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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • As I already said in my other response, it’s really about the developing child. Jonathan Haidt’s books “The Coddling of the American Mind” and “The Anxious Generation” both talk about the idea of over protectionism. You cannot deny that buy expensive shoes they will inevitably grow out of to avoid some light teasing from the school boys is over protecting them. They should be tough enough to handle comments about the fact they don’t have expensive shoes. If they aren’t, that’s a great parenting moment to help them work through those feelings and how to better handle the social situations.


  • The goal of childhood is to prepare you for adulthood. It is better to be teased as a developing child, especially for something trivial, and be a well rounded adult. Children have to figure out how to navigate difficult social situations themselves, rather than simply avoiding them. It is becoming increasingly problematic when kids aren’t working things out amongst themselves, or at the very least putting up with it, and instead resort to having an adult fix it for them. If they learn they can always go to an adult to fix their problems, they are being prepared for an authoritarian government. The solution to their problems is a higher power that will fix things for them. This is not quite the same, but it is avoiding difficult confrontation over something as trivial as shoes.

    I do think kids should also have the freedom to choose their own shoes. If you give them a budget, and they can find Nike shoes in that budget, good on them. Maybe they even keep an eye on them going on sale. But if they cannot find shoes within the budget, they will have to settle for what they like within their price range. Which is also a valuable lesson for a developing teen.

    they feel those problems with the same intensity we do

    We cannot protect kids from big feelings. It is vital they experience big feelings. It’s becoming increasingly problematic with over protectionism and treating children as fragile beings. It’s caused higher levels of anxiety and reduced social skills. While you may say them not having name brand shoes will lead to anxiety, if they are always given a way out of their easy to handle middle school problems, how are they going to be prepared for adulthood problems, or the countless other things out of their control. They need to experience the anxiety and learn how to handle it in healthy ways.

    something that’s important to a child should also be important to their parents, in my opinion

    I get where you’re coming from, but that cannot be universally true (and I think you would agree). A child wanting every toy they ever see, no matter how important to them, obviously is not going to be important to you as a parent. If a teen thinks it’s important everyone they meet loves them, you cannot encourage extreme people pleasing. No kid “needs” name brand shoes. That is very distinctly a want. Perhaps they do some extra chores to earn their more expensive shoes, so you are all happy. But simply giving them expensive shoes they will inevitably grow out of because of a few comments from some school bullies is not a big problem. It is a little problem. Kids can handle little problems without adult intervention.









  • Bazoogle@lemmy.worldtoPrivacy@lemmy.mlThe Privacy Iceberg
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    2 months ago

    Bitwarden had some security issues historically.

    What security issues? If you mean potential security vulnerabilities researcher found that they’ve patched, I don’t understand how that would be different from Keepass and their previous security vulnerabilities. Bitwarden has never had a security issues historically that I know of. Lastpass, on the other hand…

    I generally recommend using software for password managers that isn’t internet connected.

    I also recommend they upload it to whatever cloud storage they use

    I also really don’t get these two. They seem to contradict each other.

    I usually recommend bitwarden, where they can use the browser extension and mobile phone app. It gives them autofill features on all their sites. Getting someone to change their passwords and use a password manager is already difficult enough. Giving them the most convenient option is going to make it more like they stick with it.


  • Being social is pretty similar to exercising. When you first try to do it after a while, it’s usually painful and not enjoyable. It isn’t until practicing and keeping at it that it will get easier and you can actually feel the benefits. Finding someone that you can actually share your hobbies with can go a long way, especially if they are able to give some sort of input as well that is beneficial to what you’re working on.



  • Yea, telegram being advertised as a privacy messenger is a joke. If people want to have group chats like in discord and don’t care about privacy, whatever. But to try and flaunt how privacy focused you are while using your own home-brewed encryption is a joke. Not to mention the fact you have to turn it on for every chat you want end to end encrypted.

    The whole thing about not giving out data is really only accomplished by spreading user data across several countries. So you would have to get a search warrant from every country to get the data, relying on some countries not wanting to cooperate with other countries. That is not real security. Real security would be encrypting it so you literally couldn’t give them the data, even if they had a search warrant. Ya know, like signal.


    1. A password managed is basically like a physical vault. If someone gets into a physical vault, they’ve gained access to all your valuable items, but the vault is extremely difficult to get into.
    2. Random websites do not prioritize security like they should. So when there is inevitably a breach in one of those 50 sites and you end up on haveibeenpwned.com, that does not allow them access to the other 49 sites. Often when logins are breached, the people getting that information do not care about the actual site that was breached. Rather, they know a password you use and your email, and can now try to login to actually useful sites where people often use the same login.
    3. There should be multiple layers of security to your password manager. Password and Authenticator app should be basic (No SMS or Email 2FA, not secure enough). Ideally, we move towards passwordless logins altogether so there is no secret that can be compromised on the server side.



  • Men are not the problem, rapists are. Black people are not the problem, poverty is.

    This line, do you not see how those are different? If these were the same, you would say “Black people are not the problem, thieves are” but poverty (among a hoard of other things) are what make people more like to steal. What causes people to rape? What systematic oppression made them sexually harass a woman? What hardship forced them to cat call that random woman walking by them? What tragedy caused the boss to sexually extort is employee? Do you not see how these are different still?

    A government can exponentially reduce theft by taking care of people. People who do not have to worry about food and shelter do not have a need to steal. You may still have mental health issues that may lead to kleptomania or other addictions, but if people are taken care of, they generally have no reason to steal. The solution to theft is not arrest thieves more, it’s to get to the root of the problem. It’s all about proactive vs reactive.

    What does a government do to stop men sexually harassing women? Arresting all the rapists in the world would be reactive, but what is the proactive approach? What stops it from happening in the first place. What is the problem that needs to be solved? Obviously, the problem is not “man” itself. But the problem is 100% among men.

    ‘mexicans are rapists’ is the literally exact same rhetoric as ‘men are rapists.’ there is no difference whatsoever.

    Literally speaking, there is at least one obvious difference. One is a race, and one is a sex. A woman can easily go day after day of being sexually harassed by men. The odds of someone, day in a day out, being sexually harassed by just Mexicans is basically non-existent. Racism is generally caused by ignorance, political manipulation, general biases, or ideas along those lines. It is rarely from a widespread experience. At best, it’s rooted in one or two negative experiences they apply widely to the entire race.

    Women that have a distrust in men exists solely from countless experiences in every area of life. There is no political manipulation happening to get people to distrust men (because men are the ones with the power), it happens because of the things many men have done to them. While obviously not all men, when it happens frequently enough it does become reasonable to just simply say “men”. And it is, indeed, happening that frequently.

    Men are not the oppressors, they are a gender like any other

    You seriously need to pick up some history books. Or at least read a Wikipedia page.

    Stop defending bigotry and attack the actual problem, or get lumped in with the rest of the literal nazis saying the same thing you are

    You seriously need a new username. The most I’ve insulted you is to say you are not being a super nice person, and meanwhile you are calling me (and rape victims, and women who complain about their abusers) bigots and nazis.

    You say we need to “attack the actual problem” but what is the actual problem? The problem is not rapists, because the goal is to stop it before they rape. What caused them to rape? What was the root problem that needs to be solved?

    Do you not see we need a cultural and societal shift among men? Can you not easily picture the party where the man is trying to sleep with a clearly uninterested woman? Where when someone tries to intervene, the dude gets pissed for being cock blocked, and all his bros are just trying to help him get his “dick wet”. Maybe they give her more alcohol, or maybe they peer pressure her more until she feels like she has no other choice. Or maybe, if they’re fucked up enough, they just drug her drink. This is happening constantly, and it’s super normalized. The problem is the man that was trying to pressure the woman, but it was also the friends encouraging the friend and making him feel entitled to sex. It was also any of the men that saw this happening and didn’t step up. The problem was the male role models in those mens life for not showing them how to treat women properly. Men are more likely to listen to other men, so men have to do something about it. That is why people say “men are the problem”. Then men continue to be the problem by responding to that with “you fucking bigot nazi”



  • When an extreme majority of those rapists and abusers are men, how are men not the problem? Given the fact you are getting defensive when nobody is talking about you shows you’re a part of the problem. You’re ignoring the issue among men to get caught up in semantics. You are literally just responding by calling them bigotted. That is, once again, not a super nice thing to do. You really should use a different username.

    You cannot simply ignore systematic oppression. That is a key detail when discussing societal issues.

    NOBODY IS JUDGING YOU. Can you get that through your thick skull? I thought I said it time and time again in the last comment. THEY ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MAN. THEY AREN’T TALKING ABOUT YOU. Stop taking shit literally and using it as an excuse to ignore their extremely real complaints.


  • It is a different problem though. Men do no have the same systematic sexism women face. There are absolutely problems men face, but they are different. Women are much more often taken advantage of, abused, and discriminated against for their sex. So when we talk about womens problems, to then mention mens problems is pulling away attention from the problems women face. Men have historically held most, if not all, the power. That is still true to this day. Men abuse that power over women more than women abuse that power over men.

    Not to mention, the problems men face when coming out about abuse are ENTIRELY different problems than a woman faces, like you said so yourself. That alone seems to me like the issues are different, meaning they would have different solutions to them. Thus, their movements would be two separate movements.