I’m a lady; I like spiders. I like a lot of other things too, like other bugs, and snakes, and other oft-unappreciated creepy critters. I like Heavy Metal, and D&D, and Victorian things, and videogames, and anime, and I also like to fuck

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Cake day: October 28th, 2023

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  • Yeah, I mean you’re absolutely right. There is a male default assumption we tend to have. Maybe it’s a quirk of language, but I think it’s certainly more cultural. Our preconceived notions of “person in internet” is masculine, even though women use the internet just as much and make up half the population. The only time it’s not the case is when you’re in places that are exclusively for women, or in places where the hobby is so dominantly feminine

    For simple shit like this, I don’t think it’s particularly harmful or malicious. We invent a person we’re talking to online, and the more often invented person is a man. It’s more a symptom of the greater culture at large, and effectively just a part of our language. We have “they” but I think there’s also a gender-neutral “he” that we just don’t recognize that arose from the male-as-default idea. Intentionally misgendering, on the other hand, is 100% a shitty thing to do, but that’s an argument on a different topic anyway



  • LadyLikesSpiders@lemmy.mltoCasual Conversation@lemmy.worldfuck the manosphere
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    11 months ago

    The manosphere is so sad. I sorta hate how fascinated I am by it, and it seems like it is so incredibly easy for men to get sucked into it. I’ve seen guy friends go down that path, and I never would have predicted it. I’ve heard from other guy friends who crawled out of it that I never would have even expected it

    Sorry you went through that, but better seeing that shit sooner rather than later. I really don’t know how anyone can think “I bet if I told them they were just naturally dumber than me, they’d think it was hot.” Clearly men are not all that logical if they keep falling for manosphere bullshit XD

    You know your worth, so you just keep chugging along. Having no man is better than having a bad man


  • select mates

    Where are you picking up that kind of lingo for human interactions, friend? Maybe it’s just a quirk of yours, but I only ever see this kind of language from incels and incel circles, and it’s not just the “mate” line, but the whole of your post

    So I’ll opine. You’re seeing something that’s confirming to a preconceived notion. Not gonna say there are no women who don’t like their bad boys or actually toxic people–god knows I know some of those women–but it is hardly the standard, and your anecdotal accounts mean you’re subject to things like social class and circles, culture, and region. Besides that, it could still be plainly untrue what you see, but its possible you are only even registering the women who fit this idea. There could be 20 women in happy, healthy relationships, but you’re not thinking about them. You’re only considering the woman in a toxic relationship, and when you try and recall the dynamics you know, only thos come to mind

    This is fairly common mindset for incels, red-pillers, that whole group. They’ll talk about how easy it is for women to have sex, but it’s because their idea of women is already “something to have sex in”, so they’re not open to the idea that there are plenty of women who do struggle with dating

    And besides that, who are you to judge the men they’re with? You say they’ll avoid 10 awesome dudes for [cavalcade of generic reactionary insults], but are those 10 dudes really awesome? You’re not dating them, nor do you have a woman’s lived experience to watch out for certain yellow or red flags that those men may clearly be displaying. Alternatively, maybe what makes an awesome dude to you is not actually what makes them awesome to women. Maybe the guys you’re calling bad boys aren’t as bad as you think, is what I’m saying

    Or yeah, maybe you’ve just seen and know a bunch of women who have made some poor choices. For whatever reason, it does happen, after all. Women are not immune to subscribing to ideas of toxic masculinity, and we can be vicious about it. We shouldn’t, but we can

    Juts try and make sure that whatever spaces you’re occupying, especially the kind you’re picking up that incel jargon from, you think critically about what they’re saying. It is so incredibly easy to get sucked into the manosphere









  • I don’t think it’s quite that simple, though I suspect there is a grain of truth to it, that apolitical or less emotional music is manipulated out of popular and financial success. Mostly, though, I think it’s just the nature of reaching wide audiences. The “blander” (here meaning simply not particularly heavy on any subject matter) something is, the fewer people will be put off by what it has to say. If all there is to a song is just enjoying the piece of music for entertainment, there are simply more people who would appreciate that over, say, black metal, that is designed to evoke certain specific strong emotions

    I also suspect that your premise is not so much flawed, but a disingenuous oversimplification, and that popular music probably involves heavier and “angrier” themes then you are giving it credit for. Or maybe you’re right entirely. I couldn’t name a single Taylor Swift song. I’m a metalhead, and whenever I go outside that comfort zone, it’s never to pop music. I look for artistry in music, and the top 100 don’t guarantee artistry, only sales, which if you wanna get into, is a whole lot of conspiring, just not political

    Sales as a measure of success is entirely flawed in a capitalist society well after the invention of the field of psychology. When you know how to manipulate people, you can manipulate populations into buying shitty music. If you have the money, you can pay for advertising, which will make your artist seem more popular than they are, and then give you even more money to pump into yet more advertisement. It is certainly political, but not in a “we can’t have people having revolutionary thoughts” way, just in a “capitalism must perpetuate itself” way


  • lmao AI is going to be used by the capitalists to, well, not end humanity, but certainly to make capitalism better at taking your money. Capitalism will be what ends humanity

    Now ideally, AI is supposed to do away with capitalism, lead us to that full automation where we are free to enjoy orgies and wine like the Greeks of old had always hoped, but capitalists are tenacious and shrewd, and will devour, co-opt, and vomit back anything used against it like so many Che Guevara shirts in a Hot Topic. As long as AI is held by the rich–as long as anything is held by the rich and made to be paid for, requiring either your money or your time, the rich will always have more of it, and they will then use it against you

    If you want AI to benefit humanity, you have to do away with capitalism first. You have to put in place a system that allows for people to not only survive, but truly live, despite all the jobs taken by automation. Capitalists don’t want this. They need poor people to exist in order to have power, and they use the power they already have to maintain capitalism, including AI

    You can use technology in the best interest of mankind, but capitalism will always use it to benefit capitalism