• 32 Posts
  • 25 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 12th, 2023
  • TheTimeKnife@lemmy.worldtoMental Health@lemmy.world•my boyfriend plays video games every chance he getsEnglish
    5·
    3 days ago

    This is more of a face to face, or at least voice call conversation. Yeah it sucks interrupting his coping method, but it’s just not a split focus type conversation and sometimes you have to be a little uncomfortable during a difficult conversation. He can’t really opt out of it either by ignoring it. It’s a conversation about his behavior and how it impacted you. If you want, you can let him know you need to talk and schedule it. Some people do better with time to emotionally prepare. You can do this, it’s always harder to get started than keep it going on these things. If he literally has no time in the foreseeable future to talk to his partner about something important to them, he doesn’t really have time for a relationship. Nobodies patience is endless, and you shouldn’t hold it against yourself if you find your limit.

  • TheTimeKnife@lemmy.worldtoMental Health@lemmy.world•my boyfriend plays video games every chance he getsEnglish
    20·
    3 days ago

    Spending all of your time on a hobby is not reasonable, even because of mental health issues. Sure, short stints can be managed from relationship to relationship, but everyone has a need to talk and spend time with their partner. Nobody can sustain being completely ignored forever. You need to have a talk, establish an understanding of what you both need out of a relationship, how much time spent together is the key topic of conversation. It may just be that your hobbies, coping strategies, relationship preferences and lifestyles are incompatible for a long term relationship. You need to talk to figure this out, understand if it feels more like a moment of extreme stress or more like something he is happy with just remaining that way forever. My wife and I both love video games. We play hours and hours of it together. Just got her into mechwarrior online and she loves it. I still can’t game all the time, we have both have had to put the game down to spend time with the other. It’s just a normal part of being in an adult relationship, you have to find a balance, and that balance is usually established by a series of conversations about expectations, needs and boundaries. Sometimes the balance just comes naturally, but you can’t expect it to always work that way or stay that way. Lastly, its pretty rude to act like your partner is being annoying when wanting to spend time together. Sometimes people are rude to each other when we shouldn’t be, but how we take responsibility for that when confronted about it says a lot about how much we care about our impact on the person we hurt.