Who hurt you as a child?
It’s not exactly an open-ended question but you seem to be having fun with it. Leaving the post up.
I’ve been trying to AskReddit this for seven years, but it always got deleted. It’s a legitimate question!
Not very high brow I’ll grant you, but legitimate.
My guesses:
- Intoxication: They’re drunk or high enough that they’re not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
- Narcissism: They’re very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren’t paying attention to what they’re peeing on; just as they don’t remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren’t the help supposed to do that?
- Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn’t think they were making it any worse.
- Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.
Oh, you’ve got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.
I sit at home, but I don’t sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.
Same. Can’t be fucked to stand. any chance to sit down is welcome. Except on a piss-soaked public convenience.
I have found my people.
Ahhh you’re trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don’t have to? Why even squat above it when you don’t have to? It’s laziness / efficiency, dear, not… 🤣🤣🙄… fragile masculinity.
I work in construction, half the men have dirty asses cause its gay to touch your asshole. I wish I was exaggerating.
No it’s both you should see the amount of men who physically recoil when I tell them I sit to pee
Fuck that, I love sitting down to piss. It’s like a free break AND I get to let the boys out for a few minutes?
The only times I won’t are when the bathroom is already filthy, or the toilet water is too high and my junk goes for a dunk if I sit.
You either have an annoying plumbing problem or a massive piss lizard. I guess both is possible too.
Yank toilets have this wierd bowl design, where there’s like 2 litres of water in the bowl at all times
I’m not going to brag, but my junk hangs low. I’m also in the US. Some toilets are ridiculously full by default, especially older models.
Fag.
I bet you eat corn the long way.
Could be some sort of health condition maybe? Like, they had to have a spray nozzle grafted to their urethra?
You’re forgetting misfires can happen soon after ejaculation (and probably other things).
This is more of a rant isn’t it
I’ll admit, I typed it while dropping a deuce in the absolutely filthy restrooms at The Florida Mall.
Shitting in a Florida mall. Some people skydive, others free climb, then there’s you.
The things we sacrifice to visit CrayolaWorld 😔
Related question, why the fuck do some people feel it necessary to grunt, moan, pant, and otherwise loudly vocalize while shitting? Zero people want to hear you, shut the fuck up, you are gross.
May you be lucky enough to never find out why. Those are not voluntary sounds.
Amen brother. Hit 35 after gallbladder removal. I’ll never poop silently again.
I still don’t buy it. I’ve had shits where I feel like I’m about to pop a blood vessel and still don’t feel a need to vocalize it. My brother has severe IBS and shitting is basically torture for him the way he tells it, still never hear any yelling coming from the bathroom.
People don’t do that for fun haha
Just pray you never have a poop they generates them.
They’re charging up their ki in there obviously
Most pain I’ve ever experienced was on a toilet. I could not keep quiet.
Shut the fuck up and hear me roar mother fucker.
I have constipation problems and I can’t stop myself from making those noises, they just kinda come out. Very rude you’re just assuming everyone who grunts and makes noises while shitting is doing it on purpose just to annoy you
Bro, keep eating good fibre and you’ll never know. People do this because they’re blind to the consequences of their shitty diet. Every sodie and highly processed white flour hamburger bun provides them with copious energy and almost zero fiber.
It’s so universal too, it’s like I have to clean every single toilet seat before I use it.
As men get older, it becomes more challenging to initiate urination. As a result, the distance the urine stream travels at the beginning becomes unpredictable.
On the other hand, towards the end of urination, the stream becomes weaker and may cause post-dribbling. This also increases the chances of hitting the toilet seat.
Failing to clean the toilet seat afterward is simply pure rudeness though.
Just sit down.
…on a public toilet seat. I ain’t touching most of them, much less sitting on them, so oh yeah, yeah, no.
Skill issue, git gud
Seriously, this thread has been a real boost to my ego. You guys suck at peeing.
Your only achievement in life.
Men? Have you heard about the women’s?
Some men will be experiencing problems such as “hesitation” (they step up to wee but nothing happens for a few seconds), a poorer stream than they’re used to and “terminal dribbling” (they think they’ve finished but quite a few drops of urine continue to dribble out - in addition to hitting the toilet seat it might drip into their underwear when they put their penis away). They might even have problems with needing to go very often or all of a sudden.
Symptoms like these can mean that there’s a problem with urine being able to flow out of the bladder easily. One thing that can cause this would be a problem with the bladder, but it could also be a problem with the prostate. You don’t have to be super old for this to start happening.
Regardless it is worth getting symptoms like this checked out with a doctor and making sure it’s not something serious; even if it isn’t, there might be treatment that can help with the symptoms.
Should still wipe the seat when done, or have a tissue handy to catch the drops before they get anywhere.
There was this guy at work that would pee on the floor instead of in the toilet, at a frequency of maybe once or twice a week. Never would own up to it and made everyone else clean it up.
He must have gotten his jollys from it, was on too many rx drugs to notice, or had some malicious intent going on.
Never found out who it was, everytime I had a hunch the guy would quit or get fired and it kept up. Thank God I started working from home. Ugh
That’s the thing: it was always a new person. Cut the head off of one snake only for another to appear.
i love marking my territory
Already know the answer, but how do women even possibly piss on the toilet seat? It SHOULD be physically impossible, unless I’m an idiot and doing it wrong.
It’s because some women squat on the seat instead of sitting on it. Which gets the seat dirty which makes women squat so they don’t touch the dirty seat, which gets it dirty, ad infinitum.
Totally. As I said, I always knew the answer. In fact, I said it on the place that shall not be named, and all the seat pissers all got their panties in a bunch. Which got them all trying to flame me.
Still gross.
Worse than that, we had a guy essentially miss the toilet while taking a shit in our work washroom. It was this larger construction worker and he must have sat down wrong somehow and shit went everywhere on and under the toilet seat. Guess who didn’t try cleaning up and left without saying a word? Fuck that was nasty…
true story. my son has a bit of a phobia for public toilets and one day I was out with him and his sister in the city, riding ferry etc. I could see around lunchtime he needed to go, but he refused as he usually does. after lunch it was obvious he really needed to go and wouldn’t make it back home in time (1.5 hour train ride plus time to get back to the station). there was a nicish public toilet at Manly Beach and I walked him in, he had agreed to try as he was clearly desperate.
but he decided no he couldn’t go.
so we catch the ferry back to Sydney. again I asked to take him into the toilet as it was quite nice, but he refused. as we got to the train station, there was no excuse. he was bursting. had to go and had no choice. took him into the toilet. it was without a doubt, handsdown, the worst I had EVER been into. there was shit in the floors, smeared on walls, on the frikken toilet seats. piss everywhere. he had no choice. thankfully there was toilet paper.
I cleaned the seat as best as I could with toilet paper. he went.
we disinfected the shit out of both ourselves when we finally got home.
As for OPs question, some people are just plain animals
It’s not just men and unfortunately it’s not just piss.
I use the sink so no one can blame me for the toilet seat
