darker before the light returned.

I’m okay now, over a decade later, in an infinitely-better place with supportive friends and partners. But man, what a journey.

I get the metaphor this is making, but I can’t help but view this as everyone being passive aggressive because the character refuses to actually see a doctor about their hand lol.

“I can’t, because of my hand. My hand hurts so much. Life sucks because of this hand.”

“You should go to a doctor to show your hand”

“No! It won’t help anything! And it costs money. And I don’t know how to or want to anyway.”

I’ve seen that too, where the person doesn’t want to actually even try to help themselves.