Hey there, thanks for taking the time to read. I’ve been feeling bad for some time now and figured now is a good a time as any to share.
I am having a pretty serious issue with activating myself lately. I’ve been sidelined from work since the beginning of September. In this time I’ve been speaking to several healthcare professionals and colleagues. I’m currently in the process of finding a therapist.
I’ve recently drawn the conclusion that I do not sometimes have bad days, I’m pretty much down every day but I have moments that I’m fine. The fine moments are getting more scarce though…
Today I am writing to you because my mind does not know what it wants. I can’t decide if I wanna call my friends and have a beer or if I want to curl up on my bed and cry.
Anyway, that was what I wanted to share. Thanks for reading.
It sounds like from your other posts that you’re spiralling badly. The only way to break out of a depression spiral is to do something radically different. Any urge to isolate and feel miserable is the spiral talking.
So maybe go out with your friends and talk them about how you’re feeling. They may just surprise you with some well needed compassion. And talking about it always helps.
My other posts? I thought for a second I was going insane so I had a look and this is the first time over posted here.
That said, I agree that I am not improving. I’m trying to talk as much as I can to anyone who will listen. I have friends with experience in the field and they are very open to support me. I just have to gather my thoughts in order to talk about what I need.
Oddly enough, talking is what you might need to prepare for talking to your friends. Talking can help you organize your thoughts in a way that sitting around alone and thinking can’t.
However, a fair chunk of that comes from verbalizing your thoughts even if there’s no feedback. That’s why rubber duck debugging (explaining your programming issues to an inanimate object like a rubber duck) is a thing.
So if you feel uncertain about bringing up things with your friends before you’ve ordered your thoughts, try explaining things to an inanimate object or imaginary stranger first. That forces you to put at least some order into your thoughts just so you can put them into words.
Or explain them to people on the internet, of course.
Sorry if I’m rambling. Going for abstract advice is kinda my way of dealing with such problems. But rest assured that I’m rooting for you.
Thanks!
I’ve recently gotten a new manager at work and his focus is software development. He actually showed me his literal rubber duck and explained why he had it.
Verbalising does help a little so I do try to talk about stuff a lot.