Guys, if you were getting hot and heavy with your partner, and they brought up the topic of pegging, and told you they already bought a strap-on and wanted to use it on you, what would you say?
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Straight guy here. My then-girlfriend brought it up with me one day, and I was a yes, definitely, but let’s go slow. She went slow, and I guided her about what felt good and what didn’t feel good (up, OK, now down, OK, right there!), and the orgasms were so good (even better than PIV, as good as those were) that I felt great for days afterwards. It helps to have a partner who communicates clearly and who hears you to know to go slow and when to go fast. We couldn’t get the positions right where she would fuck me with a harness (though she was so beautiful with that rubber cock between her legs)., so she would use her hands and a toy bought just for me. She also gave me oral pleasure as well, with a dental dam. I knew she thought I was beautiful when I came that way, and that was what she got out of it.
I’m glad that we talked about it first not in the heat of the moment. If something went wrong in the heat of the moment, it could have turned me off from it. Talking about it first helped a lot.
I’ve done it, its great titties slapping your back, orgasms to end all orgasms, potential for multi orgasm and hands free orgasm . Let go of your preconceived notions and go for it. But you might have to train your butt up a little and you need a good partner you trust.
As a guy:
I would say please yes just promise to be slow and gentle.
I am not (as much) attracted to dudes / masc presenting, but I have also always wanted to find a woman I would and could actually trust to do this.
Also, its kinda weird to me that about half the replies in this thread are from women, when the question was asked of men.
You don’t peg a woman. That verb means its going into a dude’s butt.
“Pegging classic is when a woman fucks a man in the ass with a dildo,” Savage said. “New pegging is anyone fucking anyone anywhere with a dildo. The definition is broadening,” he added. “Even [in 2001, when the term was created], there were objections to straight guys getting their own name for buttfucking, because maybe it walled off the kind of buttfucking they were doing, and I can see that.”
“I think people remember the initial connotations, but I think the thing that’s stuck is that it’s buttholes that get pegged, not vaginas,” he said. “‘Pegging’ doesn’t mean ‘straight.’ A peg gestures towards the use of a dildo. Pegging enters into your mind that it’s not a penis, it’s a peg. It’s the implement being used, which is what it’s referencing. Not so much the gender or sexuality, but the tool.”
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/fancyfeast/what-is-pegging-pegtok-broad-city-pegging-episode
The OP also uses gender-neutral language.
Just double commenting here so you see this:
The OP of this thread themself has commented in this thread that thry were specifically referring to men.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_(sexual_practice)
Pegging is an anal sex act in which a woman penetrates a man’s anus with a strap-on dildo.[1]
Where [1] is an academic paper from Beckett and Miller (2022).
Further Etymology of 'Pegging'
Marquis de Sade describes a pegging act in his 1795 book Philosophy in the Bedroom.[19][20] There is a depiction of pegging in the William S. Burroughs 1959 novel Naked Lunch. The dildo used is called a Steely Dan III, and is the source from which the musical group Steely Dan takes its name.[21][22] The 1970 film Myra Breckinridge depicted a pegging scene where Myra rapes a man with a strap-on dildo.[23][24] The first explicit pegging scene is believed to be the 1976 pornographic film The Opening of Misty Beethoven.[25] Bend Over Boyfriend (1998) is based on lectures and workshops by Robert Lawrence and Carol Queen. Bend Over Boyfriend inspired Dan Savage to call the act “BOBing” but his readers subsequently voted on the winning term “pegging” in a 2001 contest and the term has since entered the English lexicon.[25]
Since the coinage of “pegging”, it was featured in the TV show Weeds, on the episode “Crush Girl Love Panic” (2006).[25] Here, pegging appears to be non-consensual and is played as a joke towards the male character being forced into anal sex.[18] In the episode “Knockoffs” of the sitcom Broad City, Abbi (Abbi Jacobson) turns to friends and family for advice regarding Jeremy’s request for pegging.[26][27] In the 2016 film Deadpool, Wade is pegged by his girlfriend Vanessa, commemorating International Women’s Day.[28] In François Ozon’s 2017 film Double Lover, Chloé pegs Paul. Ozon stated that this scene, where the woman penetrates the man, “aligns with the feminist film that I advocate for”.[29][30] At the Met Gala 2021, Cara Delevingne wore a vest printed with the slogan “Peg the Patriarchy”, garnering media attention. She said: “It’s about women empowerment, gender equality—it’s a bit like, ‘stick it to the man’”.[31]
Sure, I will give you that language can change over time.
But also, uh, for the vast majority of the history of the word and the concept it has been used to describe, it means a woman with a strap-on penetrating a dude’s butt.
Dan Savage from The Stranger is not the sole arbiter of meaning and definitions within the realm of sexual act terminology, Buzzfeed is not the pre-eminent source of authority on sexuality and sexual terminology, it is an online click-bait tabloid and gossip rag.
Also, does Savage, or you, mean that anyone using any dildo on any person, any orifice, with or without a strapon is now also pegging?
New pegging is anyone fucking anyone anywhere with a dildo. The definition is broadening.
You pull just that quote, and the second paragraph, but the rest of the article seems to quote a Savage more times where he is referring to use involving a strap-on.
If the term is expanding in meaning to not even include a strap on… then anyone using a dildo on another person in any penetrative way is I guess now also pegging, and now this term is so broad it is confusingly vague.
It would also be more broad than the scenario OP describes, where they explicitly mention use of a strap-on.
Being originally from the Seattle area myself, I find myself increasingly annoyed that other people from Seattle, or closely connected to the Seattle LGBTQ / Sex Positive scene seem to just think they have complete and total authority over language around the topic, that Savage is some kind of unquestionable authority.
At this point, Seattle’s LGBTQ scene may as well just be seen as one large, loosely connected system of polycules, a ‘super-cule’ or something like that, with all the hidden drama and cliqueiness and interpersonal power dynamics that sounds like it entails.
Also… OP uses the term ‘Guys’.
To me, this is not gender neutral, in its context.
OP could have used Gals or Ladies.
Or Folks or ‘Sex-Havers’ or People or ‘Lemmings’ or w/e.
That’s a very verbose assertion of an opinion that a sex term has a specific meaning that is unchanged through time. In my opinion, the only gendered language in the OP was the term “guys”, which I loosely interpreted as an implicitly misogynist equivalent to the word “folks”.
If someone (of any gender) without an organic penis anally tops someone else (of any gender), I might use the term “pegging” because of my pre-transition male biases that I am still working to unlearn, where someone with a formal feminist education (or just more experience in the queer community) might use another term without the historical baggage of gender. I only see “pegging” as a problematic term outside of strict heterosexuality if people understand it the way you understand it, but if others see it as ungendered, they have no need for another term. It’s like how I identified as bisexual before a partner educated me on the spectrum of gender, so now I identify as pansexual.
Thank you for the intellectual exercise.
I mean, I have a good of experience in the queer community, you know uh, figuratively and literally.
I also have read a lot of feminist literature, though my degree specialities lie elsewhere.
And I did literally say ‘I will give you that language changes over time.’
Uh, anyway, the actual OP is in this thread and has clarified that they did indeed mean to ask this question specifically of men.
So, theory is nice and all, but when a person asks guys if they’d like it if their partner nails them with a strapon… generally speaking, the described scenario here is a guy being nailed by someone who would need a strapon to nail them.
IE, a woman, or transman, or someone who does not come outta the box with a meat rod.
Just curious: would you still not consider it pegging if the man’s penis was locked in a tiny chastity cage and rendered unusable when they use their strapon on a woman?
Nope.
Here’s my personal root for the term:
It is grounded in the I guess now older feminist concept of equalizing power dynamics very literally, within the bedroom.
It is about making a man physically submit to anal penetration to reverse the heterosexual dynamic stereotype, completely.
Expand the definition outward from that, but specify if you are doing this.
Call me an old fashioned queer, I guess.
Or, can you find me any examples of any kind of media of any kind of prominence amongst any kind of group, where the scenario you describe is simply referred to as pegging, and it is expected of the reader to deduce your entire scenario there soley from the term ‘pegging’ or ‘pegged’ or what not?
Legitimately, I would be less of a stickler here if it turns out that I somehow missed a mass usage of this term to have a way more broad meaning than it has had my entire life.
Nobody is like, in charge here, we’re talking about language, and specifically when it comes to sexual and kink language, mass confusion still broadly reigns as to the exact meaning of terms, and this can cause legitimate problems when it comes to knowing what you are consenting to or asking for or describing yourself as.
By ‘top’ do you mean… be physically on top of a person in some sex act?
Or do you really mean… be the most physically active and vigorous partner?
Or do you really mean, be the dominant partner in a mental / command sense?
You can mix every different combination of those, include all of them or disinclude one or two of those, and people still do, all the time.
I started writing a response earlier, but quickly realized how hard it was to research strapon and chastity use while at work. 😅 Now that I’ve had time to look into a specific term for this, it appears to be “reverse pegging”.
Given the way you defined your personal root for the term pegging, it sounds like reverse pegging may still fit this mold. Personally, I feel it requires much more submission from a man than regular pegging and has a larger power-dynamic swing.
Anal penetration can feel great for both sexes; however, even more so for men due to their prostate. This combined with the ability to still stroke yourself while receiving anal leads to amazing orgasms. However, by reversing who wears the toy, and restricting actual penis use through chastity, you eliminate both of those sources of pleasure. Also, there is an opportunity to use a larger toy than the man’s own penis (because why not), and this can add an extra layer of humiliation/kink. Meanwhile, the woman can get pleasure from any possible penis shape/size, which can also remain hard indefinitely.
I feel that “reverse pegging” takes significant submission from the man, while the woman holds control of the power dynamic (and quite possibly the keys to his cage). Alternatively, I see vanilla pegging as an opportunity for the man to receive extra stimulation, while their partner forgoes penetrative pleasure. It’s hard for me to understand why men would be opposed to extra stimulation and intense orgasms, so I don’t see much (if any) sacrifice.
I’ve always used the term “pegging” regardless of the genders involved and never gave it much thought. You seem much more schooled on these subjects so I was curious how other power-dynamics may factor into meeting the word’s traditional meaning. I appreciate the new perspective, and hadn’t previously considered how using a strapon without coming “outta the box with a meat rod” would also be such a major influence on one’s perceived power in the bedroom.
I accept that explanation. I was worried that the use of specific terms might offend in some cases, like referring to anal strapon use among lesbians as “pegging”, since the power inversion does not apply there, or at worst implying that non-heterosexuality is a situational substitute for “real” traditional heterosexual sex, which was the toxic discourse in my high school.
Well said noticing how many women commented.
There is even a Wolf commenting!
I guess uh, to clarify, was your intention to ask this of … men, women, everyone, some other category?
The question was literally directed towards men
Welp, ok then, there we go.
Now I get to make a joke about women inserting themselves in a situation, oddly though, mostly to tell us about how they do not actually prefer to insert themselves into another kind of situation.
As I said before: odd.
Good point
Yup. Tried it once already but I have a tiny virgin buttoned. Uncomfortable, but was worth trying.
Yes, I’d like that very much.
My very first GF was into pegging and I was still in the closet about liking guys too so it worked out pretty well.
I’m very much into it. I asked my partner while we were shopping for toys once if she would consider using a steap-on on me and she just sheepishly said no 🤷 It was sad and cute at the same time.
I’m going to ask my partner to soon. I’m curious to try it. I got a bad dragon orochi to try out
I’d imagine you’d want to start small
ya, I have a small one. Definitely not ready for a medium
Absolutely, and I can supply my own gear if they didn’t have theirs with them!
As a guy, I’m not particularly against it but my answer in the moment would be along the lines of, it’s a conversation we should have without hormones and endorphins in the way.
i would ask if she wants to use my 8" triple density dildo. it hits spots.
This isn’t my first rodeo
From the lady’s side - no, absolute turn off for me. You can ask once, get the no, please never bring it up again. You want a finger in there while we are fucking or during oral, fine, or even want to be sandwiched every once in awhile, that’s hot, I know how guys are built. But strap on I find so unsexy I have a very negative reaction to them. Not sure why but they are sexual kryptonite to me personally.
ETA sorry if this was unwelcome commentary. Just thought you might want some thoughts from those being asked to do the pegging. EETA because I don’t know any ladies who have asked to do it but do know some who were asked, figured that generally the request comes from the guy wanting pegged.
What is being sandwiched? My mental image says it’s one thing, but “no strap-ons” suggests it’s something else? Unless there’s another person?
AKA the Lucky Pierre
One guy with his cock inside me, getting fucked by a guy at the same time. I do like threesomes with 2 guys, straight or bi, either way is fun. I don’t really enjoy the other kind of threesome because I’m not bi but have done some couple-with-couple stuff with other ladies involved.
I’ll go along with whatever.
Nope
