Damn I’m really sorry to hear you don’t like it. :(

What did you do beforehand if you don’t mind me asking?

My mom was a stay at home parent for all of my life. In her early 50s, she ended up going to college in order to become a nurse. Been over 10 years now and she’s still a nurse.

I would say it’s only ever really too late if you’re beyond working age or nearly there. Because at that point you’re no longer working toward a career.

The real issue is whether or not you have finances and a support system to get you there.

In my mom’s case, she had a husband who already was the only breadwinner anyway, so it didn’t cause much of a financial impact per se. My mom ended up taking out student loans like everyone else, of course, but student loans are seen much more favorably than credit card debt.

I have a friend who is going back to college right now in order to get a better job. In their scenario, their parent let them move back in while they get an education.

I ended up eventually going to an intensive grad school where many of us had to move and we also did not have time to work during the program. There, I met plenty of people who already married, already had careers, etc…and yet they still managed to survive and get through the program just fine. (Again, remember we all took out loans lol.)

Then you hear online about med students having children while going through med school and residency. Sounds like hell, but they manage to do it.

But also, the career you seek should be worth it. Don’t go back to school to do one of those dumb “ingegrative studies” degree or whichever one they call it when you couldn’t pick a major lmao. Won’t net you anything.

Similarly, it wouldn’t make sense someone in their 50s to attempt to go to med school. The return on investment is just not there for the amount of effort and loan debt if you consider how many working years you have left. Yet, as I said, it was worth it for my mom to become a nurse because she never worked before and it allowed her to be able to earn a living wage sooner and with less debt. The return on investment for her was greater.

Point is, I don’t think it’s a matter of “too late”, but rather a matter of…

1. Life circumstances
2. The specific career you are working towards

I mean, AliExpress is great, but for many things I’m really just not interested in waiting 2 weeks for my item.

You said don’t buy directly from brands, but that’s the main thing others in this post are recommending lol.

Thing is if I bought that item from Amazon instead of Samsung, they would have immediately rectified the mistake instead of making me fight for it. And the item would have come sooner. So it’s still a win for Amazon.

I still do get why people don’t want to use Amazon for moral reasons, but again, they simply provide a massively superior experience than literally any other retailer I’ve used.

I don’t get why multiple people in this post are recommending AliExpress over Amazon. Like yeah it’s cheaper and more from the direct source…but not everyone wants to wait a month to receive the item they want to buy. I’ve seen some items on AliExpress advertise that they now have “faster shipping”, but it’s still very very slow in comparison…still taking multiple weeks in my experience.

There is a reason why Amazon got big over other online retailers. Even the online shops for many brick and mortar stores end up making you pay more for the item, make you pay a sizeable fee for the shipping, and make you wait 1-2 weeks all on top of that. Not to mention that if your order does get fucked up or you do get scammed on Amazon, they are very quick to give you your money back because they know it helps with customer satisfaction.

I had an issue with an online order from Samsung before. And despite also being a massive company with shittons of money, they gave me a hard time and I really had to fight to rectify their own mistake.

I get Amazon is evil and all but there’s a reason why they are the most used shopping platform. If no one else comes even remotely close to what they do, they aren’t going to gain much of a foothold.

I always love the nonsensical order of letters that these companies use.

Lol I won’t accuse you of spam. Don’t worry.

Do you take anything now?

I was initially on an SSRI but it didn’t help with that sort of thing either for me and I was also wondering if I was making me worse. :( The psych provider switched me to lamotrigine because I was still struggling and it was failing to alleviate that, but I’m not sure if this is harming my brain. I’m probably just some science experiment where they are fucking my brain up for fun.

Lamotrigine is actually specifically for the depressive part of bipolar disorder is the thing tho. I don’t have that…but if I did, it’s designed to help it.

200 mg is really absolutely not a wild dose. It is generally seen as the minimum therapeutic dose for conditions like bipolar disorder. The standard titration schedule is over several months, not several years.

It’s really frustrating that I seem to have a “paradoxical reaction” to like every psych med.

I have been under intense interpersonal workplace stress for many months now before I even started taking this drug and no med is helping me. :(

She incessantly does that. She basically sits there and tells me to find a way to deal with it. It’s frustrating to me though. Like if I knew, I wouldn’t be there. And things just keep getting worse and worse and I’m destroying my career and relationships. Honestly I just don’t know what to do at this point, I’m at a loss

Hey man that sounds great! I’ve personally tried a lot of “indirect” approaches myself and haven’t had much luck…eating right, consistent intense exercise, getting a furry companion, etc.

One thing is that I’ve found also is that you can kind of do a sort of “self therapy” with particular kinds of books. Not vague self help books, but books with actual research behind them. This one in particular was recommended to me:

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/

Now, I get that this particular therapy modality is not for everyone or every kind of issue. And I recognize that not everyone enjoys this rigid approach. But I’ve become desperate for something with research behind it that has the potential to help.

I sought out a specific therapist with this modality recently and interviewed/grilled her on the intake session. I was happy to hear her bring up this book unprompted and she said she goes through the program in the same rigid way.

I’m probably going to be dropping my current “talk therapist” for her, but we’ll see how things progress. Luckily I have the “luxury” right now with taking a few sessions with each before I decide.

BUT the point is that this book is designed in a way that it can also be used alone and not necessarily guided by a specific mental health professional.

Good luck out there, man.

Therapy is fucking expensive. Learning that the hard way right now. I hate how the modern thing people just throw out to others nowadays is “get therapy”. I’ve had many people tell me that and quite frankly it’s offensive. It just absolves people from responsibility of actually giving a fuck about you.

When sessions cost $150 a pop, it’s not fucking feasible for most. Thankfully in a position where I can afford that at the moment, but I recognize that many can’t.

Plus there are so many fucking shit therapists that do nothing to help you in the real world. “Talk therapy” seems to be so commonplace with them and it’s just not useful for actually “getting better”. It’s not only financially difficult to find a decent therapist, but also mentally…as you’re having to rehash your story over and over again until you find one that can actually fucking help.

I’m still trying but it’s offensive as fuck when people in my life get frustrated with me for “not making progress” in therapy when they aren’t giving me actionable things to do.

Yeah I thought I had found one of the “good ones”. They were my best friend for years until they totally and completely rejected and abandoned me during the toughest time in my life. Because I was inconvenient for them. I’ve been an internet dweller all my life due to social anxiety. And I know that’s the only place now that I can really find safety and comfort, not the “real world”.

We are still friends now but it shattered the illusion of what I thought existed. And it is difficult at times to like them now. I feel even crazier flipping from liking them to hating them. Never felt that before with anyone.

They aren’t a friend I can just “leave” because we work together.

I thought I did, but unfortunately no. It was pretty world shattering. I guess I know to be more careful now at least.

It’s interesting to me some of the relationships people have with their parents. I love my mom, but I don’t think I could ever tell her I was struggling. I never really have I don’t think.

Recently my job threatened to fire me, my friend abandoned me, and then I had to go on FMLA for mental health reasons as a result. Never told her a word.

Yeah OP can you expand on what this means exactly and what your intent is? Are you just planning to vent your traumas? I feel like you don’t need a specific group for that. You can do it anywhere online.

Update 2: The therapist I grilled today actually showed me the generic version of this book (not the anxiety one) unprompted so I think that’s a good sign. She said she works with the book with you.

Update…I sat down with it last night and it started ok but then I got triggered really badly and had to stop because I was really distressed lol.

I have access to hydroxyzine (which I honestly don’t use…it’s like Benadryl and was given to me in case I ever need trouble sleeping which I don’t). Don’t laugh but I was consulting chatgpt and it gave me the idea to try taking it before I do any of these DBT workbooks and stuff to help me relax. Gonna give it a shot and see what happens!

Yeah I’m going to be very direct in the next session about this. So I’m still giving her another chance, but I don’t know how well it will be followed through. I like her a lot as a person, but I’m not overly optimistic. I also didn’t entirely know how therapy really worked and what I needed in therapy before recently, so it’s been a ride. My therapist is also tied to my psych provider (who also may be mildly incompetent), so it’s a bit of a mildly tricky scenario.

I also went a bit “nuts” and scheduled intake sessions with 3 therapists within the next several days that say they practice DBT and are familiar with personality disorders in their “conditions they treat” area. I’m going to be blunt and direct with all of them. Like I said…in the past I didn’t know what I needed but I do now.

Problem is I’m going to have to suss out between these 4 people which can help me out before scheduling a million sessions with each.

Ok but wtf is this image it’s tripping me out

Goddamn I feel you, bro. I learned recently that the world is filled with assholes. Nothing you say or do is going to make people treat you like a human being if they weren’t going to to begin with.

This realization helped me internally to no longer hate myself, but I’m a bit stuck as to where to go from here. I guess I’ll be chatting with my therapist about this sort of thing tomorrow.

What’s your scenario exactly?

Hey listen, man. I know you’re freaking out rn (hopefully you’re freaking out less so at the moment), but you’re not necessarily gonna get out on an involuntary hold. Providers DON’T really love doing that. Be honest and tell them you have some degree suicidal ideation, but don’t say you have a plan to do it off the bridge right now. They don’t commit patients solely for suicidal ideation unless they are stupid. Most patients coming in for psych help feel this. It’s relatively “normal” and not something they are quick to “throw you in the brig” for.

If you have panic attacks, you should ask a provider about propranolol. It’s technically a blood pressure med but it also is given for panic attacks! It will decrease your heart rate and blood pressure which will make your heart stop racing and help you to stop panicking over it. You just take it when you’re panicking and wait a bit for it to kick in to calm down. Honestly might help you a ton! It’s not an addictive, feel good med like benzos at all whatsoever.

Baseline anxiety they might want to give you an SSRI and do therapy, but you don’t necessarily have to commit to that right away if it’s too much or too expensive to deal with rn.