• RBWells@lemmy.world
    2·
    6 天前

    The unbrawlah. Any violence ends when you get within a meter or so of the umbrella when open. Not bounces off like a forcefield but like a zone of safety.

  • extremeboredom@lemmy.worldEnglish
    42·
    10 天前

    Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.

    • antrosapien@lemmy.ml
      4·
      9 天前

      Then you will need a secondary umbrella for primary, watsr and electricity go boom boom together

      • extremeboredom@lemmy.worldEnglish
        6·
        9 天前

        Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It’s Type C!

        With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.

    • tetris11@feddit.ukOPEnglish
      8·
      10 天前

      Let’s air pass through, but only one-way? Could potentially use it to Mary Poppins out of a situation

  • felsiq@piefed.zipEnglish
    13·
    9 天前

    I’d put the unlimited budget to work miniaturizing a drone fleet powerful enough to maintain position / reliably follow the user thru storm winds that hold a large umbrella-style cover over you.

    I never use umbrellas cuz I feel like they’re annoying to carry and you still get wet, but if it just reliably kept me dry with no extra work on my part I’d be more interested.

    • tetris11@feddit.ukOPEnglish
      32·
      9 天前

      the song “jesus walks” has to play full volume fron the drone speakers when this happens

  • Remy Rose@piefed.socialEnglish
    11·
    9 天前

    It’s absolutely bananas that this would come up now, because I’m almost finished designing one in FreeCAD lol. Is it in the zeitgeist right now or something? Is it because the most recent No Kings had a yellow umbrella theme?

    Mind you, I’m very untalented at CAD, just doing it for funsies and to learn the Assembly workbench. I will upload it to ManyFold when it’s done and tested though if anyone’s interested.

    I’m hoping it’ll be sturdy enough to survive blunt impacts, and able to slow down some weaker munitions, but it’s gonna be on the heavy side. Expecting it to cost roughly $100 worth of parts. You could definitely build it WAY cheaper but I’m going all high quality.

  • ashenone@lemmy.ml
    10·
    10 天前

    Its a Mary Poppins umbrella that floats you gently to the ground. And a laser shoots from the top.

  • Tracaine@lemmy.world
    8·
    10 天前

    Integrated fleshlight in the handle. Screen on the underside of the umbrella for videos. Bullet resistant outer shell that expands into a small tent.

  • Zak@lemmy.world
    102·
    10 天前

    If you did it today, it wouldn’t be the first. Here are some:

    • The Unbreakable Umbrella is the first one I can recall hearing of. It’s heavy (775g) and made of a composite material the manufacturer claims is good for hitting people.
    • The Streetwise Stunbrella conceals an electroshock weapon inside an umbrella.
    • Security Umbrella is another umbrella marketed as suitable for hitting people.
    • “Bulgarian umbrellas” are poison pellet guns built into umbrellas, intended for murder.
    • Windlass Steelcrafts sells an umbrella which conceals a rapier. There appear to be several similar products from other companies.
    • ICCrawler@lemmy.world
      3·
      9 天前

      “Stunbrella” is great. Top name. Slap a flashlight in the bottom of the handle, which can also be unscrewed off to unsheath a tanto-knife styled blade for piercing and prying (the flashlight end would essentially be the handle/pommel of this knife.)

  • panda_abyss@lemmy.ca
    7·
    10 天前

    It has a stash of termites inside that can be injected into wooden structures for very slow infiltration of wooden doors and structures.