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Dunkan2@lemmy.world to Comic Strips@lemmy.world · 4 months ago

If men flirted like birds

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If men flirted like birds

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Dunkan2@lemmy.world to Comic Strips@lemmy.world · 4 months ago
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  • tal@lemmy.today
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    4 months ago

    Ehh…

    https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1992-05-10-we-2559-story.html

    The Duck Wars : Mating season is a brutal time for the female birds, who often are injured or die. Residents along the canals have created a sanctuary.

    This is mating season, and, as the ducks’ human friends will tell you, it’s no Disney movie. These are ducks out of a Far Side cartoon, says one observer: They should have jackets that read “Hell’s Waterfowl.”

    The ducks of the Venice canals, most of them crossbred mallards officially known as urban domesticated ducks, engage in mating behavior that is hard on the females in the best of times. A female that wanders near a group of males will be mounted again and again. Females that escape alive drag themselves out of the water stripped of the feathers on their heads and backs. Some lose an eye.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      You can’t just leave out the most important part!

      The ducks’ dicks, which are surprisingly long and twisting, will forcefully and rapidly grow inside the female. I can only imagine the pain and the struggle. This has led to an evolutionary arms race between the sexes, where females have evolved dead-ends in their vaginas in an effort to curb impregnation from rape.

      Isn’t nature wonderful?

      • ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org
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        4 months ago

        Corkscrew penis is what it’s called at least in Germany and I think this is pretty accurate…

      • deathmetal27@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Reminds me of that “Scientifically accurate Duck Tales” animation. It’s nearly impossible to find these days.

        • CrayonRosary@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          So, so hard to find. 😛

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x6ebdpM-UQ

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Daaaaaaaamn. This should be a horror movie concept. A group of college students on campus hear stories of wild orgies down by the lake.

      The ones who investigate and participate enter a world of pain. An orgy so hardcore, body hair gets ripped off, and you’re lucky to make it out alive.

      Like Freddie Kruger, but horny!

    • LittleBrownBird@lemmy.zip
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      4 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • Zink@programming.dev
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        4 months ago

        Would you rather be lost in a strange canal with a random man or a random duck?

        • LittleBrownBird@lemmy.zip
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          4 months ago

          deleted by creator

        • LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Oh God not this debate again

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I mean, both humans and animal flirt like all of the panels.

    Plants on the other hand are more kinky.

    • wabafee@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      You got me interested, you gotta share more.

      • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Just indiscriminately jizz in the air, all over yourself and your lovers kilometres away … and make anything in between breathe it.

        But after a few 100 million years some invertebrate cucks offered (their faces and asses) to personally transport the jizz to suitable partners, so you can do that now if you are into it.

        • Vespair@lemm.ee
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          4 months ago

          You should absolutely teach science classes

          • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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            4 months ago

            Well, jizz wouldn’t be the accurate term then, but you gotta keep them interested, right?

            But I would try to keep it accurate, after all, trees are just a kind of furry (leaffy?). Just look how juicy their juices are.

            Or this jizzery: youtube/AlmH_33QCu8

            • AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee
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              4 months ago

              Put a fucking NSFW tag on that shit

              • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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                4 months ago

                Never been to a furry&leaffy con, have you?

        • kakler bitmap@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          If female cannabis plants don’t get the jizz they crave, their flowers get all plump and sticky as they cry out “plz pollinate me, daddy”

        • wabafee@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Kinky

        • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Great…now I will never ever blow a dandelion nor touch a touch-me-not again.

          • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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            4 months ago

            Harder!
            I mean, yes, you don’t have to, but it would be pretty cool if you did.

        • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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          4 months ago

          Yellow Pines are the Peter North of trees.

        • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 months ago

          It occurs to me to ask, is this why you’re evil?

  • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space
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    4 months ago

    Or they’d open their window and sing out “wanna fuck?”

    • remotelove@lemmy.ca
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      4 months ago

  • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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    4 months ago

    I mean the house would more like the pile of junk and the dancing would be naked and the pile of junk would be like the shiniest one thing from the pile. Could you imagine if women reacted favorably to such simple expressions. fourth panel would be I bought you dinner.

  • vga@sopuli.xyz
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    4 months ago

    I mean successful men flirt like this actually

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    Second and third one kinda happens even if on a smaller scale

    • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      First also happens but they end relationships rather than start one. How many marriages have failed because of a DIY reno project that halted progress for years.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    Ummmm, who’s going to tell them?

  • Toldry@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    i showed u my dick cloaca pls respond

    • hakunawazo@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

  • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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    4 months ago

    As someone who just got 2 dick pics a few minutes i just want to say that it does work a lot of the time.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      …rip your inbox.

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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        4 months ago

        Ha! Honestly, sure, anyone reading this, if you wanna send your pics, go right ahead. Lmao. It’s not going to bother me. Once you’ve seen your first 100 nothing much shocks you anymore, and I’ve seen way more than that.

        • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Don’t just ask for pics like that! Start charging for rating dicks. Yay capitalism!

          • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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            4 months ago

            Hey, now, don’t tempt me with my dream career

    • AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca
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      4 months ago

      Caveat Emptor my friend

  • Aeri@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Point of order aren’t bird calls basically just “SEX?”

  • Godric@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    How birds actually flirt:

    https://youtu.be/LNC6ODsdul0

  • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 months ago

    I may be wrong, but I think a lot of birds do basically exactly that

  • owl@infosec.pub
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    4 months ago

    This is kind of meme, that if I had a brother (hypothetically that is, I don’t have one) and he would send it to my girlfriend (again hypotheical, I dont have one), I would see this as a kind of betryal. Would anyone agree?

  • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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    4 months ago

    i like how men = white

    • Solumbran@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      It’s a drawing, not a statistical representation of the population. How do you even know it’s not the same guy?

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        4 months ago

        don’t be hating on white men

    • cally [he/they]@pawb.social
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      4 months ago

      It’s the same guy in the panels

    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      You are exactly who trump supporters imagine when they call people “triggered libs.”

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        4 months ago

        Nice try Elon ; we all know you like to attack strangers on the internet

    • Nythos@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      Get a grip

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        4 months ago

        I did ; on your dads wee wee. 😎

    • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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      4 months ago

      hair dye?

    • CrayonRosary@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I, too, strive to be offended several times a day. I really go out of my way to make it possible by taking everything I see in the most pessimistic way possible. It gives me perverse comfort to feel like a victim all the time.

      • 4oreman@lemy.lol
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        4 months ago

        makes sense.

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