• 1 Post
  • 17 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
cake
Cake day: July 12th, 2023

help-circle
  • For me it’s communication, honesty, openness, willingness to listen, and acceptance of where the person is coming from in their reactions and emotions. This is a result of childhood trauma and any long-term traumatic experience. CPTSD (complex PTSD), if you’d like to read about it. This kind of thing is learned below a conscious level so you can’t just logic yourself out of the reaction, it’s almost hard coded. Working together helps both of you figure out how to handle it, unfortunately there is no trick. It takes time and work and patience and love.











  • I went through menopause just a few years ago. It threw everything into an upheaval. Thank goodness I didn’t have a partner to be like this to, but therapy definitely helped. She is absolutely going through a lot, physically and mentally, and will be for years. I still have hot flash episodes for weeks at a time and it’s always different.

    Your feelings are valid. You have every right to them. Just because someone is going through chemical changes in their body doesn’t mean they can abuse you like this. Telling you that you have no right to your feelings is emotional abuse and she has no right to do that to you. You both need help to get through this, whether separate or together, but this is all new and for you to be told to sit down and shut up is just heartbreaking. Everything happening to her is also happening to you because it seems to me that she’s taking it all out on you and yeah, that affects you.

    You are not dumb or stupid. You are caring and sympathetic to what she’s going through, and she reacts to this with hostility and arrogance. I can’t imagine anyone is obligated to put up with that from anyone, for any reason. It might change in time, but not if she never acknowledges the validity of your feelings and your right to have them.

    I’m so sorry this is happening to you.








  • I bit the bullet in 2017 and got a Stearns and Foster mattress set. I think it was less than $2k for the set, queen size, at City Mattress, and they had a “zero percent interest for a year” thing going on. It’s one of the best purchases I’ve ever made.

    You’ll find them for much higher prices online, it was going to the store that got me the deal. Find a mattress store near you that carries that brand and you may find a deal, too. It’ll save your back and you’ll sleep so much better.