Stopped being a selfish piece of shit and turned my life around.

I’m now happily married four years, I have a job (that I hate, but hey it’s a job), and I finally feel like I’m a good person (overall).

I am proud of the life I’ve built. Before my teens were over, I had completely bypassed all thought of college, knocked up a girl, gotten married, and quit my band (the band was Plan A for my life). I had no skills and no plan and I’m sure even the people that loved us most thought that our marriage was doomed.

But it wasn’t, and those people were wrong - even if the statistics were definitely on their side.

I am proud that I have 4 awesome kids…

I am proud that my wife and I are still actively falling in love every day, 20-something years later.

Honesty, I’m proud to be loved by an amazing woman…

Though conscious of my privilege, I am proud that I found a way to build a career and provide for my family despite having no education. I make over 200k now and that’s simply way, way more than I ever thought I would be able to pull down.

Illustrated a whole book published by Penguin.

I don’t think I have the time and inclination to find illustration jobs anymore, but that was an awesome gig and I’d do it again if I had the opportunity

It took me until I was 24 to go back, but I just graduated college at 27. Despite being a 50s-60s student in high school, I got multiple honor roll placements.

Now just to find a job 😅

I released 2 albums and 2 EPs so far in the past 2 years.

Studied and passed the US Customs Brokers exam on the first try.

So far, helped raise two solid kids, who look like their heads are screwed on right. Most of the credit goes to my wife, though.

Donated $4000 to Ukraine

Nothing. Everyone one has made sure that I am proud of nothing or else.

Landing a nice career that I truly enjoy and getting paid well for it. Despite not finishing any education or having any connections. I got here on merit and skilll alone.

My current girlfriend and my most recent ex talk and talked, respectively, about me changing their ideas on dating and how men should treat them.

My ex and I ended because of some things she was going through and she decided to break things off with me because of that; stuff impacting her life that had no bearing on me as a person.

But she would tell me about guys who would use her for easy, quick sex. She was obviously looking for love and they were looking for a quick fuck. She said that spending time with me and us dating made her feel valued and respected. She didn’t go on real dates with these other guys, she didn’t have them do things like hold the door open for her or other gentlemany things I had done. Honestly, I told her it was the bare minimum to do while on a date, and she should expect more for herself.

Not that she should be snotty and be entitled in the wrong ways, but don’t be afraid to tell some horny freak to fuck off once in a while. It’s not like you’re always horny and ready to fuck, why should it always be when he wants it? Why don’t you get some of the basic things you want too like being taken out for dinner and a movie and ending the night without always having sex? Why can’t he come around even when you’re unable to have sex, like when you’re on your period, and be able to just take you out for a nice evening? Why can’t you have some of the nice things like being treated like a lady sometimes, especially when you clearly are a respectful lady, yourself?! Why shouldn’t you get gifts and be taken out on a special day like Valentine’s Day? I had gotten her a rose like the one from Beauty and the Beast and she loved it so much, said it was the only time she ever got a gift on a V day and that honestly made me sad but feel good that I could make that day one to remember for her.

It was nice hearing her say those things about me and me getting a chance to show her a little taste of a what a real man can and should do for her. I don’t feel like I did all I could, but I tried and I felt good knowing we ended in terms that were better than others. I used to remind her that her dad, who she loved a great deal but had passed away, would want the best for her and would have fought to make sure only the good guys were in her life and she should do the same for herself.

My current girlfriend and I always talk about this, we just did before I came back from lunch. She told me how she’s not used to being the one to want sex from a man and she would just sort of “give in” when her boyfriends would ask for sex, even if she wasn’t really in the mood, because she felt like that’s just what you do in a relationship. Which, I guess can be true to an extent. A good partner will do things for their partner even if not in the mood but it doesn’t always have to be that way and not for every occasion. I told her that if she ever doesn’t feel like it, it’s fine for me. I have other ways to “please” myself, and they don’t have to involve me cheating either. Her ex husband cheated on her and she felt low self esteem as a result of it, for obvious reasons. But she says how she feels valued and pretty when she’s with me. She always has the most beautiful smile and blushing when I tell her she’s pretty or beautiful and it warms my heart every time. But she really is to me and I sometimes just stop and stare because I’m in awe of how I’m here at this moment and we just shared a kiss and how beautiful she is with her smile after each kiss we take. She’s said other things too that make me feel like I’m doing the right thing here and she’s experiencing romance in a different, but good way.

I don’t consider myself a great, terrific guy, but it always feels nice to hear this from someone else as a sign of reassurance that at least I’m not a scumbag.

It makes me feel good to hear these things, that I was able to help someone feel good and see a better side to dating.

I insulated my own house despite not being particularly skilled (to say the least) and absolutely loathing DIY.

A bit more context. I live in a house that was built in the early 70s. When I bought it back in 2009, there was hardly any insulation and due to the way it was built it was draughty and cold. A few years ago, I had the walls insulated, which made the major rooms a bit warmer. However, the house was still cold, part of the problem being the crawlspace and concrete floor. Last year, I got all the debris out of my crawlspace and put a thick plastic film on the sandy floor. That had instant effects: not only did the humidity drop (and some occasional musty smells), but we also needed to use less natural gas to heat the house. This year, I finished that project by insulating the bottom of the concrete floor with thick rock wool. That job took me several weeks. First, i had to glue wooden slats to the bottom of the floor and then I had to apply the rock wool.

My DIY skills are poor. I did this alone. It was a hell of a job which I do not intend to do a second time. However, the rewards, both in terms of comfort and savings are great.

The main product line of our company is basically all architectured and programmed by me.

I immigrated to Vietnam. It was… difficult, but I eventually made it work. I am happily married and run a small company.

Not sure about the whole idea of being proud of something. It seems to me that it is a concept that evaporates when you look closely at it.

However I am pleased with the role that I played in getting some meadows that were going to be sold off for housing included a nature reserve instead when I was the ranger for the site.

I’d created some good toad breeding habitat nearby and then I put in a lot of my own time in building a volunteer group and recording in detail where the toads went and how they used the land - including the area that was going to be sold - over the course of a few years. It turned out to be the largest recorded toad colony of its type in the UK one year. The data was a critical point in the final decision by the local authority.

The thing about being proud is that it seems odd to be proud of something over which you have no control. Well, OK, I did have control here: I chose to spend my time in doing this, certainly. But I can be quite determined about things like that - that is down to my temperament. Do I actually have control of my temperament - or was I just born that way? Even if I have developed my own temperament over the years - wouldn’t that simply be because I was born with the capability of developing it? And so on and so on. Ultimately it always seems to boil down to something over which I really couldn’t say that I have any control.

But I can be pleased at any of those, no matter what.