I fell for someone who lives in a different country. We met while he was passing through mine, and then he later changed some of his travel plans to come back and see me again.
We saw each other every single day for over a month, he met most of my friends, we went on trips together and overall he was very loving and did all kinds of things that made me feel like we had something that could last beyond a fling. He told me he would be back again.
His feelings changed not long after he went back home, and he only admitted it to me once I confronted him after noticing him become more and more distant over 2 months. He said he found it hard to stay emotionally invested in someone so far away.
I get that long distance is hard and that people’s feelings change. I just didn’t think he’d lose feelings for me so easily. It hurts more than ending a relationship that has slowly burned out over time, because I just can’t make sense of how quickly this happened. And I think a large part of why I got so attached is because I very rarely meet guys I’m genuinely interested in, let alone ones that treat me well.
Have any of you gone through something similar? If so, how did you cope with it? Was there anything that made it easier to accept, or do I just need to let time do its thing? I have a bunch of important things to finish this week and have already lost so much time crying lol.
I’m sorry that happened to you. It sucks, and I’m not going to say it doesn’t.
At the end of the day, you lost something you cared about, whether it was the feeling, the person, or simply a companion, it’s still a loss and your feelings are valid here.
I agree with others that you probably dodged a bullet. That doesn’t make any of this okay, but I’ll say this, would you want to stay with someone who gives up so easily on your relationship?
While finding someone you care about is difficult, and I won’t diminish that challenge, it does happen, and as rare as it was to find this one, there will be others. It might not be soon, but it will happen. The fact is, as much as you may have wanted this to work out, it did not. You cannot force them to want to have a relationship with you.
Things will suck, and continue to suck for a while, unfortunately there’s no quick fix for this pain; you can rationalize it, as I have started to here, and all of those arguments might be true and accurate, but that doesn’t make it hurt less. Feelings are not rational. You can’t argue yourself into feeling better, you’ll just make yourself feel guilty for not feeling better sooner. Additional feelings of guilt will only make your healing process more difficult.
Remember: “The best revenge is living well”. Whenever you get to the point of bitterness about it, remember that.
I know you have a lot to do, but remember to take care of yourself, it will be difficult for you to be productive if you’re struggling with your emotional state, so take care of yourself.
Your words are so compassionate and matter-of-fact at the same time, and I think that’s just what I needed. It’s truly appreciated, thank you <3