Assuming both or at least one of of them has a correspond sexuality/gender/etc that works with the other

    • sascuach@lemmy.mlOP
      11·
      2 years ago

      I’m assuming you don’t have a incest gilf complex going on, so you’re not sexually/etc compatible with her

      • Liwott@nerdica.net
        1·
        2 years ago

        OK gerotophilia makes that one seem obvious, but what if I said the same about my sister? My sister may completely be my type, and I may spend a lot of quality time with her. Yet, I won’t develop romantic feelings, because I have integrated the social norm that would make it wrong

        • sascuach@lemmy.mlOP
          11·
          2 years ago

          I have head cannon that says we have some innate anti-incest genes in us that make people we’re related to less attractive to avoid inbreeding problems.

          But yeah you can easily reply and talk about cousins, since we’re not that related to them.

          How about if i editted the title to say “If 2 people who are more distantly related than 2nd cousins spend enough quality time together, do romantic feeling develop 95% of time?”

  • Kilgore Trout@feddit.it
    10·
    2 years ago

    You can try this on yourself.

    For me, a heterosexual man with 22 years behind, the answer is no. I am not attracted to most women, and spending time together doesn’t change that.

    If we were stranded on a deserted island, things would be different though.

  • stopit@lemmy.ml
    7·
    2 years ago

    No… but similar…I’ve noted two very different people when forced to be together can become friends. Romance is much more specific in my view.

  • Jakob :lemmy:@lemmy.schuerz.at
    6·
    2 years ago

    If two people do something very dangerous together, the probability that they become a pair is much bigger than if this two meet somewhere else and drink only a coffee…

    There have been several studies… crossing a very small and swinging hanging bridge over a deep canyon…

    To get experiences in hard/dangerous situations makes big emotions, and this emotions create binding feelings…

    • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
      10·
      2 years ago

      Did a really stupid hike with a big group of friends. It was a few different groups, so some people didn’t know each other. We were 4+ hours out from civilization, had no cell reception, and were getting trashed by waves against a cliff face.

      We had a few close calls, but by the end we had 4 people back to safety, 3 people stuck on a cliff freezing their butts off, and 6 people who didn’t come to the area. Two of the guys stuck on the cliff were dating (we’ll call them Shirley and Lyndon), the third guy only knew me out of the whole group (we’ll call him Alfred).

      These 3 guys sat on that cliff for over an hour - The most athletic guy (we’ll call him James) swam to them from safety multiple times, but against the waves even James was puffed out. On the last swim out, Lyndon and Shirley realized if they didn’t get off the cliff now, James wouldn’t be able to come back to them another time. So they pushed Alfred off the cliff into the water (since Alfred was not moving otherwise), and the 4 of them swam to safety, all completely exhausted.

      That night and for the rest of our camping trip, Alfred, Lyndon and Shirley stuck together like a unit. They changed the sleeping arrangement to share a tent, ate on the same end of the table, went to the washroom together, we even made fun of them for it. It was crazy.

      So there’s definitely anecdotal experience that intensity forms bonds. That said, after the camping trip they didn’t stay in touch, so other factors do need to be at play for longevity too (living in the same region would probably help).

    • Jakob :lemmy:@lemmy.schuerz.at
      6·
      2 years ago

      So, if you want the other one should also fall in love with you, go rafting, paragliding, survival-camp…

      Not only for a coffee or in cinema. 😏😊

  • yxzi@lemmy.ml
    3·
    2 years ago

    Let’s just say it’s easier to develop feelings for someone you feel close to than for someone you don’t like

  • Mad@sopuli.xyz
    3·
    2 years ago

    the question always comes up for me, whether they’d make a good partner, but the answer is almost always no. most of the good friends i’ve had in my life have been female. and i of course had my horny and desperate phases, and am still more afraid of approaching women than men, even though i only want friendship. my point there being that i do “normal guy stuff” but it has not affected my ability to maintain friendships with girls.