@NotAGinger@lemmy.ml
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2 urte

What don’t I sell?

My store is 100 stories tall, 25 stories deep, and has the footprint of a major airport. Full of stuff from everywhere and for everyone.

The inventory is all on tracks and shifts around based on your interests/spying on your phone/social media/video and audio surveillance.

You need milk? Go to aisle 237569b on floor 36. By the time you get there, the milk would have moved to aisle 27a on floor 22. The escalators work on reverse consensus- only go the direction the store occupants least want to go. There are no elevators or regular stairs.

If you have any allergies, those items will follow you with more and more agressive advertising.

There are 4 entrences and nobody can exit the way they came in.

The parking lot is the size of Montana and you have to take a train to the roof and go down escalators on the outside of the building to enter at ground level.

ufra
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42 urte

There are 4 entrences and nobody can exit the way they came in.

this is the most important detail, especially if your shop is in a tourist area. there is nothing worse than exiting a store on a huge city block and having no idea where you are

You are not allowed to bring any bags and we don’t sell any as well

And if you try to leave with unbagged items, the off duty police officer who moonlights as security here will arrest you.

Christa
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42 urte

Milk, but only in bags of 50ml cartons that are extra-difficult to open, priced just low enough that you’ll be annoyed with yourself for spending more if you buy a larger container elsewhere.

@BeFree@lemmy.ml
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02 urte

The government.

laptops with glossy screens

Dessalines
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42 urte

The screens are all just mirrors and the staff pretends they’re not.

Exactly, and it blows my mind that glossy screens on laptops became standard. At least on a desktop monitor you can place it where you don’t get glare. The whole point of a laptop is that it’s portable and you don’t know what light conditions you’re going to be using it in.

@handvat@lemmy.ml
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42 urte

Keyboards which won’t register about 5% of the keypresses and drinks that make you more thirsty than you already were.

Bob_Bobington
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22 urte

Like silicone keyboards and sunny d?

@specter@lemmy.ml
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102 urte

pre-tangled headphones

Jakob :lemmy:
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52 urte

Used toothbrushes

Dessalines
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122 urte
  • Socks with holes
  • electronics with empty batteries
  • candy with the flavoring removed
  • empty packaging
  • phone cards with no minutes on them
  • trash
Marxism-Fennekinism
creator
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62 urte

electronics with empty batteries

Shh… don’t give Apple ideas.

not so much what i sell as how i sell it: i only accept Bitcoin and i use years-outdated exchange rates.

Only use rates that favor the store in either direction. .90/btc or less for purchases $60000/btc or more for returns.

Hot beer, that is kept in an oven.

Elbullazul
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122 urte

free beer but paid access to toilets

fatboy
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112 urte

Windows 10 laptops with only 4GB of RAM

4gb of ram? No. suitcase laptop from the 1990s but remanufactured so it doesn’t have collector’s value.

@handvat@lemmy.ml
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42 urte

And a slow HDD instead of a SSD.

​@
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32 urte

4GB is too much, I found some Windows 10 laptops with 2GB.

fatboy
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12 urte

haha that’s so wrong!

fatboy
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12 urte

haha that’s so wrong!

Apple products.

Kohen Shaw
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72 urte

All dongles and chargers are out of stock though, sorry.

Raavan
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02 urte

the floor is lava

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