Not really related, but this is one of the many reasons why I’ve never been able to be in a relationship. I don’t feel that way about others, so faking it feels wrong to me. I went out with a guy a couple of times and felt gross doing that. So that’s about it.

Sometimes it’s frustrating that I can’t have an intimate relationship with someone that way, but what can you do? Have to go through life with the cards you’re dealt, I guess.

Hey I applaud you for putting yourself out there!

I think the fact that you’ve managed to marry and have kids is fantastic. It’s a big social hurtle that a lot of hermits never end up making it with, so you should be very proud of yourself for being vulnerable with another human being like that.

Tbh, I think over time that it ends up quite normal for people as they age to really just have their spouse and kids as their main “friends” without many others externally. So I think you’re doing pretty good on the weirdness and socialization scales haha.

But yeah I totally get you wanting to allow your wife a breather and have some other buddies to share the “social burden” with (I don’t mean it negatively, just not sure how to phrase it).

Best of luck to you!

Thanks! It’s because I’m so cool and popular! ;)

Hope you’re doing better now.

Growing up for me, the popular kids were actually also usually intelligent and got into good universities. So the stereotype of popular kids being dumb really doesn’t ring true everywhere.

Definitely not.

My mental issues developed at around middle school age for reasons totally unknown to me. I stopped talking to most people and had extreme social anxiety. I couldn’t relate to my peers, didn’t know how to speak to them, and had extreme fears of what they thought of me. I never fit into the mold of a stereotypical girl who was feminine and I never knew how to or was interested in figuring out how to look presentable/stylish like other girls would. I never developed an attraction to the opposite (or even same) sex, which was confusing and felt slightly alienating to be different from everyone. I would chant berating words to myself in my head for some reason all day when walking between classes. I pushed away the one friend I had like an asshole because I was afraid of social ramifications.

In late middle school/early high school, I discovered that there were communities of people online. I felt extremely comfortable communicating there (text only…was never comfortable with voice), and I credit those communities with helping my sanity for loneliness and also teaching me about how to communicate with others.

But I never really learned to make friends in person. Occasionally, someone in high school would try to befriend me but I literally did not catch on. Behavior like people randomly wanting to sit next to me or chat with me confused me. It is only after the fact that I realized they were trying to befriend me.

I have no idea why that happened with me. I was never bullied.

There was a group of girls that I grew up with that eventually shut me out which was very hurtful, but I don’t know that it really happened before I got all weird to trigger it. I think when I got weird, they noticed and shut me out.

Some of us just ended up crazy for no discernible reason I guess.

I get that puberty can be a rough time for everyone, but I didn’t really notice other peers having the same degree of social impairment as me. My siblings growing up did not either. I actually asked my mom not to have a graduation party for me (because I didn’t have any friends but I didn’t tell her that).

I’m in my 30s and still interact primarily online, but I would say I am significantly more adept and comfortable at interacting with others in person. In a work environment, I am totally comfortable and confident. In a party environment for example, I freak out.

This is totally unhelpful, but I just wantes to say I absolutely love these stairs!

“The night is darkest before the dawn.”

Like goddamn the “night” is really hard to get through at times. But one of the only true things in life is change. Sometimes it’s change for the worse and sometimes it’s change for the better. Sometimes knowing that change will come is helpful for me, even if I don’t know which direction it will go.

Good luck, everyone. Rooting for you. :)

Edit: I find coffee/tea to always be a nice little pick me up/treat even tho I have it daily lol. Treat yourself!

My post is a bit long winded lol sorry. I stated in it that my new therapist seems to be going with DBT for me. So yes I’ll obviously be talking to them about it haha but I wanted to know people’s experience with it. It seems like CBT is a bit more common.

Like, if someone treats me poorly, why can’t I defend myself? Why do I have to let them do what they want to me and just sit with it?

Maybe a more extreme example, but there was a period of time where a younger sibling kept trying to record and spy on me naked. Why wasn’t I allowed to fight back?

Or in now terms, my supervisor had been routinely terrible to me. I filed a formal complaint and she has been better to me, but it made all of my coworkers upset with me. Why wasn’t I allowed to do that?

DBT seems to be in the mindset of letting your abuser be your abuser. You can’t change them. But you have to somehow not respond to repeated abuse from them.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Do you actually have the means to move out? I always really love to encourage people to do so if they are in an unfortunate environment. It will do so much for your mental health.

I was in a radically different scenario, but my anxiety was in constant overdrive when I briefly lived with some roommates. Not their fault, just my own.

Anyway, when I moved out from my roommate scenario, it was like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was so much more content in my own safe space.

Obviously my scenario was different than yours, but the common denominator is an environment that is bad for your mental health.

If you’re able to move out, it will be easier to either cut the cord entirely or have a more meaningful relationship with your mom.

Lmao hi me

Thank you. People in my life always seem to disagree. It’s hard when there isn’t external validation.

I’ve always been broken in that regard I guess. How do I make vibrations feel good?

Lmaoo

Maybe my vision just isn’t good enough, but the individual ticks for the minute hand are so small that I have difficulty without holding the watch closer to my face and studying it for a moment if it’s close to the next minute but not there yet. I don’t have old eyes either lol. It’s just small. Maybe a wall clock would be easier to see quickly.

Yeah it seems like most of the comments here that actually understood my question (many of them seem to think I’m asking for instructions on how to read the hours and minutes) seem to have this kind of attitude. The attitude that analog clocks aren’t necessarily for precision, but for a general “vibe” for lack of a better term at what time it is. I guess having constant connection to Internet clocks with precise minutes and seconds has made me pretty anal about time for whatever reason. I guess maybe I need to learn to chill out more?? Lol

Yeah it syncs to my phone which is also always constantly connected to the internet.

I have a non internet connected cheapo digital clock in my room and it goes off by a minute or so now and then and it bothers me enough to have to change it lol.

I get what you mean. I think it might vary by which watch face I am using on my particular watch. I notice that in general the minute hand for the face I am using is very granular…it definitely doesn’t just stop at the minute marks or even just halfway in between the minute marks. The one I am using seems to be more fluid than that. I was watching it closely just now and I see the minute hand ticking away ever so slightly as the second hand moves.

This isn’t a problem with “the school system”. I know how to read an analog clock. But it’s not something I have ever done daily and so I have never been in practice with it.

Half of the comments here seem to be confused by my question, instead simply instructing me how to read an analog clock in general.

That wasn’t the question or my issue.

On a wristwatch, the space between the numbers of the minute hand is pretty small. I am not elderly, but it is difficult for me to see quickly precisely at what tick mark the minute hand is at… especially if it is getting to be toward the next minute and I don’t realize.

One user suggested to briefly also glance at the second hand when I need more precision, which seems to help alleviate part of the problem that I describe.