So there is this guy at my college (UK) and he is a monarchist and definitely right wing and the topic of Daunte Wright’s Murder came up in conversation and he was excusing the cops actions, which is just disgusting. He was saying that down to nerves the cop didn’t realise it was a gun and also brought up that Daunte had a warrant on him, which I have not heard of.

So the guy is a **** and burden on society (makes racist, homophobic, transphobic jokes) and at the time I wanted to prove him wrong and educate his ass but I didn’t know how, so how can I deal with a situation like this?

  • @Jeffrey@lemmy.ml
    16•3 years ago

    “the guy is a **** and burden on society … I wanted to prove him wrong and educate his ass”

    This guy is not your enemy, and there isn’t a fight to win, there’s no zinger or quip that is going to cause him to have an epiphany. In order to have any productive conversation you must genuinely listen to him, find things you have in common, and establish trust in each-other.

    Braver Angels is an organization doing incredible work to repair the political division in the US. Below are some of their strategies for facilitating 1:1 conversations across a divide:

    • Emphasizes storytelling, listening, and learning rather than declaring or debating.
    • Both people share and learn. Neither is teaching the other or giving feedback about how to think or say things differently.
    • Participants take turns responding to a series of questions of increasing depth, with the other person listening without cross talk, and then sharing what they learned about the other’s views and experiences, and seeing if there is something in common.
    • Ends with both people coming up with action ideas to make a difference.
    • After the structured conversations are over, participants often decide to continue talking to each other in unstructured conversations. This allows them to dig deeper into issues, ask the other’s opinion about current events, and keep up with their partner’s health, pets, children and grandchildren.

    I just listened to an excellent podcast today which interviewed the CEO of Search for Common Ground a peace building organization, I think you might get a lot out of hearing some of the stories he tells and thinking about how you can approach conflicts in your own life.

    There is certainly more going on beneath the surface of your acquaintance’s beliefs; he has valid experiences and thoughts that support his beliefs even if they are inaccurate interpretations of reality. Figure out why he thinks the way he does by hearing his stories. Be kind, and approach with an open mindset ready to learn about him. Then, you can share your own stories that inform your beliefs.

    • FlufficatOP
      3•3 years ago

      Thanks, I don’t view him as an enemy I want to broaden his mind. some common ground would be good and I’ll have a look at those articles