Aside from men being horny in the 1800s, and this being a holdover since that time, is there any actual reason why this hasn’t changed?
If society was dominated by women, would this be more likely to change?
I was sweating my ass off hiking in the hot sun, and the question has been bothering me all day after my top soaked through with sweat.
Man here
If you ladies wanna walk around shirtless at the gym and work out I personally have no objection and I promise I won’t say a word to you.
However you are going get looks, a lot of them.
In many countries in public spaces women can be topless wherever men can. Sadly it doesn’t mean they feel safe/comfortable doing so.
As a cis male, I’m totally in favor of this idea.
In fact, I went to school in Germany and I was throwing a frisbee with some friends in the park. It was a beautiful summer day, which was rare, and I retrieved the disc that landed near an attractive young lady sunning herself topless. I still think of her fondly.
And this comment is why women often do not go topless, even if the laws in a country allow it.
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Someone’s jerked off to a memory
Actually he did it right there in the park
Reading the comments made me wonder how people react to elderly people in a female body and those considered unattractive who go topless. It’s probably still harassment?
Yeah. We don’t get harassed because those men find us attractive. It’s because they want to make us uncomfortable.
They can, but harassment from men keeps lots of women from doing so. We already get harassed when we’re covered.
Because of creeps, freaks, and prudes
Women compensate by only wearing the shortest of shorts during winter while men cover their ankles.
You know, I’ve been in places with lots of nudity, and for the first day or so all you want to do is look. Then after that you stop looking and it just becomes normal. I imagine if women going topless was more common, guys would not look any more than they currently do.
I personally don’t want a boner at the gym, I really wish men only gyms were a thing
I’m a grower, I wear boxer briefs, it’s just all around uncomfortable to get aroused in public lol, it’s not a choice personally, if I could have no sexual feelings when outside id be down actually, men also have to wear shirts at my gym, think its a common rule
I hate the no reason boxers. I was told the would stop in high school…
Everyones fit and wearing basically swimsuits while recording themselves with tripods trying to get tiktok famous, so theres a reason, I actually never had this issue before everyone tried to be a workout influencer, the last decade the gym has become a bit much
Dude. If have enough remaining brainpower to ogle women at the gym and enough blood flow to spare to give you a boner I can assure you you’re barely working out.
Learn to focus.
That said, being topless (for both men and women) in a gym is gross. Don’t leave sweat everywhere. The question is for running outside…
Lol I can deadlift max weight and still get hard 5 minutes later, maybe see a doctor? If anything I get harder easier after excercise because of the blood flow
You can learn self-control.
Teach, don’t preach. This things got a mind of it’s own. If you know how to turn off my doppelwanger don’t keep it to yourself.
I’ve gotten rock hard looking at sand. Fucking sand. Don’t tell me we can control it.
My wife things that we can erect and/or ejaculate at will. Yeah. That not how it works.
If you’re actually working out you don’t have blood flow to spare to have a boner…
And if as you say you can have a boner looking at sand it and don’t control it it seems to me like having topless women around shouldn’t influence that much the odds you get a boner.
If im at the gym for an hour and a half I take like 5-10 minutes breaks between sets, I max weights and my gym has enough room usually to where ppl arent waiting for the area? Idk anyone who just works out continuously, yeah if I’m actively squatting/deadlifting, I wont get hard but for the breaks in between its a possibility. And it’s more like it starts up and goes back down, rather than staying up? But since it grows it’s never in a comfortable spot to get hard, itll grow like straight forward.
Just like any other emotion arousal is a response to a thought. It’s a wave of experience that’s washing over you. That part you can control but it’s less important here. The important part is the thought triggering the arousal. When you are in a situation where you think you can experience sexual outcomes (even if just fantasy) you’re likely to trigger your arousal response and pop a boner. These thoughts can also be tied to set and setting. You probably trained yourself not to have erections around family or in places with social stigma around it like most public places. So you have to recognize that you’re having a thought of sexualization, then you can reframe the setting as an inappropriate one for sexual arousal.
In the moment you can respond with deep breathing meditation if that helps. Focus on your breathing and think about the thought and (paradoxically) feel the feelings the thought brings. You’re doing two things. 1. You’re changing your learned response by doing something other than sexualizing a random stranger or sand (which ironically, being silica, is technically rock hard). 2. You’re learning how to recognize the thought, emotion and mechanics of it’s development to better manipulate it.
It’s not like it’s quick and easy, it can take a while and some effort, but not being a pest nor feeling guilty about contributing to women’s daily difficulty is imo worth it. Not only does this make you a better more approachable person in public but learning about your own arousal can make you last longer (if that’s an issue) and have better, more intense and rewarding sex/pleasure. Win win imo!
I used to imagine dead/rotton/gross things, doesn’t work anymore, now I try to get sad about dogs dying, etc.
🤣
I avoid any issues? I just stare at the ground or ceiling the whole time, would like to be able to just not have to worry about that and have an all male gym.
And like if I get one I can make it go away, it just hurts initially, because it goes from 1 inch to 6 very quickly and its never in a proper position in my shorts to expand. I can have max control, but if I suddenly see something it may just happen, like I still make it go away by thinking about something else to be clear lol.
Ooh that doesn’t sound nice, you shouldn’t be hurting yourself.
I’m suggesting you learn [train yourself] to be in the presence of women comfortably without even having to worry about getting an erection. It makes it a lot easier to get to know women.
But if you want a men’s only gym there’s plenty of hole-in-the-wall places called “Iron Pounders” or something like that. At-home weights are also widely available.
Like the equipment is super nice and it’s got everything, they did recentlly add cardio machines after not having them for years which prob caused the shift of gender
Yeah I’m setting up an at home gym slowly, the local gym is new and really nice tho, was men only without wanting to be for 4 years, randomly shifted and now its 50/50
Seems you have a plan. Good luck!
Maybe it’s a mix of fear and knowing i’m not supposed to look or possibly getting caught on camera accdientally looking st someone. Just the gym setting makes it uncomfortable and taboo maybe? idk
The taboo is starring/oggling or catcalling a stranger. If you look people in the eyes/face and don’t linger then no one is going to care except people who would have been a bother in any case.
Idk it’s only an issue at the gym, I goto raves bonerfree lol
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Grow the fuck up and start thinking like an adult and not a horny little boy. Oh uncomfortably hot sweaty woman… She must want me because boobs. Jesus.
I’m a woman. But hey, good luck with your problem. I see you wanted 0 criticism. Good luck 👍
Edit
I must note the irony of you wanting someone to grow up whilst getting very emotional real quick. Again, good luck.
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Looks like it’s you who are all emotional lol.
And why should that be a bad thing BTW?
It’s legal where I live, but nobody does it cause women don’t wanna be stared at and cat called when they’re walking around titties out
A few women I’ve asked are happy with it being illegal - they say they just don’t want to see it. I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who wants it to stay illegal, because for the most part they do want to see it
As a guy I kinda laugh to myself about those guys who walk around without a shirt on down the street
Yeah. There’s the dudes who have spent a lot of time at the gym, and really want the opportunity to let everyone know that. Then there’s the schlubby dudes who are just feeling too hot and DGAF what anyone else thinks. Not sure who’s more worthy of respect, there
^Real answer. It’s not just men, you’d definitely get stared at by everybody lol. It’s not bad but I notice a few stares here and there just going without a bra
They also don’t want to be photographed and end up with their tits all over social media. Places where this used to be routine (European beaches and so on) there is a lot less of this than 30 years ago. Another thing mobiles phones and social media have made worse
My mom seemed to always have them out.
And we all loved her for that.
In my experience (as a trans woman who has experienced both sides of this coin), I can no longer get away with being topless in most situations. However, I can get away with wearing less in more situations. It’s acceptable for me to wear a short cut, sleeveless tank top or boob tube in situations where it would be difficult for a guy to wear a singlet or other sleeveless top.
I am personally very upset that on some specific day during my transition, it was no longer acceptable for me to be shirtless in public. During summer I get consent from visitors to my house, and have my housemates consent, so go shirtless at home.
Vice versa, they can’t wear skirts for hot days, but gals can.
The answer is imho, holdovers from more sexist days, and a general attitude of not wanting to be seen as effeminate/photographed by creeps.
Even though guys have been wearing kilts for many years, in various cultures; and there’s AI slop now anyway that keeps 'em busy instead.
Iirc it’s also allowed in some countries. Naturism is bigger in them.
Men can wear skirts if they want.
Edit: oh, its probably illegal now in the USAs a man who owns multiple kilts I can confirm there will be some assholes that have something to say.
On the other hand, those encounters have been outweighed by the compliments and enthusiasm I’ve also gotten.
All that said, I say just do you. Haters gonna hate, people will judge. Stop caring about those people and live Your life.
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In some countries you can, I believe Canada is one of them… at least I believe it’s legal to do so in Toronto.
It is, but it never happens. I live at a beach where there are thousands of people on summer weekends, and it never happens.
Vancouver area: Wreck Beach and the South part of Crescent Beach are probably only some places where you would see women with no tops, because they also have no bottoms on.
Gwen Jacobs fought for the right to go shirtless.
