• @Reaton@lemmy.ml
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    53 years ago

    The minimum age is also what made me delete my account on the spot. It’s inappropriate to allow adults to “meet” minors on this kind of project imo.

    • @handvat@lemmy.ml
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      23 years ago

      The minimum age is also what made me delete my account on the spot.

      Such an overreaction to be honest. If you think it’s wrong to meet up with people under 16, don’t meet up with them. As for minors, don’t allow them to meet people 3 years older than them if that’s what you’re afraid of, although it’s still an arbitrary limit. I can imagine a 16 year old open to meeting 18 year old people, there’s nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

      Look, I can go outside and meet with 16 years old as an adult. Does not mean I do it and it does not mean I support banning minors from going outside, because they might meet adult people.

      Note that I’m from a country where:

      1. The minimum age for sex is 16.. Does this mean I approve of 16 year olds having sex with, for example, 26 year olds? No. Are they allowed to, according to Dutch law? Yes, if both persons are able to consent wilfully. Note that in order to be a prostitute or to act in pornographic film, you still need to be at least 18.
      2. Online communication with a person of 16 or older with the intention of sex is allowed. I’m sure since is something that is of the main thing Alovoa provides, having a minimum age of 16 would be enough. I assume the creator is from Germany and I assume they have similar laws as the Dutch in this regard.
      3. If you’re a dad and you take your own child to the park, without the mother, you aren’t seen as a child predator.

      I’d rather have USA users disallowed from this instance rather than yet another service needing to accommodate for the prudish USA. The USA users could have their own isolated instance with their own rules. I assume USA users wouldn’t be matched with European users anyways, due to the large geographical distance.

      • @Reaton@lemmy.ml
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        3 years ago

        I’ve already explain my views in my others comments in this thread.

        Edit: And I’m from EU btw.

    • soronixa
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      23 years ago

      isn’t 16 the age of consent in some states? meaning that it’s legal for a 16 year old to date anyone they want?

      • @Reaton@lemmy.ml
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        3 years ago

        Even if the age of consent is 16 in some places, I don’t think that an adult having a relation with a minor is ethical. Therefore, I don’t want to be related to a service that doesn’t see this as an issue.

        • soronixa
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          43 years ago

          I totally understand. I think if we lived in an ideal world it wouldn’t be a problem, but definitely there are many possible ways it can be abused.

        • @quiteStraightEdge@lemmy.ml
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          13 years ago

          What does age have to do with being ethical? You think that 18 is magical unicorn gate that makes people adults? Or that if someone is younger shouldn’t be able to find sex/love partner? Or that no one lies online and forcing younger user to lie would benefit anyone, and not create situation when one lawfully adult person think that is meeting with another lawfully adult person to get drinks? Or that no 50 year old won’t create account with minimal age set up be it 18 or 16? I think lying is a problem here, not age difference.

          Yall boycotting dating app because you are afraid that a 16 year old may have sex with maybe anyone more experienced making it probably safer? Especially when this site isn’t aiming to be hook up app, but place to meet people.

          It is also very, very young project trying to do a great thing for lonely people, yet you attack it because you think that number is too low? And that’s only reason?

          How sick can you be if the first thing you think about when you see young age is rape? (I assume that is what you think?) Or that 16 year old person must be removed and can’t think for themselves? You think when you hit 18, you got some magic smartness power card and become homo sapiens?

          • @Reaton@lemmy.ml
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            13 years ago

            I don’t say nor think that being 18 makes you automatically an entirely developed person, However it gives you the status of an adult. Of course younger people should be able to find a love/sexual partner but the role of the society is to protect these younger people from possible danger. Yes, people lies online and we can’t really prevent that. Does that mean we should authorize anything to avoid getting people lying ? No. Probably that most of adult users would set the minimum age for research over 18. The thing is that we should not take a case-by-case approach to the protection of minors facing potential risk.

            The problem is more than just a problem of sex, it is a problem of relationship with unequal status of people. The fact that it is a website for meeting people and not a dating website doesn’t change the issue.

            I think it’s great to see an open-source and privacy minded project that tries to address the problem of loneliness (even more so in this time of covid). However, I can’t support a project that doesn’t try to prevent minors from being in a dangerous situation.

            As I said before, sex (and therefore also sexual assaults) is a part of but not the whole of what is problematic here. Then trying to protect minors from potential danger does not mean taking away their free will or their ability to make their own choices.

            • @quiteStraightEdge@lemmy.ml
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              23 years ago

              I don’t think that banning people below 18 will enlarge their safety. It will just push them to different platforms (that aim to use their users). I don’t see any more danger if someone uses Instagram or similar than this site. The problem lies in education of user (which I think young people are better and better with that as they grow up with technology (I hope)), not in slider that goes too low of what you prefer.

              You can meet and feel unsafe with person at any age.

              Systems have huge impact on behaviour. If Alovoa will make educating campaigns, and push wholesome message it will make much bigger change than your solution, that doesn’t address the problem (of using position amd force for own gain, and damage to others).

              I will try to use metaphor here. Let’s assume that there is a person and a match (besides other things). If you teach that person how to use this match, they will be able to warm themselves but not burn themselves down. They may hurt their fingertips trying to find how long they can hold it, but something like that you can just shake off. If you tie their hands but leave the match on the table and leave them, because of abrupt movements they may succeed in lighting it up (or get mad while trying to do that) but then fleemsy movements may lead to fire, and setting themselves ablaze. If you take that match from them, and leave the whole table still flooded in other matches, the result will be similar to above.

              I really don’t like people thinking for others and assuming everything, and getting hostile because of that. The problem layes in education and teaching, not in freedom. Technology brings us tools. There is nothing wrong in knife while you are cutting carrot, but there is something horrible wrong if you stab somone with it on purpose. Still the problem isn’t in the act itself, but why that happend; what lead to that situation and how can it be prevented in the future.

              • @Reaton@lemmy.ml
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                13 years ago

                I get and hear what you’re saying, however I do not agree with everything as I still believe in my previous statements.

                Also I’m really not hostile, I gave my arguments respectfully. As for assuming “everything” we are both doing it, just not in the same way.

                • @quiteStraightEdge@lemmy.ml
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                  23 years ago

                  I see. I stan by my words also :)

                  Hostile, in like that you are not going to use it and posting comments about it being bad in some way. You are not neutral towards it, and not for it, so you are against it (I admit that binary thinking here isn’t 100% precise).

        • @quiteStraightEdge@lemmy.ml
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          -33 years ago

          Because You find it unethicall does mean that everyone thinks that? Or it is that? And why necesarly adult would meet with minor?

          Here You see an quite unicorn project aiming to do good, and you find one detail that for you isn’t right, that shouldn’t concern you if you aren’t interested in it.

          Yeah, if you don’t like something you don’t have to use it. I just find your arguments quite narrow minded, and focusing on one possible outcome out of thosuands.

          I think this project is amazing, considering all of the toxic and human exploiting apps that exists.

          • @Reaton@lemmy.ml
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            33 years ago

            Because You find it unethicall does mean that everyone thinks that? Or it is that? And why necesarly adult would meet with minor?

            See my answer to your other comment.


            Here You see an quite unicorn project aiming to do good, and you find one detail that for you isn’t right, that shouldn’t concern you if you aren’t interested in it.

            Are you implying that the reason I am concerned about the potential risk of allowing adults to meet minors is because I myself am interested in minors? If so, I do not appreciate this fallacious insinuation at all.


            I think this project is amazing, considering all of the toxic and human exploiting apps that exists.

            See my answer to your other comment.