• GreenMario@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I sacrifice C:\Windows\System32 to you, old noodly one! 🗑️ Bless me with the computing power to pwn my enemies in CS2, see them driven before me on Twitch, and hear the Lamentations of their simps.

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I’m an ordained minister in The Church of the FSM and I approve this liturgy. I should seriously ask Bobby if this can make it into official church doctrine.

  • kibiz0r@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    There will never be anything more illustrative of the limits of human intellect than the fact that a master logician famously argued that:

    I ought to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that rewards doing XYZ

    …and did not immediately think:

    I ought not to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that punishes doing XYZ

  • Coasting0942@reddthat.com
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    1 year ago

    I don’t need to. I KNOW the emperor of mankind will launch a glorious crusade to purge the Xenos and claim humanity’s birthright among the stars. Which means we need to triple our science funding yesterday if we’re going to have black hole cannons.

    • InputZero@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Your faith is lacking slag. The God Emperor of All Mankind is already here leading Mankind to glory over the xenos and has been for millennia. He has chosen to not reveal himself to us yet. Accelerating our approach to the age of strife is blasphemy. What if we build the black hole cannons too early and they’ve degraded too much when the Adeptus Mechanicus excavate them. Have faith in the God Emperor’s plan slag and rejoice in your duty.

      (Warhammer 40k for anyone who’s going wtf)

        • InputZero@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Huh, I was unaware of this church. I hope you realize that we were role playing characters from a table top board game gone super franchise titled Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000. As far as I’m aware, the Warhammer franchise is not associated in any way with the Columbus, Ohio Christian Xenos Church. That’s why I included terms like Adeptus Mechanics which is pulled directly from the franchise.

  • benji@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    The popemobile has bulletproof glass. If the Goddamn POPE doesn’t believe, why should anyone else?

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m ordained in the Church of the FSM and got my fiancé’s buddy ordained so he could marry us week after next. Florida say’s it’s all good!

    • KnightontheSun@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Is it really? I am FSM “ordained”, but as far as I know it is not accepted in the states I operate in. Not to worry, I am ordained in at least two other accepted online churches. I only do this for close family.

  • Sibbo@sopuli.xyz
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    1 year ago

    I’m usually worshipping Rigatoni instead, spaghetti are just too basic for me. Sometimes also Fusilli.

    I believe the pasta heaven is very much like the old Greek and Roman gods: more of a large family than just a single lonely individual.

  • R0cket_M00se@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    “Cause! I’m not going to potentially spend my entire life following the specific rituals and sacrifices required of a religion. What if it doesn’t exist? Then I’ve wasted. My… Oh… Shit.”

    Gotta Uno reverse card Pascals wager on 'em.

  • Margot Robbie@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I want to believe that this is probably the actual Flying Spaghetti Monstert that made this post on Lemmy.

    Because it would be really funny.

  • MasterNerd@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Because what if the lasagna monster is the real one and really hates people worshipping the spaghetti monster and subjects anyone who worships it to eternal damnation?