• lelkins@lemmygrad.ml
    1·
    20 hours ago

    i feel like i am having problems in the inner self and i do not know how to react

    how the fuck do i say this without breaking multiple rules? i can’t afford therapy and job hunting sucked my soul out 5 years ago

  • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
    6·
    1 day ago

    I’ve been using an MMO to help distract me from emotional eating, which as odd as it might sound, has worked so far (albeit not without some hard days). But I think the forums for the MMO are making things harder. It’s sort of habitual for me to want to involve myself in forums for stuff, but the forums for the game in question are tinted by corporate bootlicking as many western forums for products are. I was thinking about it today and what a lot of the behavior there reminds me of is the Narcissist’s Prayer. Somebody will post a complaint about the game, or a polite ask for something to be added to it or for something to be different about it, and the spirit of like half the replies will go something like: “That’s not a valid thing to say. And if it is, it’s not a big deal. And if it is a big deal, it’s not the company’s fault. And if it is the company’s fault, it’s because you deserved it. And if you didn’t deserve it, well fuck you anyway for saying things about other things, I am mad at the world and hate everyone and everything.”

    Then these same kind of people will suddenly remember what a valid complaint or request is when they have a complaint or request of their own. It very much mimics the reactionary stuff you see in USian politics.

    • lelkins@lemmygrad.ml
      2·
      20 hours ago

      idk why but this reminded me of those pro gamers that ask for the games to be changed but ONLY with changes they claim as “good for all players” when in fact it helps them

      like dream fortnite asking for glowing tentafish in square buildagame (i mean dream apparently making his fans vote for the glowsquid instead of anything else because it apparently hinders speedrunning less, i heard shit like this)

  • Nocheztli ☭@lemmygrad.ml
    11·
    2 days ago

    At this point anyone who supports AOC is an open fascist in my view. No nuances, no buts, no ifs. Death to America and death to Israel.

  • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
    61·
    2 days ago

    It bothers me how normal it is for people to advocate stuff like “fake it til you make it” on confidence. Rephrased, they’re basically saying “lie about who you are until you start believing your own lies.”

    Like what about vulnerability and being vulnerable. Why not instead of “fake it til you make it”, something more like “be real about who you are until you’re okay with letting other people see you.” Are people just so terrified of being real with each other, is the culture punishing that kind of honesty, I wonder.

    • Commiejones@lemmygrad.ml
      1·
      22 hours ago

      The word “fake” is a way of validating the feeling of imposter syndrome while encouraging people to push past it. The phrase is not about tricking other people. It is about tricking yourself. You are faking away your feelings of incompetence but they are often unjustified.

      Its more effective than using a positive affirmation like “you are better than you think you are” because it allows people to keep feeling what they are feeling until reality proves otherwise. “you are better than you think you are” allows people to limit how much better they are while still undervaluing their capability. “Fake it till you make it” lets people feel like they suck until they realize that they really don’t and never did.

      Vulnerability is nice but not if it is coming from low self esteem or unfounded emotions. If you don’t tell yourself that you are capable of doing something you will never be capable of it. Pushing your boundaries is the only way to find the true extent of your capabilities.

      The saying is a way of conquering imposter syndrome. The advice is that you need to practice being the person you want to be instead of allowing unfounded fears stop you from trying.

      • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
        1·
        10 hours ago

        That’s an interesting take on it and one that seems like overall a valid way to make use of the phrase in practice, but I’ve never gotten the impression that most people using the phrase are talking about overcoming imposter syndrome. I’d think if they were, they would be explaining that’s what it is about and I have no recollection of any association between the two, so if people have done so explicitly before, it’s probably not something I personally heard.

        That said, I have to disagree on some of the specifics:

        Vulnerability is nice but not if it is coming from low self esteem or unfounded emotions. If you don’t tell yourself that you are capable of doing something you will never be capable of it. Pushing your boundaries is the only way to find the true extent of your capabilities.

        This seems like a confused understanding of what vulnerability is. Vulnerability isn’t supposed to be pretty and cool and presented just right. The whole point of vulnerability is being real about things and that could include low self esteem, it could include worries, insecurities, or also hopes, dreams, goals, etc. It’s something that some of us more than others struggle with, at least in part due to fearing being taken advantage of or used in some way, because there is a real risk with vulnerability that what you share might be used against you. This is part of what I’m touching on when I say “is the culture punishing that kind of honesty, I wonder,” i.e. is the actual cultural norms encouraging people to use others’ vulnerable stuff against them in one way or another.

        So to invalidate vulnerability if it is “coming from low self esteem or unfounded emotions” is invalidating a critical part of what vulnerability is. And, in fact, I’d argue that the way you’re framing use of the phrase “fake it til you make it” is an individualist solution to what could be healthier in a community capacity, if people trusted each other more and were more reliant on one another. It doesn’t actually address what is causing the insecurity in the first place and it builds no bonds with other people over shared struggles.

        If you don’t tell yourself that you are capable of doing something you will never be capable of it.

        This sounds straight out of a motivational seminar and simply doesn’t make sense. The part that follows, about pushing your boundaries, makes more sense. What you tell yourself doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with it. A kid learning to ride a bike doesn’t need to get into mental gymnastics about telling themself they’re a good bike rider in order to do it, they just need to get a feel for it until it starts building in their muscle memory. They may try to avoid doing it at all if they believe they are incapable, that much is true, limiting beliefs are a thing and can be a problem, but the belief doesn’t prevent competence itself, it just is likely to get in the way of action. I’ve heard it’s common, for example, for people in software to have imposter syndrome. This doesn’t mean software is rife with incompetents because of their beliefs about themselves. They’re still good programmers, many of them, they just don’t see it.

        And the flip side of this is that it’s possible to overrate your own competence too. Sometimes this can get you far because of charisma and the like, when you aren’t actually that qualified, which is counter to having reliable expertise in a field. But if things are based on a ladder of social status and needing to climb the ladder to be materially better off, some people are going to take full advantage of that.

    • DornerStan@lemmygrad.ml
      2·
      1 day ago

      Great comment!

      It makes things difficult in IRL leftist circles where everyone has different exposure to theory and different abilities to engage with theory. Not understanding something is seen as a weakness so everyone has to pretend they understand it, and thus conversation ends up being really shallow and unproductive. The worst a person can do is say something “incorrect” and prove they’re not a “real” leftist.

      Like, to convince people of things you have to appear confident. But to learn things you have to be humble/vulnerable. And our culture makes it difficult to code switch.

    • redchert@lemmygrad.ml
      2·
      1 day ago

      Its capitalist superstructure. Social capital accumulation (prestige) by providing the desired discourse.

    • mjackxson@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      damn, that’s deep. you have a good point! why even “fake it”? why do people even want to “make it”? very good questions to ask and think about!!

  • KrupskayaPraxis@lemmygrad.ml
    4·
    2 days ago

    I was at a pride event today, and one of the speakers was from a queer refugee help organisation. With him were some queer refugees, some of which were from the USA. And yet the USA is seen as a safe country by the Dutch government.

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
    6·
    2 days ago

    Went to take care of my sis in laws garden as she is on holiday. Beautiful garden with native plants and edible things.

    I was scraping weeds from between the tiles when her MIL walked in (husbands mother). When she saw me doing that she said her husband had some Roundup I could use so it would be quicker.

    Nearly threw a spade at her head. Fucking Roundup lmao. Yes let me use fucking poison in an edible garden where a cat and a child chill in a regular basis. For some weeds.

    I swear to God some people just want to see the world burn.

    I kindly explained why that would be a bad idea and she could see my point.

  • 小莱卡@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
    6·
    3 days ago

    lol found out a new yeonmi park, dont wanna link her videos but her youtube channel is hanaya, it’s exactly what you expect “north korean goes to supermarket 1st time” and that sort of stuff 😂 can these people get creative ffs?

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
    14·
    4 days ago

    We managed to stop a weapons shipment going through our port. Even a judge has now ruled it illegal. A while ago one did go through and we increased pressure, with success.

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
    6·
    4 days ago

    Austrian neo nazi Felix Baumgartner, famous for jumping from high altitudes, died today doing what he loved. Jumping from high altitudes.

    Rest in piss.

  • SlayGuevara@lemmygrad.ml
    7·
    5 days ago

    So the main stage of a festival nearby burned down just now (Tomorrowland, huge festival). Not only are people treating it like some 9/11 (festival didn’t start, nobody hurt), the media were spreading fake AI images of a burned down stage as well. Scary stuff. Guess that happens when you need to be the first to get the clicks.

    • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
      4·
      2 days ago

      Thank you! This went viral on twitter and I found the name of the project, it’s the ragwon offshore fishing farm. With this I was able to find more pictures, going to see about making a page for it on prolewiki

      There’s a LOT more pictures on google but I won’t saturate the grad’s server with them lol

      • rainpizza@lemmygrad.ml
        2·
        2 days ago

        I am glad that I was able to help!

        If there is interest for this, I can probably make posts of my findings along with pictures on c/korea

        • CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml
          2·
          2 days ago

          non-editors can edit content pages or even create them now on ProleWiki (it just logs your IP), however you can’t upload pictures but you can use them if they’re already uploaded. I just need to get around to uploading a bunch of pictures about it on PW and then anyone will be able to add to the page. If you google ragwon county offshore farm a lot of information comes up so there’s plenty of sources to pick from.