I’m so secure that my wife’s boyfriend told me he was taking her away to the cabin for the weekend and I decided I’d have the guys over for a poker night. They’re just good friends.
Just because you wouldn’t be doesn’t mean everyone is the same, people have feelings. Even polyamorous people get jealous at times, it’s a normal thing.
Be as secure as you will, if you see your SO in a romance scene in a typical hig h profile movie with all the right camera angles and music and all… it’s bound to do at least something to you, right?
Not really. Especially when you know what goes into filming them. From modesty underwear to lighting to 30 people around you just doing their thing for the production.
As a spouse of an actor you’d think you know just how “fake” the music and emotional impact is.
Yeah, and that something can be communicated. But at the end of the day it’s their job. I follow a therapist on YouTube that talks about his wife’s modeling career on occasion and he never really cared. He saw the work that goes into it and knows it’s just that - work. I think on the rare occasions it did bring up some feelings of jealousy he communicated the insecurity and got reassurance from her. That obviously worked well enough that they’ve been married a couple decades.
On the work end, keep in mind how many times they have to shoot scenes/photos and how extremely unromantic/inauthentic it is.
I’m not suggesting that they might assume any of the acted scene had real feelings behind it. Yet still, visually seeing your SO seemingly doing intimate stuff will make you feel something. You might not be jealous or anything, yet still. That has nothing to do with insecurity. You can feel awkward without jealousy, can’t you?
As a former polyamoric person, here’s how I (still) think of it:
You can’t control your feelings (they are merely physical reactions to situations) but you can control how you deal with them. Or how you act on them.
So in a sense, in my opinion, you’re both correct.
There are plenty of people who are completely comfortable with their partners being strippers or porn stars. It’s just their work at the end of the day.
I’m sure plenty of people don’t really feel anything about it.
There are plenty of people who are completely comfortable with their partners being strippers or porn stars.
From a purely logical standpoint, given the number of strippers and porn stars out there, that statement must be true. It’s not quite something I can wrap my head around though.
there are also people who genuinely feel happy for their SOs in these situations. Compersion is real and fucking wonderful. not enough people know 'bout it.
I mean, it comes down to jealousy, right? And that’s an emotion… You can’t really control your emotions
I think it’s more a matter of “is this a deal breaker”. Some people just might avoid those movies, some people might need to see it and get reassurance, some people can’t handle it at all. And some people just aren’t bothered - there’s people who are fine with their partner dating other people so long as they come home at the end of the night
Maybe they are not insecure?
Why do people equate being secure with being ok seeing your wife kiss another guy? You can be secure and still against it
I’m so secure that my wife’s boyfriend told me he was taking her away to the cabin for the weekend and I decided I’d have the guys over for a poker night. They’re just good friends.
I mean, that sounds like a pretty secure, polyamorous dynamic to me.
Or secure and not against it because she is buying you a car with the movie monies.
At that point it’s a sugar mommy, not a wife.
Why would you?
Just because you wouldn’t be doesn’t mean everyone is the same, people have feelings. Even polyamorous people get jealous at times, it’s a normal thing.
Be as secure as you will, if you see your SO in a romance scene in a typical hig h profile movie with all the right camera angles and music and all… it’s bound to do at least something to you, right?
Only if you care at all about them and your relationship.
Not really. Especially when you know what goes into filming them. From modesty underwear to lighting to 30 people around you just doing their thing for the production.
As a spouse of an actor you’d think you know just how “fake” the music and emotional impact is.
Yeah, and that something can be communicated. But at the end of the day it’s their job. I follow a therapist on YouTube that talks about his wife’s modeling career on occasion and he never really cared. He saw the work that goes into it and knows it’s just that - work. I think on the rare occasions it did bring up some feelings of jealousy he communicated the insecurity and got reassurance from her. That obviously worked well enough that they’ve been married a couple decades.
On the work end, keep in mind how many times they have to shoot scenes/photos and how extremely unromantic/inauthentic it is.
Psychology in Seattle, perhaps?
Hell yes, deserving listener!
Nah
No that’s the point. If you are not insecure and trust your partner then you know it’s just acting.
I’m not suggesting that they might assume any of the acted scene had real feelings behind it. Yet still, visually seeing your SO seemingly doing intimate stuff will make you feel something. You might not be jealous or anything, yet still. That has nothing to do with insecurity. You can feel awkward without jealousy, can’t you?
As a former polyamoric person, here’s how I (still) think of it: You can’t control your feelings (they are merely physical reactions to situations) but you can control how you deal with them. Or how you act on them.
So in a sense, in my opinion, you’re both correct.
And that right there is the kind of attitude that gets you into polyamoric situations.
There are plenty of people who are completely comfortable with their partners being strippers or porn stars. It’s just their work at the end of the day.
I’m sure plenty of people don’t really feel anything about it.
From a purely logical standpoint, given the number of strippers and porn stars out there, that statement must be true. It’s not quite something I can wrap my head around though.
there are also people who genuinely feel happy for their SOs in these situations. Compersion is real and fucking wonderful. not enough people know 'bout it.
I mean, it comes down to jealousy, right? And that’s an emotion… You can’t really control your emotions
I think it’s more a matter of “is this a deal breaker”. Some people just might avoid those movies, some people might need to see it and get reassurance, some people can’t handle it at all. And some people just aren’t bothered - there’s people who are fine with their partner dating other people so long as they come home at the end of the night
You are in fact the only person that can control your emotions.
You can control your reaction to your emotions, and you can change yourself.
You can’t control your emotions themselves though, just the before and after
Like, get me horny?
That’s definetly one of the possibilities. I never had a relationship with a movie star who did such scenes, so I wouldn’t know.
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Being you must suck pretty bad.
not as bad as ur mom, lmao gottem