Lucky for me my parents were both “I didn’t save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I’m older”, so I don’t have to suffer through this.
Lucky for me my parents were both “I didn’t save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I’m older”, so I don’t have to suffer through this.
No this reasoning is flawed and used as an excuse for bad behavior. My father justified his alcoholism to himself by pointing out how independent all the kids turned out since he was useless, or how good we were with money because we could sense a scam from a young age as he was always trying to scam/manipulate us.
You can teach someone to cross the road by explaining the dangers and process to them, or you can teach them by driving enough cars into them that they either figure it out themselves (and carry the scars forever) or die. That doesn’t make you a good teacher
I think you missed the “despite all his efforts” - I’m trying to make a backhanded defense, along the lines of “You were a shit parent, but hey, your kid was alright, so I guess you failed”, but I phrased it awkwardly.
I very much know your position though. Someone close to me had a similar issue with their parent, who forced them to become self-reliant since the parent in question was neglectful at best.