Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.

How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.

  • spirinolas@lemmy.world
    11·
    1 year ago

    As a guy your looks aren’t worth much if your confidence is shot (and it usually is after being dumped). That’s one of the reasons girls toss themselves at you when you’re taken but the moment you’re dumped and your self-esteems plummets they vanish.

    The way you talk, the way you walk, your whole posture changes. And women have a sixth sense for that.

    In my case, I had a girl who had already showed interest in me before (I said no because I was taken) so it was a no brainer. After that it was a matter of not trying too hard. Don’t talk a girl trying to get in her pants. Just talk to her, share interests, like you would do with a guy. When you’re not trying, you’re not afraid to fail and you become more confident. Be open minded. Chances are she’ll start throwing signs she’s interested and that’s when you take her queue.

    The most good-looking women I was with in that time were both women I told myself from day 1 “she’s out of my league, I’ll just enjoy her friendship”. I was cool with myself and it just happened eventually. One broke my heart though, and the other was a psycho so…there’s that XD

    If you still can’t do it, just try what most men have done since time immemorial. Lower your standards. It will help to regain your confidence.